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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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AlabamaForever Offline
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I'm a bully and i want to stop. - February 15th 2010, 07:53 PM

I have been a bully for about 5 years now, it started after i switched schools and after my dad died. I even bullied one of my closest friends and lost her. I want to stop being a bully, i want to have a better life, and not have people be scared of me. I've tried to stop before but i haven't benn able to I don't want to live my life like this. Please i want tyo have friends, and be a better person. Has anyone else been a bully and stopped, if so do u have any advice u could give me? Please i need to change.

Message from Jess- The OP has asked for help and advice. Nasty +/or hurtful comments will not be tolerated and will be removed.

Last edited by Unicorn.; February 16th 2010 at 09:42 AM.
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Re: I'm a bully and i want to stop. - February 15th 2010, 08:00 PM

Hello there and welcome to Teen Help. My username is Jacksonian.

Well, first off, you need to confront what it is that is driving you to bully people. There might not be any reason but it may be there also. So it is wise to meditate and see if there is a reason. You say it started after your father died, it may be linked with that. Perhaps anger that you lost someone or something else.

Secondly, instead of bullying someone, help them. If you see they need help, step in and help them. For example if you see someone drop something, pick it up and return it to them and so on.

But remember, it takes time for change to show. So be patient. and if after a certain amount of time nothing happens then let us know.

Last edited by Jacksonian; February 15th 2010 at 08:01 PM. Reason: addition
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Re: I'm a bully and i want to stop. - February 16th 2010, 08:02 AM

hmm i want to suggest something but first, i'm guessing your usualy round a group or a few other bullies, right?

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Re: I'm a bully and i want to stop. - February 16th 2010, 09:53 PM


I think it's great you want to change - that takes a lot of courage. You're definitely on the right track, so be proud of yourself.

Changing a habit, such as bullying, can take time and patience but it's not impossible. I think, one of the first steps is figuring out the 'why' behind your actions. When you bully someone, are you feeling a particular emotion? Such as anger or sadness? Do emotions cause you to want to bully or is it something else? If it is emotions, find a healthier way to cope with how you're feeling - if you're angry, take deep breaths and count backwards from ten, calm yourself down so you don't say or do something you'll regret. Try focusing on something other than what you want to do - if you're at school, pay extra attention to what you're teacher is saying, or the assignment you're supposed to be working on, etc. Find ways to distract yourself.

Something to think about is going to your friend.. tell her you're sorry for how you treated her, explain why you acted the way you did and that you want to change. An apology can go a long way, you never know.

Another thing that might help is counseling.. having a safe environment where you can talk about your thoughts and feelings could keep you from hurting others. If you have somewhere you can let out what's on your mind, so it doesn't come out if you're feeling a rush of emotion or something.

Hang in there, you're a good person for wanting to make a change. Take good care of yourself. x

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Re: I'm a bully and i want to stop. - February 17th 2010, 05:22 AM

Oh and you may want to take a look at this:

Adian the repenting used to be a bully, you should make a post their, he might be able to help you. (I don't know much about being a bully, just how to stop them, so this is my only idea)

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Re: I'm a bully and i want to stop. - February 17th 2010, 06:39 AM

Hi pinke, I'm so proud of you. Realizing that you have a problem and wanting to change it is the first step. Have you heard the saying "Actions speak louder than words?" I would say start there. Start being nice to people around you and they will see that you are changing on the inside. Then they can start trusting you again. I haven't been a bully, but I would say that's what I would do if it was me. If you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me
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Re: I'm a bully and i want to stop. - February 17th 2010, 05:49 PM

Hey pinke567, I commend you for making the decision to stop! If you really do that, you will soon feel better and you will know that it was the RIGHT decision! It is important in my opinion that you donīt only do this to feel better yourself but that you realize the damage which you have done to your victims and that you want to help them deal with it. You might want to read my "confessions" in the other thread. Although the first chapter mainly describes my own sins (which are most likely far worse and far more than anything you did...), the second chapter (which I am currently working on) will tell you my experiences with making amends. It might prevent you from making the same mistakes that I made, especially from constantly pushing and pestering your victims to forgive you and "get over it" when you have not yet deserved forgiveness! I made that mistake in such an intense way that the victim finally snapped and choked me with extreme anger until I passed out (described with more details in the other thread). Luckily there was no permanent damage so neither of us got into trouble. But it really made me realize how much I have hurt that victim. I am here if you want to talk.

A quiet conscience is invaluable. Do not relinquish it carelessly. I know how terrible it hurts when you constantly have a guilty conscience because of your past actions...

Last edited by AidanTheRepenting; February 17th 2010 at 05:52 PM. Reason: added something
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Re: I'm a bully and i want to stop. - February 21st 2010, 02:27 AM

Hm, pick with the wrong person, and you'll get fucked up.
I was bullied during middle school, I was scrony, I was 5'1, and I was tired of it.
I'm 5'10, and most of my body is pure muscle now, and nobody fucks with me.

My point being, you could set off the wrong vibe, to set a person to a total illusion to do something about it. It could end badly, they could shoot you, buff out and kick your ass, etc.
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bully, stop

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