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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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Miss Adventure Offline
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I don't know what to do about them - March 28th 2010, 05:01 AM

My friend, let's call him Bob, gets bullied at school all the time for being gay. The bullying has become physical recently, he's been punched, pushed, and he's had some threats. I've tried talking to the principal about it but he did nothing about it. Also, the guys have also been victimizing me and our other friends lately. I'm unsure what to do.

when nothing goes right, i go left.

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Re: I don't know what to do about them - March 28th 2010, 06:57 AM

You need to get an adult to help you. If the principal didn't listen, could you try another teacher? Or maybe your parents, or even his?
Good luck.

if you know the hunter's coming
then you hide or keep on running
'cause she's slain the gods before.
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Re: I don't know what to do about them - March 28th 2010, 08:54 AM

As the man above has said, get an adult that you know will try and handle this.

If the school still refuses to do anything and let's the bullies continue get away with it what you could do is try to get some public attention on the school by the press (as stupid as it might sound). I'm not positive, but I am pretty sure the press would love a story about a school that refuses to help a kid who is being bullied. Though that should only be for an extreme last resort
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Re: I don't know what to do about them - March 29th 2010, 12:39 AM

i love that last idea, if the school is refusing to help, then the media just eats up these stories about kids being bullied because they're gay. first,try to get adults to help, if that still doesn't work, i would say go to the press.
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Re: I don't know what to do about them - March 29th 2010, 05:10 AM

alright... first rule of sexualities other than hetro... Adults are bastards... (sorry i'm having a bad day)

Your friend isn't going to get bullied if he looks confindent (thats the first rule of anti-bullying)

Show him or find a way to tell him that if he wants to stop being bullied he needs to do four things
1. Always have his back straight and his head held high (bullies look for mentally weak people, not strong)
2.When he's talking to a bully, always keep eye contact and a smile or relaxed expression
3. Never rise up to a bully (eg. insult, get angry)
4.Make sure they know that the bullying is making him happy (Ignoring is one thing but enjoying is another)

As long as he pays attention to step 1. No one will want to come near him
step 2, 3 and 4 are just in case the bully talks to him.

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Re: I don't know what to do about them - March 29th 2010, 04:49 PM

I don't know much as to how to deal with violent people, but just to not respond in the same way. In addition to what other people are saying, I say you should watch over this kid, whoever he/she is. Just watch over him and try and help him out. For example when he is about to get bullied just take him over to your side and watch over him if you can.

I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
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Re: I don't know what to do about them - March 30th 2010, 05:28 AM

You should definitely tell a adult like a parent. Next, your friend needs to have confidence. He should not let the teasing get to him. As for the violent threats, call the police or get the media/press involved. Once they get involved, teasing will dissapate.
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Re: I don't know what to do about them - March 31st 2010, 08:30 PM

@XxMistyxX: I think I can give you some detailed advice. Because of my own shameful past, I have a lot of experience with everything concerning bullying, including some really cruel forms... To get to the core of your problem, I need to know a few things...hmm, 6 specific questions come to my mind (post here, or if for some reason privacy is preferred, you can send me a private message):
1. You said "Bob" gets bullied "all the time" at school for being gay. How long ago did he openly declare himself gay?
2. You said the bullying became physical and involving threats recently. Do you have any idea what may have caused this increase to a new level? Did anything change or did you (unsuccessfully) try to fight back?
3. How old is Bob (and maybe you), and how old are the bullies?
4. You said Bob has been victimized for quite some time, but you and your friends have only been targeted for a short time so far. Any idea why they started picking on you?
5. How many bullies are there (I assume they are all males)? Are they one close "allied" organized group or are they acting independent of each other?
6. Assuming, one or several of the bullies are from your school class, do you, or one of your friends, or Bob himself, have some personal knowledge about one of them (for example, were friends for a short time a long time ago?) This can help tremendously.

A quiet conscience is invaluable. Do not relinquish it carelessly. I know how terrible it hurts when you constantly have a guilty conscience because of your past actions...
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Re: I don't know what to do about them - March 31st 2010, 10:11 PM

if the principal wont do anything get your parenst involved, its wrong to bully because of sexuality andyour parents will put pressure on the prinbciple to do something. try telling other teachetrs as well, they may take some action.

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and i know i'm losing my mind for no real gain

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Re: I don't know what to do about them - April 2nd 2010, 10:43 PM

Teachers don't know what to do about bullying of any sort - FACT!
The only thing that worked for me was to talk to some older friends who talked to their friends and sorted my bullies out ... as much as this worked I really wouldn't recommend it:

1) I ended up being called a bully
2) It disrupts the "social structure" in schools.

Fact is, everyone experiences bullying (whether as the victim, the bully or a by-stander) and it is a natural learning process. OK I'm digging my own grave here, but I do sympathise, at the end of the day, it's the victims that get the better out of it.

As for you and your friends, could you try avoiding the ones who are bullying you? Bullies pick on those who are alone and have no friends, if you all stick together, you should be ok. Talk to your peers. It's not always a case of getting the adults in your life to stop it, its about getting the people victimising you to stop. The more people who are behind you the less who are behind your bullies. Remember, you all will live through this, you will learn valuable life lessons - they won't. They will be stuck in a dead end job with no chances in life.

Take care and look after each other. Friends are important

So much for that idea ...

Want a chat? Get in touch ...
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Re: I don't know what to do about them - April 3rd 2010, 02:01 AM

Tell The Teachers, tell your parents and get him to tell his parents, get the parents in there to raise hell! Call the School Board and get that Principal replaced. If the Principal isn't even trying to do squat about this then they should be fired and replaced with someone who will step up and do something.
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Re: I don't know what to do about them - April 4th 2010, 12:07 PM

Your Principal should be doing something, does your school not have an anti bullying policy? i think most schools do. I think that he should tell his parents, maybe if they ring the school will feel like they have no choice but to do something. They should have done something as soon as they found out though.

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Re: I don't know what to do about them - April 4th 2010, 05:30 PM

This may sound lame, but I hope it can help.

I've been critisized by homo-phobic kids for years, and it wasn't until this year when I changed something by doing really "nothing". I was forced against a locker being practically abused with words, and I may have had some sort of damage done to me, but I looked the person in the eyes, smirked and gave a laugh. It was as though I made him into something humorous. Of course what the bullies at my school are like, if they can't for you with words, they try violence. I didn't stop laughing.

My point is keep going, don't let them stop your laughter, nor your friends. If he needs you, step in. Bullies do become "weaker" if their victim has allies. Give your friend confidence that you care, and many people do also. Don't let ther bullies eye-view of you intervene with how you see yourself.

I mean who knows your friend better? You or them?

I am different.
I am strange.
I am creative.
I am destructive.
I am constructive.
I am trustworthy.
I am loving and forgiving.
These are the things that make me a Slave to Knowledge.
- ProjectD
"As a Slave to Knowledge I have the freedom to be as knowledgeable as I am ignorant."
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