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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Ryan1019 Offline
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i think i made this impossible to fix - April 27th 2010, 03:16 PM

ok so here's the short story...this girl (whom i found out to be younger) started talking to me, she expressed interest but whenever it came down to hanging out or anything she'd back out or make plans just to break them, SO i did the normal thing and said i dont want to bother with her or her head games and i told her to stop talking to me...well two days pass and i'm sitting in my college class and i get 3 phone calls and a text from a number claiming to be her boyfriend, threatening me, telling me to meet up with him blah blah..well i told him to stop calling me or texting me or i'll call the cops..then i texted her and asked her to stop giving out my number..well she never stopped texting..

they both began to threaten me, insult me and all this, so when i got home i blocked both numbers. well that didnt help, i got ANOTHER text telling them to come meet up with them..i ignore it and go into work like i'm supposed to, when i get there the place is littered with security and i enter the building only to be confronted by these people (whom i never even met) i leave the building and then it gets messy when the security was called and then the cops. they were thrown off the property and i continued work (and got a sale! woop woop)

ANYWAYS i get home to block them on facebook and everything only to see their profile covered in threats to me saying "it's not over" and "he has no idea what's coming to him" blah blah. well i'm older than 2 of these people, one im the same age and the other is older than me.


this is where it gets tricky..AFTER being threatened for an hour and a half before i blocked their numbers i got angry, shaking-like angry and i have a short temper so upon realizing telling them to stop wasnt working, i threatened them back, equally as extreme as what they were saying..now i continue telling them to stop and they say, if i call the cops they'll report me for the threats i made to them..now i feel trapped and afraid to go to work at all.

would i get away with my threats due to them harassing me for nearly two hours prior?
   
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Re: i think i made this impossible to fix - April 27th 2010, 05:31 PM

They were the instigators of this mischief. You have proof that they were the ones who initially threatened you and have continued to harass you. So go to the cops and have charges filed for criminal harassment and threatening of bodily harm. Include the full story including about how you threatened them back out of frustration and anger, only if you exclude it from your story can it be used against you I think.
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i think i made this impossible to fix - April 27th 2010, 10:27 PM

Keep the facebook messages and texts and EVERYTHING, take it to the police and you'll get them arrested. I urge you to do so.
   
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Re: i think i made this impossible to fix - April 27th 2010, 10:37 PM

I would definitely go to the police and give them the whole story (including what you said). If you explain that you only threatened them back because ignoring them didn't seem to be working, I think they would understand. But you should definitely go to the police as soon as possible, I think they are more likely to believe the first person who goes to them.



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Re: i think i made this impossible to fix - April 29th 2010, 01:55 AM

I'm in the same kinda situation atm tbh. So I kinda know what your going through, this is basically the advice I got, and some of it's my own advice.

If you get phone calls - record the whole convo, that means what you say and what they say. Leave nothing out, or it can be and probably will be used against you. Note the numbers down unless they are withheld.

Texts- Save them, the one you get and the ones you send. Note down the numbers if you can.

Facebook/other networking sites. - Again save convos, print screen threats, although the police wont do anything about threats over facebook that don't include your name.

Work - Mention it to your boss, I'm sure he can ban them from going there.

Don't meet up with them and don't threaten back.

Phone the police armed with all your evidence, tell them you want it all logging down, and ask for a crime number aswell. Take it further if you wish to do so, but be prepared for the possibilty of them taking your pc and phone.

I'd advise you to change your number, if on contract ring them and give them the crime number and they have to by law change your number.

Make your profile private, so knowbody that isn't a friend can comment.
If need be make a whole new account.

If you have made threats to these people, make sure the police know about these, because if you didn't threaten before they started threatening you, if could be classed as self defence.

Let the police know that they are coming in to your place of work, and something should get sorted from all that.

If you need any more advice pm and I'll try to help you.

Don't let them get to you, and don't act like they are winning, your the strong one and you will be the winner.

Try to ignore them as much as possible.






Last edited by BabyIndia; April 29th 2010 at 01:58 AM. Reason: Correcting spelling errors :)
   
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Re: i think i made this impossible to fix - April 29th 2010, 06:34 AM

update:

i figured well i have nothing to lose so i messaged 2 of the 4 people there.

the girl is the most mouthy and threatens me and says shes going to kick my ass (LOL!) im not worried about her physical threats, im more so worried about her trying to hit me..and me not knowing what to do because shes female.

i talked to one of the guys she brought with her and he said they had no intentions of fighting me and never will fight me, they were there to protect the girl incase i did anything (um wtf?).

basically i told the girl that if any of them come at me it prob wont be in their best interest because i will probably be carrying something on me from now on. obviously i wouldnt attack them at all, but from my understanding the guys dont plan on doing anything at all, it's the girl who wants to hit me. (for telling her to stop talking to me?)

regardless..wtf am i supposed to do when a female tries to hit me? no offence to women but the average girl isnt going to knock a male out..who knows maybe im wrong but i know i'm not with this situation because she has to be [edited by Katrina: no weight figures, please sir!] at best..im just afraid, due to my temper that if shes pushing and smacking that i'm going to punch her or something and i reallyyyy dont want to harm a female at all. i feel trapped almost lol.

regardlessss i talked to as many of the people as i can find that were involved and they all say they dont respect what i said to the girl but they have ZERO intentions of attacking me or anything..who knows though.

Last edited by Katrina; April 29th 2010 at 11:29 PM. Reason: See note.
   
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Re: i think i made this impossible to fix - April 29th 2010, 06:54 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan1019 View Post
update:

i figured well i have nothing to lose so i messaged 2 of the 4 people there.

the girl is the most mouthy and threatens me and says shes going to kick my ass (LOL!) im not worried about her physical threats, im more so worried about her trying to hit me..and me not knowing what to do because shes female.

i talked to one of the guys she brought with her and he said they had no intentions of fighting me and never will fight me, they were there to protect the girl incase i did anything (um wtf?).

basically i told the girl that if any of them come at me it prob wont be in their best interest because i will probably be carrying something on me from now on. obviously i wouldnt attack them at all, but from my understanding the guys dont plan on doing anything at all, it's the girl who wants to hit me. (for telling her to stop talking to me?)

regardless..wtf am i supposed to do when a female tries to hit me? no offence to women but the average girl isnt going to knock a male out..who knows maybe im wrong but i know i'm not with this situation because she has to be [edited by Katrina: no weight figures] at best..im just afraid, due to my temper that if shes pushing and smacking that i'm going to punch her or something and i reallyyyy dont want to harm a female at all. i feel trapped almost lol.

regardlessss i talked to as many of the people as i can find that were involved and they all say they dont respect what i said to the girl but they have ZERO intentions of attacking me or anything..who knows though.
If she just punches you, just try and walk away. If she does something more, or she has a weapon, pin her to thr wall/ground or something, and then walk away. Don't hurt her fragile body more than must be necessary

Last edited by Katrina; April 29th 2010 at 11:34 PM. Reason: Editing out weight figures.
   
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Re: i think i made this impossible to fix - April 29th 2010, 07:56 AM

Well if she tries to hurt you take out your phone (i understand what your saying but i never underestimate the opposite gender) and threaten to call the police, as cowardly as it feels, i don't think it should matter more than stopping the whole situation.

other than that everyones advice about calling the police is good enough on its own


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Re: i think i made this impossible to fix - April 29th 2010, 04:23 PM

[Edited by Katrina: Our Peer Pressure and Bullying forum rules state: "Do not encourage bullying or harming others in any way."]

Arrange for the police to come to the meeting

Last edited by Katrina; April 29th 2010 at 11:39 PM. Reason: See above note.
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Re: i think i made this impossible to fix - April 30th 2010, 02:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan1019 View Post
SO i did the normal thing and said i dont want to bother with her or her head games
That's what might have pissed her off.

If u say none of the guys are after you then most of the problem's gone, but what about her boyfriend??? And I take that whole security thing happened at work, so they don't know where you live right? I still don't follow the part u said about security and police tho...

EDIT: and btw, ive seen some girls beet the shit out of guys several times lol. pulling their hair and head down and punching or kneeing or kicking their face. That's what they seem to do usually. Best advice is shave ur head so she cant pull ur hair lol. Ur just be ready for it when it's coming.


"I don't care about politics"
Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.



Last edited by BDF; April 30th 2010 at 02:22 PM.
   
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Re: i think i made this impossible to fix - April 30th 2010, 04:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BDF View Post
That's what might have pissed her off.

If u say none of the guys are after you then most of the problem's gone, but what about her boyfriend??? And I take that whole security thing happened at work, so they don't know where you live right? I still don't follow the part u said about security and police tho...

EDIT: and btw, ive seen some girls beet the shit out of guys several times lol. pulling their hair and head down and punching or kneeing or kicking their face. That's what they seem to do usually. Best advice is shave ur head so she cant pull ur hair lol. Ur just be ready for it when it's coming.
This only increases my sexist belief that all women either can't fight or fight dirty :P
   
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Re: i think i made this impossible to fix - May 1st 2010, 03:08 AM

pretty much if i threaten them with cops they freak out and are like "im not part of this situation!" except, behind my back they'll talk all this crap about how "he doesnt know what he has coming" like...grow up right?

also my focus wasnt about whether or not females can fight haha i just really dont think my temper would allow me to be pushed around and NOT do anything back..which is what i'm worried about.

except the thing is, now that this thing came up all of her friends that know me are coming out saying i'm some horrible person and making up stories about me. work is pretty much a hell hole, i have to look over my shoulder everytime i work. yay me.
   
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Re: i think i made this impossible to fix - May 1st 2010, 12:57 PM

Just call the cops already on all of them! These actions by your former friends can be considered orchestrated criminal harassment and defamation, and these people need to get the message to "shut the hell up" literally.
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Re: i think i made this impossible to fix - May 2nd 2010, 12:59 PM

Once they know your serious, i don't think they still talk behind your back, Not when they had police arresting them from last time they tried.
Anyway, i guess you could leave it as a last resort.


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Re: i think i made this impossible to fix - May 2nd 2010, 05:19 PM

You may not need to call the cops over their threats now. You said that they have been telling stories to people at work so depending on the nature, you can call it slander. That alone is viable enough for a lawsuit if you wish to get it that far. The threats from them are useful providing you did keep them and the threat you said would be viewed as a reaction out of anger due to frustration over something they began and refused to stop.

You would have a rather strong case for harassment and slander/deformation of character for the ones that were involved. I would resort to going to the police because your situation seems to continuously escalate from the time you dumped her and is obviously not going away despite however much time has passed.

If the female hits you, then I understand not wanting to hit her back. I would use a joint lock while continuing to reason with her, then pin her if need be. This may start a problem with her male friends in that they may become physical with you, in which case you would now have a strong case for physical assault to go with the harassment and slander/deformation of character.
   
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Re: i think i made this impossible to fix - May 3rd 2010, 02:22 AM

Just go on with your life. Leave this girl be, don't talk to her and don't be afraid. Let her talk however much she wants to talk but you keep on going with life. Honestly man, don't let such things get to your mind. Just go on with your life.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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