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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
thisiscourtney Offline
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So this is what I'm known as. - July 2nd 2010, 03:43 AM

I wasn't sure if this should go on Relationship/Dating or here, so...

After years of almost hating myself for not being "normal", I finally realized and told my friends that I'm just not fit for romantic relationships. Personally, I think they're pointless and I don't see the appeal in them at all, but my confessions earned me the nickname, "Whore". What's even worse is that whenever I'm introduced to new people, that's what I'm introduced as. Even if the new acquaintance says, "No way", then one of my friends will gladly step in and say, "She doesn't date boys. She only ****s them." This look of realization flashes across their face, and I can tell exactly what they're thinking.

I don't know what to say to them to get them to stop, and I don't know how to describe my preferences without immediately being judged.


Waitin' for my ruca.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: So this is what I'm known as. - July 2nd 2010, 07:26 AM

You will always be judged, always have your views judged and you will always judge others. Judging helps in understanding and interpreting, so it's an inescapable feat you want to have happen by nobody judging you. Since you said you don't do romantic relationships but never mentioned your sexual opinions, it was assumed you have sex as many teenagers do just without the romance. This is their understanding and it's clear why they understand it like this. You've also spoken out against others, so you get labeled as part of the "other" group that others are unsure and/or unwilling to deal with.

You can try to re-explain your perspective, although be very clear and concise because it may reinforce you being judged as a whore.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: So this is what I'm known as. - July 2nd 2010, 07:37 PM

There's a fine-line between a whore and whatever you are. And I'm not sure if you are or not. I could definitely see why they would say that. But you need to explain what you think much better so that they understand.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: So this is what I'm known as. - July 2nd 2010, 11:35 PM

Thats not cool. tell them that they should respect your opinions and your love life is neather there nor any one elses buisness? and just because you see things diffrently dosnt mean they can call you names? i said pregnancy creeped me out to my friends and they thought,
'omg, no preggers=no family= no life= whore' people can be judgmental, so you have to stand up for yourself.


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Re: So this is what I'm known as. - July 4th 2010, 11:44 PM

You need to get rid of those friends.
That's completely immature and unreasonable.

So what if people think that? The only thing that matters is what you think of yourself. If you don't think your a whore. Than you're not a whore. Other people can't tell you who you are.


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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: So this is what I'm known as. - July 6th 2010, 02:45 PM

You definitely need to stand up for yourself.
Tell them that they may think they're funny, but what they're doing is really rude and uncalled for. Ask them how they would feel in your position. If they don't stop after you talk to them, you need to find some new friends because these friends sure aren't worth your time.



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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: So this is what I'm known as. - July 15th 2010, 08:41 PM

If they don't listen to your objections and consider your opinions, they're not your friends.

When you're introduced as whore, deny it wholly and confidently. Explain that you're not interested in relationships with people, and that that includes sex. Yes, sex without a relationship is whoreish. But remind your friends you never said you did that. They have no right to call you a whore, and making other people see you that way is well out of line. Remember that people worth your friendship wouldn't judge you, or jump to that conclusion. That includes the people that are believing your so-called 'friends' over you.

Best wishes. Feel free to PM, 'kay? Even just for a hug.
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Re: So this is what I'm known as. - July 15th 2010, 11:56 PM

They can't understand and can't keep their mouths shut, and they are not friends for saying those thingd about you. If they can't even try and understand, then don't explain yourselves to them, just don't tell them anything because you can't trust them.
You not wanting a relationship is completely understandable, and I actually agree with you. It doesn't make you a whore. I had my heart broken so maybe this is different from why you feel that way, but you put yourself out there entirely and give them everything and then they say, "Oh just kidding, I was only using you for sex and didn't even want to date you", when you loved them so much, and then it ends up crushing you. To me I view all guys the same now, I will never trust one let alone date one ever again, it's a waste of your time when it never works out in the end. Perhaps I sounds cynical but you have to have it happen to you to understand, before anyone on here judges me for this.
   
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Re: So this is what I'm known as. - July 18th 2010, 08:35 PM

That is seriously wrong. What I would do is when they introduce you as their friend who Is a whore, just say, "and this is my friend who is a lying back stabbing bitch." but I understand if you don't want to do that. What u would recommend is talking to your school counscler (or someone like that) and explaining the situation and having the counscler talk to your so called friends. They shouldn't be allowed to detroy any chance you have of making friends with someone, just because they are too shallow to understand you. After that's over, find some new friends. :-)
   
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Re: So this is what I'm known as. - July 21st 2010, 02:46 PM

gah i hate when people take things the WRONG way. you said your not in for romantic relationships but it doesnt make you a whore. it just means your not comfortable with it yet. they really arent your friends if theyre gonna call you that in the future.

and even if your what they call you,they should be nice anyways,they sound like they arent accepting you. just that they have fun with backstabbing and calling you names.

i agree with some of the above. either you should leave them or stand up for yourself,prove to other people that your "friends" are wrong. that you are worth cause your a person,more than that.
for the first step,you can try understanding them,re-explain what you meant but i doubt they are even going to listen. you know them more than me. its your decision to make if how to approach.

hope this helped.


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  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: So this is what I'm known as. - July 24th 2010, 06:16 PM

I wouldn't even call those people friends. If I was in yours shoes I would just stop hanging out with them all together. If they keep it up just snap on them. Sometimes to get people to stop abusing you in a bullying manner is to show them that your not going to just going to lay over and take it. You got to show them that your serious that you don't like it. Maybe they think that you like it and haven't picked up on a clue that you don't(some people are a little slow)So before you snap on them try and sit down to talk to them, if they don't change and you snap on them and they still don't change then just leave them. You could do so much better.
   
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Re: So this is what I'm known as. - July 24th 2010, 10:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by thisiscourtney View Post
I wasn't sure if this should go on Relationship/Dating or here, so...

After years of almost hating myself for not being "normal", I finally realized and told my friends that I'm just not fit for romantic relationships. Personally, I think they're pointless and I don't see the appeal in them at all, but my confessions earned me the nickname, "Whore". What's even worse is that whenever I'm introduced to new people, that's what I'm introduced as. Even if the new acquaintance says, "No way", then one of my friends will gladly step in and say, "She doesn't date boys. She only ****s them." This look of realization flashes across their face, and I can tell exactly what they're thinking.

I don't know what to say to them to get them to stop, and I don't know how to describe my preferences without immediately being judged.
It seems its just better not to even tell them of personal stuff, cause it seems that they are the ones misunderstanding everything willingly.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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Re: So this is what I'm known as. - July 25th 2010, 07:17 PM

None of that means you'r a "whore". Means you haven't really found anyone who you connect with enough to hold up any sort of relationship. IMO it's not something you find pointless or not. It's a natural thing, slightly beyond you to control or even judge urself on.

As for anyone who says anything about you. If they are friends you should be able trust them enough to have a decent conversation with them and tell them how you feel about what they say. Hopefully they should stop then. As for whatever anyone else says, **** it. There will always be someone talking shit on you out of 7.5 billion people on this planet.


"I don't care about politics"
Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.


   
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Re: So this is what I'm known as. - July 27th 2010, 09:45 PM

Reading your post, and if I understand correctly, you aren't interested in relationships. If you ARE interested just in sex, but no relationships, unfortunately that is the very definition of a whore :/ But I think, from your description, that you're not really interested in the sex?
   
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