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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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my sister - February 21st 2009, 06:56 PM

i think my sister is a bully, but im not sure, basicly my sister is on msn to this girl in her year and she is saying stuff to her mean stuff, and is finding it funny and i can hear her saying oh what the hell cant you take a joke to this girl on msn. my sister has a friend round and they are talking about what they are going to say to her online and they have got their other friend on the phone. i dont know wether i should tell my mum n dad what they are doing and get my sister in trouble or let them get in trouble at school for it? because if i tell my mum n dad my sister will get upset and her friend will get sent home and my sister will yell at me and then i will most likely get told off, but if i leave them to and the girl they are doing this tells at school they still get in trouble and most likely get suspended or get detention or get put on report? what do i do. i know what theyre doing is wrong but if i tell my mum n dad im stopping them from saying mean things but then i am getting involved in the situation, and ive just heard them say omg she thinks im being serious what an idiot. or do i lieave them to get in trouble at school? my sister and her is bullying someone but not sure how to go about stopping them? and now they are joking about self harm to her do i stop them or leave them to it. what do i do, do i stop them before they get in to deep or leave it for them to get told off they are now putting the girl on speaker phone as they have got her to ring them, they are now telling her to eat and telling her not to go anorexic, im worried my sister and her firends are bullies.
   
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Re: my sister - February 21st 2009, 11:46 PM

Yeah, tell your mom. She's being a bully. With all due respect, it'll get worse and worse and one day some big girl is gonna knock her through a wall and then she'll be the one crying.



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Re: my sister - February 22nd 2009, 01:05 AM

yea... i think u should tell ur parents... ur sister needs to be stopped.
maybe if u don't want ur sister to find out it was u who told ur parents... maybe just tell them to listen in on what ur sister is doing... so then they can say "oh we over heard u saying this" that should leave u out of it.



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Re: my sister - February 22nd 2009, 11:07 AM

I listend to my sister abit more and she started telling the girl how silly she was being by not eating and that she cares about her, and stuff like that. she then told the girl that they were drunk (they werent as they 12 and 13 and are not allowed any booze) but im worried that if this all gets out and the school find out that they saying they were drunk the social could be involved and the last thing i want. im stuck. and not sure what to do, my sister said to the girl she cares about her because shes not eating, but is at the same time bullying her its odd its like she cares but she dont?
   
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Re: my sister - February 22nd 2009, 12:51 PM

hey!

I think you need to tell somebody about what she is doing, even if it is your own sister. Bullying stays with people a long, long time and they remember it for years, it can be really damaging. Your sister might also be having her own problems, that cause her to be nasty to this other girl.

If you tell somebody like your parents or school then they can help. They can help your sister and they can help the girl. Have you asked your sister why she does this? Maybe its something you can help her with.

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Re: my sister - February 22nd 2009, 10:17 PM

Hi,

Honestly, I think before you approach your parents about your sister or do anything more, you should talk to her first. Get her side of the story, give her a chance to explain what's going on. It could be bullying, as you originally thought but it might just be that your sister cares about the girl and maybe she just doesn't have the best approach to helping, if that makes sense? I would confront her about the drinking as well; again, try getting her side of the story first. Once you've done that, you can decide what to do from there - if it seems like your sister is indeed bullying the girl, go to your parents. Whether she'll be mad at you for telling your parents or not, bullying isn't something that can be forgotten easily [as Jen said]. Would you rather have your sister mad at you, or the girl she's bullying hurt for life because of this? If, after listening to what your sister has to say, you think she's genuinely trying to help but maybe is a bit...misguided, as to how to do so, talk with her about it and help her to understand what she's doing isn't ok.

Take care of yourself.



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Re: my sister - February 23rd 2009, 12:14 AM

I wouldn't run to the parents. You're older, more mature, had more experience, you can talk to her at a more personal level rather than on a level of "don't bully or you'll get grounded" or such crap. She probably doesn't see it as bullying but rather some weak, insignificant person who is very weak, stupid and easy to mess with. Essentially, it'd be like having a good time and probably isn't intending to hurt the person, or else she'd have already (or planning to) physically beat down the girl. As it's silly little msn babble, I doubt it'd be physical any time soon. Or, I could be wrong, and your sister was a victim of bullying and now is taking it out, or your sister and the girl really don't get along and they bully each other.

After all, you're the bigger sister, so what would she see in you if all you do is run to the parents? If she sees a bigger, stronger sister there, you can be more helpful and useful.

Telling the school would depend on how strict the school is. If they want evidence, then you're stuck. They could ask the victim but the sister I'm assuming isn't dumb enough to admit to it. Therefore, it's word versus word and nobody should win. You'd also be the tattle-taling sister instead of a big sister who can help much more. So, I'm sticking with you helping the sister out and getting her to stop.
   
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Re: my sister - February 23rd 2009, 08:52 PM

I'm going to speak to my sister about this, just got to find the right time, moment ect.
   
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