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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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Unhappy It Just Never Stops, Does It?! **PLEASE HELP** - November 11th 2010, 11:09 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of peer pressure or bullying, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hello, everybody.

To start off, I just want to say that I was bullied constantly in the 7th grade by a group of boys who were so bent on making me feel like nothing more than a pile of dirt. Needless to say, their efforts soon payed off for them, because now I am shy and withdrawn, and I have extremely low self-esteem. Now I am 14 years old and in the 8th grade. I went to school this year thinking I was going to be bullied again, but for the first part of the year I was not bullied at all. Matter of fact, there were even a few people that seemed to actually like me. But for the past few days I have been harrassed by one of the boys who used to bully me in the 7th grade.

This boy, we'll call him "D". A few days ago, around Monday or Tuesday, he started pushing me while I was at my locker collecting the materials I would need for my next class. Soon after, around Tuesday, he started shoving this one other guy into me and him and the other guy would laugh afterwards. I don't know who the other guy is or what his name is - he isn't in any of my classes and I never see him in the hallways between periods. D shoved the other guy into me again today, and I really lost my cool after that. I dared D to do it again various times, but he kept saying no. To be honest, I was about ready to start a fight - I didn't care whether or not I would win or lose. I just wanted to get my point across that I was serious. At the moment I wasn't worried about the possibility of getting my ass kicked. I realise that my daring him wasn't a very good idea, but I'm also proud of myself for not keeping silent and taking D's crap.

Well, today during 6th period I was requested to go to the school counselor's office. Once I sat down, she told me that she heard from a reliable outside source that I was being harrassed by a certain student. I then told her D's name and what he was doing to me. I asked her not to tell D that I told her it was him, and she agreed. When I told her about the other guy, she made me look through these papers with all of the student's pictures on them and tell her if I recognized him in any of the pictures - I didn't. After a few more minutes of talking, she released me to go back to 6th period.

Now I'm confused about what to do and I feel like my nightmare is starting all over again.
Help?


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Re: It Just Never Stops, Does It?! **PLEASE HELP** - November 12th 2010, 11:50 PM

Well I'm glad that someone has told the administration of your school because bullying is never okay. While walking from class to class, keep an eye out and if you see D, steer clear and maybe go a different way to your class. Don't make eye contact with him and do your best not to react. Thats why hes doing it, he loves your reaction. It's going to take some work to really be able to trust people and open up, but you can do it. Try talking to some of the people who you say like you. Make some friends and stick by them. Remember that things will not be this way forever, so just keep your chin up and take care.


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Re: It Just Never Stops, Does It?! **PLEASE HELP** - November 13th 2010, 12:47 AM

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Originally Posted by Nicoke View Post
Well I'm glad that someone has told the administration of your school because bullying is never okay. While walking from class to class, keep an eye out and if you see D, steer clear and maybe go a different way to your class. Don't make eye contact with him and do your best not to react. Thats why hes doing it, he loves your reaction. It's going to take some work to really be able to trust people and open up, but you can do it. Try talking to some of the people who you say like you. Make some friends and stick by them. Remember that things will not be this way forever, so just keep your chin up and take care.
Thank you.

Although I would like to be able to steer clear of D, I really can't. This happens at my locker and I can't not go to my locker. I really would not like having to move lockers either. The last thing I need is to have to learn another locker combination. As for not reacting, keeping silent was how I turned into a quiet and withdrawn person to begin with, so that is not a very good idea. Not reacting would mean taking D's crap, which is something I WON'T do anymore. However, thank you for your advice, it was very helpful. :]


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Re: It Just Never Stops, Does It?! **PLEASE HELP** - November 14th 2010, 03:02 PM

I can tell you now that one of the best ways to stop a bully is to stand up to them. The reason they push you around is because they see you as an easy target, and as an easy target you're easy to show off against in front of friends. At 14, I"m pretty sure that guy isn't that much bigger than you. Next time he pushes you, ask him if he wants to do it again. if he tries to, *ahem* put a stop to him. The moment they realise that you will not put up with them, they'll back down and find someone else.

I was bullied when I was 13 for being small. At one point, the guy who bullied me pushed me into a brick wall and bruised all the way up my left arm. He tried to push me again so I punched him around the face. Needless to say, he stopped bullying me. You just have to show them that you're tough enough that you won't be pushed around. The first moment they smell weakness, they'll jump on you.
   
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Re: It Just Never Stops, Does It?! **PLEASE HELP** - November 14th 2010, 03:18 PM

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Originally Posted by Matthew View Post
I can tell you now that one of the best ways to stop a bully is to stand up to them. The reason they push you around is because they see you as an easy target, and as an easy target you're easy to show off against in front of friends. At 14, I"m pretty sure that guy isn't that much bigger than you. Next time he pushes you, ask him if he wants to do it again. if he tries to, *ahem* put a stop to him. The moment they realise that you will not put up with them, they'll back down and find someone else.

I was bullied when I was 13 for being small. At one point, the guy who bullied me pushed me into a brick wall and bruised all the way up my left arm. He tried to push me again so I punched him around the face. Needless to say, he stopped bullying me. You just have to show them that you're tough enough that you won't be pushed around. The first moment they smell weakness, they'll jump on you.
Hey thanks.
No, D's not that much bigger than me at all. He's only taller, but he has absolutely no muscle, and at least I have some. I thought about fighting him more than once, actually. I dared him to push me again and he said "No", so that tells you something there. I was like, well surely if you had the nerve to push me once you can do it again? I think he was a tad afraid of me after that. Now everyone at school is cheering me on to go beat him up if he does it again.
So yeah, my plan is if he does it again, he's gonna get it. I really don't care if I get into trouble for fighting.
Thank you.


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Re: It Just Never Stops, Does It?! **PLEASE HELP** - November 14th 2010, 04:14 PM

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Originally Posted by Metal♥Lover View Post
Hey thanks.
No, D's not that much bigger than me at all. He's only taller, but he has absolutely no muscle, and at least I have some. I thought about fighting him more than once, actually. I dared him to push me again and he said "No", so that tells you something there. I was like, well surely if you had the nerve to push me once you can do it again? I think he was a tad afraid of me after that. Now everyone at school is cheering me on to go beat him up if he does it again.
So yeah, my plan is if he does it again, he's gonna get it. I really don't care if I get into trouble for fighting.
Thank you.
Do NOT start a full on fight. That will get the teacher's involved, and they tend to have no understanding of how teenagers react to things. If he pushes you, push him back harder. Only use as much force as is necessary. Taller does not mean he's gonna win btw
   
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Re: It Just Never Stops, Does It?! **PLEASE HELP** - November 14th 2010, 07:05 PM

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Originally Posted by Matthew View Post

Do NOT start a full on fight. That will get the teacher's involved, and they tend to have no understanding of how teenagers react to things. If he pushes you, push him back harder. Only use as much force as is necessary. Taller does not mean he's gonna win btw
Well, like I said earlier, I really don't care if I get into trouble for fighting. But my plan was not to have a fight until he tries to start one, if he does. I agree though, if he pushes me again, I'll push him back even harder, then if he wants to fight we can fight. Although I must point out that my school's system is so screwed up that I would get into trouble just for pushing back and defending myself.
Thanks. :]


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Re: It Just Never Stops, Does It?! **PLEASE HELP** - November 14th 2010, 07:56 PM

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Originally Posted by Metal♥Lover View Post
Well, like I said earlier, I really don't care if I get into trouble for fighting. But my plan was not to have a fight until he tries to start one, if he does. I agree though, if he pushes me again, I'll push him back even harder, then if he wants to fight we can fight. Although I must point out that my school's system is so screwed up that I would get into trouble just for pushing back and defending myself.
Thanks. :]
That's what i was trying to warn against lol. The school system generally lets bullies get away with what they do, and punish the victims when they retaliate, so yeah, only use as much force as is necessary.

Hope everything goes okay
   
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Re: It Just Never Stops, Does It?! **PLEASE HELP** - November 14th 2010, 08:58 PM

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Originally Posted by Matthew View Post

That's what i was trying to warn against lol. The school system generally lets bullies get away with what they do, and punish the victims when they retaliate, so yeah, only use as much force as is necessary.

Hope everything goes okay
Thanks.


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