Don't Cry

[♥ Choir. ♥]

All throughout elementary school I was bullied, what I thought was so much then, I wish that I could have only that now. Six grade was bad with bullying, seventh grade wasn't all that bad, this year has been horrible. People will shove me in the hallways, tip me out of my seat, a friend of mine hits me, kids treat me like I'm not even there.
I've been paired up with two kids who hate my guts for a science project. It will only take us until Friday to finish it, but it's too long. Today alone was too long. One of them I was great friends with in sixth grade, her and I were never seen apart. We were almost like best friends. We were, until on the last day of school she told me that the only reason she hung out with me all year was because she felt sorry for me because I didn't have any friends. She told me not to expect the same thing in seventh grade.
When my science teacher was announcing the groups, both of them groaned when my name was said, one kid who sits near me even laughed at them. That alone made me want to cry. When the teacher told us to start, I went over to where they were sitting, and asked what jobs they wanted to do. Chase(the girl that hates me) said that she'd just cut out the stars for the graph, Lincoln would color them, and I'd make the graph. That is fine by me, I wanted to create the graph because I'd find some way to mess up the other two. I went up to get the supplies, when I got back and started to outline the graph, I heard Chase talking about me to somebody. Saying that I got really mad because I have to do the one with the most work, and that I'm a complete idiot who'll mess it all up anyway. I sat there are stared at her back while everyone around her started to laugh. I felt my face go red, and I wanted to cry so badly. I forced myself to swallow the tears and work as if I didn't hear anything, even though I wanted to yell at Chase. I wanted her to know that I just heard everything that she said about me. I know that those things are said behind my back, it always circles back around, but I've only heard it a handful of times right in front of me. And never said by anyone that I used to be really good friends with.
I don't want to go running to the teacher, and I know that if I tell Chase to stop, she'll continue on, or she'll get mad and yell at me. Or I'll get upset and start to cry. How can I just tune what she says out? We can't change groups, we were already told that. She said that if there is a problem, we're eighth graders, we're going to high school next year, we need to work it out on our own.
How?

[Cabron]

Eclipse...this is really awful. I fucking hate kids. Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is just ignore them. If you don't give them a reaction, a lot of the time they will move onto the next. If they don't, though, maybe it's time to tell someone. I'm always here if you wanna talk. <3

[Nostalgia]

have you tried building a bubble round you that has invisible shield ? like imagine theres this bubble around you and whatever they say to you the bubble is there and bounces their comments back. maybe try talking the head teacher of the school or something ?

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

The physical abuse you're getting from Chase and whoever else is what you should report, especially if there is visible evidence. If the teacher sees you're getting pushed out of your chair over and over but does nothing, that you should tell your parents. The emotional/verbal abuse that may be dealt with separately but the physical part you should report. I'd even go as far to advise you to try doing some of it back yourself.

In a previous thread, self-defense was mentioned. Have you gotten any training in it or in martial arts? It can make taking stress easier and give you more confidence in that any physical attacks by Chase or others you can deal with a lot better. If not, are there any team sports you can join? If you do, it'll help a lot. If you're alone with Chase and she gets physical, you can defend yourself a lot better and even have her take more of the pain.

Do you have any older siblings that either attend that school or are near-by? My father did this in school when he was bullied. He got his older brother who was at the same school, and during recess his older brother pushed the main bully away, intimidated him and the main bully became fearful of attacking my father again. I've done this for some of my school mates when they were bullied and I knew enough self-defense at the time to ward off any punches, simply intimidating them. Of course the main bully returned at my friend, so I gathered a few other friends, and that bully (plus his friends) never touched nor spoke in any mean way to my friend again.

For the teasing from the entire class, that's going to stop once you get the main person doing it to stop because many others are followers of that person. They're by-products, fumes, etc..., not the real fire. You'll find once the main person stops, many of them will stop or at least decrease significantly. You could try to do one other thing, which may help and be a bit hard but talk to the followers about something other than the bullying. Put that aside, ignore it. Talk to them about lunch or if they're waiting for the bus after school, chat with them there. Show confidence and happiness, not aggression or submissiveness. Don't mention the bullying to them. Trust me, some of them will be open to you and will chat with you, be closer to them and during class, try to be in group projects with them.

They may be conflicted because they don't want to be singled out like you are but they may like you, so you can get them to decrease in their antics. If you're lucky, they'll stand up for you but that's expecting the best. It can make it easier to deal with Chase because the reduced bullying from some others can make you feel better and show more confidence.

Don't be afraid to cry, it may help the followers stop and realize what they're doing is getting too much for you. The main bully may not stop but it would bring this issue to light for your teachers, parents and principal. If you cry and break down in a big scene, you could still get teased but much of it would stop.

[♥ Choir. ♥]

Originally Posted by WOW!USaidSomethingSmart!

In a previous thread, self-defense was mentioned. Have you gotten any training in it or in martial arts? It can make taking stress easier and give you more confidence in that any physical attacks by Chase or others you can deal with a lot better. If not, are there any team sports you can join? If you do, it'll help a lot. If you're alone with Chase and she gets physical, you can defend yourself a lot better and even have her take more of the pain.

Do you have any older siblings that either attend that school or are near-by? My father did this in school when he was bullied. He got his older brother who was at the same school, and during recess his older brother pushed the main bully away, intimidated him and the main bully became fearful of attacking my father again. I've done this for some of my school mates when they were bullied and I knew enough self-defense at the time to ward off any punches, simply intimidating them. Of course the main bully returned at my friend, so I gathered a few other friends, and that bully (plus his friends) never touched nor spoke in any mean way to my friend again.

Don't be afraid to cry, it may help the followers stop and realize what they're doing is getting too much for you. The main bully may not stop but it would bring this issue to light for your teachers, parents and principal. If you cry and break down in a big scene, you could still get teased but much of it would stop.

No, I haven't. I haven't told anyone in my life about it, only people online. I don't want to hurt Kristy, I don't want to hurt anyone. It goes against what I believe in, I'm a complete pacifist, even if I am getting hurt in the process. I want to find things I can say to them to make them stop, things that don't make me sound like a frightened little girl(like how I always sound).

No. All of my older siblings but one are out of school. The only one still in school, he goes to the high school that is about ten miles away. Next year we'll be in school together, he'll be a senior and I'll be a freshman. But he doesn't like me, like at all. Anything that somebody would do to hurt me physically or mentally, he doesn't care about it. If it were my sister instead of him, she'd make them all stop, and most likely get herself suspended in the process of doing so. But it isn't my sister, it's my brother who doesn't like me. He thinks that it's funny when I get hurt.

The last time that I cried in school I was in second grade, and it was because my grandmother had recently died and my teacher said something that reminded me of her. The kids at my school are really mean, the same group of kids in my science class made one of my friends cry, sob, this year. They still make fun of her for it.

[minniemouseprincess]

Okay, it may not feel like this is a good idea to you but you must tell someone. This kind of behavior from Chase and the others is inexcusable and gone on long enough. They are bringing you down and you do not need this abuse from them. I am afraid of what it will spiral into if you don't tell. Please just hear me out on this, why go through life suffering from these girls when you don't even have to? Don't worry about what will happen to them, worry about what will happen to you. Bullying is a very important issue and cannot go unchanged.

[FlyingTrue]

I must highly encourage you to talk to one of the guidance counselors, what you are going through is completely unacceptable.

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

Originally Posted by midnight_daydreamer

No, I haven't. I haven't told anyone in my life about it, only people online. I don't want to hurt Kristy, I don't want to hurt anyone. It goes against what I believe in, I'm a complete pacifist, even if I am getting hurt in the process. I want to find things I can say to them to make them stop, things that don't make me sound like a frightened little girl(like how I always sound).

Sorry to say it but if you don't tell your folks, there's not much you can say, other than what I suggested before of befriending some of the followers in hope the intensity decreases. The last verbal thing I could think of is when they bully you out of the classroom but still on school grounds, point out the power differential, that is, point out it's 1 little pacifist girl who people know will not strike back and this little girl is getting bullied by a whole bunch others. Ask them what they hope to accomplish, other than making themselves feel good over harming a defenseless person. Things like this which show you stand up against them and you verbally attack their confidence because the confidence and belief in superiority is a driving force. Ideally, do this when other students are watching and keep doing this each time because you'll have the upperhand in confidence. I've used this and others on here have said they've used this and it worked but you need to have the will to hold your head up and speak this. Otherwise, your only hope is the bullies get bored or someone intervenes.

Originally Posted by midnight_daydreamer

No. All of my older siblings but one are out of school. The only one still in school, he goes to the high school that is about ten miles away. Next year we'll be in school together, he'll be a senior and I'll be a freshman. But he doesn't like me, like at all. Anything that somebody would do to hurt me physically or mentally, he doesn't care about it. If it were my sister instead of him, she'd make them all stop, and most likely get herself suspended in the process of doing so. But it isn't my sister, it's my brother who doesn't like me. He thinks that it's funny when I get hurt.

He probably thinks it's funny when you whine and cry like a little girl especially over things that he considers relatively minor. You've got to convince him somehow or if you stand up against the bullies and get beaten up, he may be more willing to help when he sees you're standing up but it's a mob against you.

Originally Posted by midnight_daydreamer

The last time that I cried in school I was in second grade, and it was because my grandmother had recently died and my teacher said something that reminded me of her. The kids at my school are really mean, the same group of kids in my science class made one of my friends cry, sob, this year. They still make fun of her for it.

Sobbing indicates in the eyes of the bullies utter weakness, giving them more power. It allows them to call them whatever childish names because they can use the sobbing as evidence for those names. They are not seeing the impact or they are ignoring it, and being in a group allows for responsibility to be diffused so each person feels like they have less or no responsibility. If you are going to do what I suggested above by standing up against the bullies and showing the power differential, you can mention the effect on this person.

Overall, it's the submissiveness and passive nature that's allowing the bullies to dominate. If you wish to still be passive and not stand up, I can only say tell your folks and seek the guidance counselor as nothing else can be done.

[Sea Monkey]

Eclipse, I would most certainly tell somebody. It seems as though things are going out of hand, and it's hurting you.

[sunz123]

hey, maybe u should sorta think outside the box? for example type up an anonymous letter complaining about the bullying. Are there other kids that you see being bullied? if so then your letter coul be something like this:

"dear principal (or whoever)
I would just like to report a few bullying incidents that have gone unnoticed by the school staff due to peer pressure. (Put the names of the main buly's here, ex. Jane) Jane has been bullying the following students:
1)Heather (her lunch money was stolen)
2)... (constantly picked on)
3) your name (constantly tipped out of her chair)
4)...(etc.)
5)...
6)...
7)...
I hope the school does something conerning the problem.
Signed,
Anonymous"

This may seem "kiddish" but it brings in results, believe me I've tried it. What I'm trying to say is that there is more than one way to deal with bullies and you have to try to be smart about it. I understand pacifism and support it, but being a pacifest doesn't mean allowing yourelf to be trampled on. Be strong, be patient, be fair.
hope i helped

[Dream]

In situations like that, here is what you can do out of spite for these people. First, ask the teacher to be in a different group.

Grades aren't really important in 8th grade despite what they tell you, as long as you pass and don't get blocked from anything in high school (i.e. an honors math class you'd like to take to prepare for college). Colleges do not look at middle school grades.

What I would do in your situation is not contribute at all to the group project, but I would do the entire thing at home on my own and turn it in. That way, they will both get pissed off and complain to the teacher that I'm not helping, but I'd turn in a better done assignment with a note on it asking to be evaluated separately. She might fail you, but she can't accuse you of having no work ethic.


In eight grade, I had no friends, was bullied constantly, and did cry in class and have people mock me for it. And I am a guy, so it was that much worse.

Really, it doesn't matter. You could break down in the middle of class because of what people are saying to you, let it out, and they'll be vicious, but that beats keeping it in. It will not matter later what these people think of you. They will be out of your life soon enough. In high school they fade away, and after high school they are gone. This is assuming you don't live in a small community, though.

You know better than I do what you need to do. I just thought I'd try to be comforting.