What effects has it had on you?

[BDF]

So what effects has it had on you?

Maybe I'm just making this thread to justify to myself how I generally behave today as a result of bullying and blame it all on someone else. I probably am... but no doubt it's had its effect, whichever angle you look at it.

I've mostly put it behind me, but every now and then I read or see something somewhere that gets the shit snowballing again in my head. I find it very easy to overreact to almost anything. Someone might say something to me that might not be offensive at all but at the spur of the moment I'll get pissed at it. Well I've recognised that in myself and learnt to deal with it. It's nothing big someone saying to me something like "I always see you in the same jumper"...

I tend to isolate myself from people, am very careful who I chose as friends. I know myself too well and don't want to go talking about myself to some assholes who are gonna start some backtalk that's gona come back around the corner the next day and provoke me in some stupid online comments on facebook. Just an example that's all. Most of my friends I've got (about 95% probably) are from when I was 16 years or younger. Since a lot of people have told me that you meet most of your friends in university, it's obvious that something's different in me. I just don't conversate unless necessary. I hate the loud type of person that stands in the middle of a group of 8 "friends" yellin' about some stupid shit like how they got shitfaced the night before and threw up in the taxi cab. Next time choke on it if you're really that proud of reducing yourself to a pool of bullimic puke. Just saying... aimed at "them".

There's so much to say. Not to mention that I've got the shortest and most dangerous temper I know out of everyone I've met... there was just one guy back in the school days who I think might genuinely be worse than me in that respect. But it's a temper that only detonates in response to very specific things. The most effective way to piss me off being bringing something really sensitive up about my past and taking the piss out of it. Yea I didn't know just how bad my reaction could be to it untill it happened. Forget it. I'm done. This is more of a rant... like I said some things just set me off. It's half the reason why I spend close to 3 hours in the gym a day to exhaust myself and beat the shit out of a sack looking like a body bag hanging from the ceiling. It's easy... I just imagine it's one of my adversaries from school days inside it.

That's what it's done to me. This thread ain't about me, it's about you... so if you feel alright posting about it, what effect has bullying had on you?

[Excelsior]

Bullying for me is ongoing still. It's made me very self conscious, and I have extremly low self asteem. Walking past a group of people is hard and uncomfortable for me because i dont want them to look at me and thing or say the things i now feel about myself as a result of a lifetime of bullying.
it's also caused me to become paranoid. i think this is part of the self conscious issue, but if i'm out in public, i always assume people are staring at me, or laughing at me, or talking about me to the people they're with.
it also depresses me quite a bit. i take pretty much everything (even a slight comment that is potentially meaningless) to heart, and it can seriously upset me for weeks on end.
basically, the people who have little else to do with their lives, have made communication and socialising very hard for me, and no doubt for other people like me. i'm weary of the things i do in public, and when people laugh, i assume its at me. my mind changes what i hear to match something that coule be related to me, which brings me down more.

so yeah, that, and probably more, is what billying has done to me.

[kag22]

Bullying has had a huge effect on me.
It's made me very shy and anitsocial. I was bullied in grade school, so when I started high school I was to afraid to talk to anyone because I thought they would be just like the kids at my old school. I still have trouble talking to people when I first meet them, I'm afraid of being judged. I have trouble trusting people or getting close to anyone because I think that they might end up hurting me too.
I also have low self esteem, don't know when I'll get over that. Last year somebody wrote "ugly" on my locker. Twice. That just did wonders for my already low self esteem, especially if I look in the mirror and remember that.
Also depressed me a lot, and sometimes if something reminds me about it, I'll get depressed again.

[Glitter.]

I have never exactly been bullied in real life. Well, not to the point of a lot of other people. But I have been cyberbullied, and it sometimes sucks just as much. People on the computer have a way of manipulating people, and causing problems. They seem to be "fearless" as they are able to hide behind the comfort of their screens.

Anyways, the effect it had on me. Depression, and stress. Stress leads me to self harm. so I guess it's a cycle. It makes me fear opening up to others, because of the way I was bullied. I put myself out there, and made myself vulnerable, and I got bullied. It's something I am rather careful of now. Plus, it made me less trusting of people. I somewhat tend to isolate myself because of it.

[Unknown10]

I've been bullied in many forms throughout my life. I was bullied in year 7 where a group of girls took a photo of me on the toilet. Pure embarassment. Since a young child, I was also bullied for being 'different' because of my disability.

It has had a big effect on me, I have become more withdrawn from certain people and I have also become a shy and nervous person. It affected me to the point where I did not want to go to school because of what people would do and say, especially knowing that I would get pushed against the wall again.

Nowadays, I ignore the bullies. People admire me for who I am, seeing as my bullying story got me in the newspaper multiple times and also on a TV interview. TBH, most of them have become more polite towards me and have respected me. So as time goes on, it hasn't made a huge affect after all.

[Alone&Forgotten]

it makes me feel like im nothing and worthless and depressed itdosent have a good affect on me i been teased for my vision and lots of other things it made me depressed and sh myself it kinda ruined my like it took me over i let other ppls comments control what i did and what to change

[BabyGirl767]

it had a huge effect on me, once i befriended a girl and we ended up having this really bad fight that she started and she told me WARNING THE NEXT FEW SENTANCES ARE POSSIBLY TRIGGERING READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! "the next time you cut yourself i hope you cut a little too deep =]" and yes she actually put a smiley face, after that and three years of bullying in middle school and many months of bullying by two different teachers i have a hard time trusting people and i have actually overdosed twice, but i was lucky i didn't end up in the hospital(although i should have gone) on a breathing machine and a stomach pump. and i used to self harm,

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

As mentioned in other threads, I've done the bullying as well as received it. After reading lots of what others on here posted, I got to thinking what I received was a lot less so perhaps that's why these effects occurred. Anyway, the main thing that changed for me was to grow thick skin and when someone bullies you, have it not affect you. Later in high-school when someone tried to bully me I'd either laugh at what they were saying and spin it back toward them, making them lose their power control as a bully. Alternatively, I'd stand there and ignore much of what they said then asking things like "sorry, I missed that, could you say it again?". Much of this though I do think came from my family because my father taught me to use these forms of psychological resistance and to have thick skin for this purpose.

So in a way, I think it served as a way for me to better control how I displayed my emotions, body language and to better fake how I was feeling to throw the bully's game off. On the other hand, some of it went past that and especially for the physical part, I wanted to hit back at the bullies but it was never 1-1, it was always a group often consisting of older kids and higher grades than myself. I had to bottle up how angry I was because if I tried to unleash it, chances are I'd get in trouble and would lose the fight badly.

I guess it can be somewhat of a positive view in that it helped with forming thick skin and better control over how I displayed my emotions. Later on I was able to control my anger a lot better so it wasn't as much of a problem bottling it up since I was able to quickly change it from anger to laughter, confidence or nothing.

[BDF]

Originally Posted by WOW!USaidSomethingSmart!

I guess it can be somewhat of a positive view in that it helped with forming thick skin and better control over how I displayed my emotions.

Some days I get that. Inscruitable face in response, days when I really don't give a shit what anyone says. They are great, I just wish I had more of them.

[Infinite Limit]

Terror. Absolute terror of people talking to me, passing me on the street. I'm suspect of everyone. No one is on my side. Everyone is against me.

That mentality. From there it's led to social isolation, more bullying due to that, eating disorder, self-harm, dillusions, extreme mood swings, and multiple suicide attempts. :/

[TheCrowing]

This year hasn't been a problem.. but last year and the past eight years, I was bullied almost every day. Some months it was a few times on a daily basis. My sister even bullied me for the longest time.

I guess it's made me a much stronger person. I don't take bullying or anything like that anymore. People around my school know not to mess with my friends. They can mess with me if they'd like, but mess with my friends and I will personally make their lives a living hell. Most of my friends and I grew up being bullied.. so it's about time one of us does something.

On the other hand though, bullying has made me very insecure. I suffer with depression, anxiety, minor paranoia.. I've lost the ability to sleep well at night. It's taken a lot away from me and I hate seeing it happen to others too. Not many people around me know that I was bullied to bad though. No one ever guesses that I've been physically and verbally harassed for most of my life.

[Silhouette]

I'm always afraid of what people think of me.
I'm always afraid that they don't like me or even hate me.
I'm always afraid my friends just use me.
I'm always afraid that I'll end up alone.

[Bubbly751]

I was bullied all through middle school, it was so bad some days i would come home in tears. Now there isnt as much, and i can deal with it better. But because of it i had really low self esteem and hated myself for a long time, I sh and now I pretty much hate most people, cuz im scared of what they think of me.

[Youth Pastor]

I remember going through school and I wasn't one of the popular ones. I was in the middle but I do remember being bullied also. Here are some things I've learned in the eleven years since I left HS. First, not everyone is going to treat you the way you're treated now. Once I moved to a new town things really turned around for me. Second, they might forget you but you won't forget them. There will be some aggravation towards to the people, to say the least, so learn to listen to the positive people in your life. It will be tough but the people who are picking on you now aren't worth dwelling over. Yes, it's hard now because "they may be rich" or "popular." Their parents are rich, not them, and looks aren't guaranteed after HS. Focus on what you want to do after HS and make that a priority. In a strange way being bullied has helped to toughen me up to not really care what anyone says. People have told me I wouldn't amount to much in life but I have two college degrees, currently at a job I enjoy, and have traveled the world a little bit. The point of all that is believe in yourself and work towards what you want to do for your life.

[Kitty.]

I was bullied a lot when I was younger for a lot of different reasons.
It caused me to have the absolute worst self-esteem ever. I honestly thought I was worthless and that I was the most unattractive person on earth. Bullying took away years of my life.

However, I was able to overcome all of that and I am now extremely confident and assertive and I have great self-esteem.