"Just be yourself."

[DarkKristi]

"Just be yourself."
"You are beautiful as you are."
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

We have been told over and over again that we should just do whatever makes us happy, to just be whoever we are. But when we do, there are spectators commenting on our every move.

"She's so fake."
"She disgustes me, that bitch."
"Pity her? She doesn't deserve it."

What is the point in being yourself if you are depised by all? Is it wrong to even be 'yourself'?
In order to be 'accepted' by society, we listen to what they have to say. We change ourselves and become someone that we're not.

Then again, we are told to be whoever we are. And the cycle just keeps repeating itself.

So what exactly is the right thing to do? It's either give up on yourself and mix in with everybody else, or give up on everyone and be yourself.

[BDF]

The right thing to do:

Ignore them. Who are they to pass judgement like that? They are just a bunch of narrow minded fkwits. Why would you care what someone like that has to say about anything?

I've given up on everyone and went ahead with being myself. And I don't have a lot of friends as a result, but the few I have are genuine and real, not some phony cronies. I prefer that than running around with 3000 friends on facebook not even knowing who 90% of them are.

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

I've had people say I disgust them and so forth, and my best answer is a simple one:
"Thank you for the compliment" OR "I'll take that as a compliment"

Reason being, it shows I don't care one way or another about what it is they've said no matter how much they keep saying it. One of the philosophies I've always lived by is I do what I want, when I want and to whom I want. I live by success and forming goals, so if someone is screwing around doing nothing (i.e. petty insults you mentioned), they're just getting in my way so it's like baseball, either they move or I'm moving them.

If friends, family and people I admire have comments, I'll listen to them but not necessarily abide by them. To me, these people are more significant in my life but at the end of the day, I'm going for the goals. Their comments may change my goals but I'm still going for them in any case.

Moral of the story: if people are going to insult and degrade someone else, they should at least try. Saying "she's fat" is an observation not an insult, "she disgusts me" is a childish insult and "she doesn't deserve it" makes the speaker seem jealous. In either case, if they're insignificant, stomp them out until they cant move or ignore them.

[dystorsion]

In order to be yourself, you have to not care about what other people think of you.

You seem to be on that track already.

The purpose of being true to yourself, actually, is to not please anyone or live up to anyone's expectations but your own. So to receive critique when you're being yourself is expected and quite normal.

People who are true to themselves don't give $0.02 about what others think, which allows them to be themselves and internally happy.

Bottomline: If you're going to be true to yourself, expect critical comments about yourself as a person. But you're not supposed to give a crap about that.

[dystorsion]

Food for thought:

If you were on your death bed right now, what kind of person would you present yourself as? The people that matter to you are the ones you would live for, and you'll realize that the people you used to impress and live for.. are ones that you shouldn't have been trying to impress in the first place. If you think in this way, you'll start to shave off unnecessary flab from your character/personality. Because you'll realize you don't really care about their opinion, which has no significance at all. It's all about the ones you truly love and care about, and who you want to be. (Kudos to my friend, who studied philosophy, for bringing this to my attention).

So the fact that you might receive poo for being true to yourself should not prevent you from being yourself. You shouldn't be bothered by it either.

[dystorsion]

And it'll be so much easier to achieve these ideals when you exit high school and go into college or into the workforce. High school is a highly conformist society in which individuals are growing into their own images and are unsure of who they want to be, a place where others' approval matters a lot to them. If you can rise above these influences, you'll be ahead of everyone else in achieving a peace of mind.

[DarkKristi]

Thank you all. I understand now.
I have been asking myself that question for a long time now, and I don't understand it.
I didn't understand if I should listen to them or not. I mean, in China, (where I am right now) there are guidelines on how to live your life properly or how to be an upright person.

Being born and raised in the States, I found out that I am more open-minded than most of my classmates. This brings me to become the shy person I am now. I do not say what I feel and think anymore, instead I observe my classmates and try to be like them.

Now I am opening myself more. I speak my mind sometimes, but this is also what drove my supposly two best friends away. I don't care what they say about me really. The only thing is that I would rather they say it to my face and not gossip about it down under. Because of this, I don't talk to most of the people I used to talk to. I know that they have told all of them...I don't want them to think of me badly.

I am satisfied at least, since I have my boyfriend to stay with me. I am grateful that he was with me when it was hard on me.

I really don't care what they say about me. Half the time they don't even know that I understand. It may seem mean, but I find pleasure making them uncomfortable. Whenever they would be saying something 'secretive', I would just walk past them. This either forces them to whisper or speak Taiwanese.

[Sythan]

Well, thats China for you. As I'm sure you know, their society is based heavily on "Proper" living. Think absolutely nothing of it.

[DarkKristi]

Lol yea, I mean I'm going back to the states soon anyways~
:]

[Angeal]

I believe it's the right thing to be yourself, no matter what others may have to say about it. I used to think that I wasn't "good enough" for people, but now I look at them like if they don't like me, the way i dress, the way i talk, and so and so on the list goes, then forget them, their not me, and I'm not them. Not everyone's the same. I think that we should all accept each other for who they are and not who we want them to be. Me personally the only thing I care about in a person is their character. If I make a friend I want to make sure that that friend won't stab me in the back, or spread rumors about myself. I believe no matter what that you should be yourself, and if someone don't like it, it's their personal problem, let them deal with it themselves.

[Anthropomorphic]

Everyone has the right to their own opinion. We can't really stop someone from thinking or feeling it. But that's all it is. An opinion. Having someone tell you that who you are isn't who they think you should be is just a shallow assessment.

I really think it's impossible to completely "be yourself" though. I mean, we all have our own individual thoughts, traits, actions, tendencies, and ideas, but in the end we're going to be molded by those around us without even realizing it. The best we can do is do what feels right to us, regardless of the shallow and superficial objections of people who believe that they're superior just because of mundane differences.

[DarkKristi]

Thank you all. :]
Even though there are times where I will doubt myself, I will believe in myself.
I've always had a problem with 'loving myself'. I just can't bring myself to love myself, I see too many faults. :[