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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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Dansefleur18 Offline
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My coworkers - March 22nd 2009, 09:55 AM

I work in a supermarket and ever since this one particular guhy has started there, there have been some things occurring that have made me very uncomfortable. He's also been doing certain things to my coworkers, that originally bordered on teasing, now it's gone into full blown harassment I think...

This is a list of what he has done to various coworkers or to me. (not all of this is harassment)

-Spread a rumour that he is dating a coworker, then when he's called out on his lie, does the same thing with another coworker. I've noticed that this hasn't happened with the girls that he knows are taken, are over 18 or are no longer at school (most of us are at uni)
-Sprayed a coworker with cleaning spray and then rubbed her back to dry it. The cleaning spray isn't toxic and she has mentioned to me that she was very uncomfortable.
-Pushed another coworker in the back that resulted in a subsequent trip to the chiropractor.
-Made claims that he's liquor trained, smokeshop trained etc. despite the fact that both need permission by a manager and he has neither (I had another coworker check for me, she has access to this). Also liquor requires a permit, which the company is liable for if he was caught working without it.
-Has very selective hearing, failing to follow rules and claiming that our manager OKs it. Fact: while our manager may occasionally amend the rule when it's appropriate, it's for only THAT shift, NOT all the time.
-Gives orders or contradicts orders given by our supervisors. Basically, bullying the rest of us out of jobs we were given by supervisors. These usually involve putting away stock in some form. I have been known to give an occasional order, but these usually only involve asking someone to help me or if something has been overlooked. He, on the other hand, will force people to open up or clean. Basically, stuff he doesn't want to do. He also tends to take over any job that we were asked to do while we're on the floor.
-Consistently paid me out about my love life. This involved rumours and then just paying me out to my face. I've since given him a warning to stop this with the warning that next time, I will report it.
-Had a verbal fight with a former male coworker (when former coworker was still working) to the point where it would've gotten physical had my sup not intervened.

Unfortunately, while some of these have been reported, not all of them have. He's asked me why I think I'm above everyone else, yet he's the one who acts like it. He's also broken a few loss prevention rules such as having his wallet on the checkout (which is a big no-no) and so forth. I'm getting sick of seeing my coworkers act really uncomfortable around him and it's causing tension across my workplace. How do I encourage the girls to report it to my store manager, or would it be ethical for me to record what they've told me and present it in a written form?
   
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Re: My coworkers - March 22nd 2009, 11:07 AM

hi, i had someone where i work who was pretty much a bully towards me and just me. with me it was slighlty different the others i work with noticed and well spoke to her, she still continued eventually she got the sack. she also got the sack for other things like the things she was saying to the children. then agian when i was at school i was also bullied, and eventually a couple of sixth formers noticed and spoke to me about it and offered to come to a teacher with me, so we went to my head of year. (there is a point in me telling you this by the way) and we spoke to my head of year about it , one of the sixth formers was the head girl, so we spoke to my head of year the girls who were doing got spoken to. and becuase it happened on the school bus otheres witnessed to. maybe you could all suggest to the others you work with could go with you aswell and you all complain together.
   
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Re: My coworkers - March 22nd 2009, 09:02 PM

If you want to report it, chances are you'll need some sort of evidence of what he did. I assume there are cameras within the store, so if he was caught on tape doing the physical things, then you can have some evidence. The verbal ones would be a lot harder to prove.

About recording what he says, depending where you live, it could be illegal and you just end up slamming yourself in the shitter because it's without his knowledge or consent. If the co-workers tell it to you and you write it down, I think that would depend on the manager. If I were the manager, then I'd question you as to how is it that I can believe those statements actually were given by those people. To me, having the person there telling it to me or having evidence is much more convincing.

I'm not going to profile the guy and say, if possible, what mental disorder he may/may not have because I'm sure you can do that on your own seeing how it's quite obvious as to what it may be.

But, because I'm curious, try doing this when he talks: ignore every single hand/body gesture he does. Doesn't matter what they are, ignore them. Watch his gaze of his eyes then listen as to what he says very carefully. I don't want to tell you what it is that may occur because that may alter what you perceive. Try this several times, preferably, as uncomfortable as it may be, either alone or having others around. If I were in your position, I'd probably try to get into his head or do some stuff back to him, although I don't advise you do that. He seems to be quite intelligent, probably above average because he's managed to have the other co-workers not tell on him.

As for convincing the other co-workers, you could profile him then tell them the profile and have them hopefully agree. They could see what it really may be and ask them if they'd ever want to be around such a person. I assume they'll say "no", so you can encourage them to not let him get away with it. Also, if he sees no consequence, then it won't magically stop. If they put their foot down, then it can stop.
   
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Re: My coworkers - March 22nd 2009, 11:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by YourNightmare View Post
If you want to report it, chances are you'll need some sort of evidence of what he did. I assume there are cameras within the store, so if he was caught on tape doing the physical things, then you can have some evidence. The verbal ones would be a lot harder to prove.

About recording what he says, depending where you live, it could be illegal and you just end up slamming yourself in the shitter because it's without his knowledge or consent. If the co-workers tell it to you and you write it down, I think that would depend on the manager. If I were the manager, then I'd question you as to how is it that I can believe those statements actually were given by those people. To me, having the person there telling it to me or having evidence is much more convincing.
The ethical nature is probably the hardest one of all. I'm going to ask how long the security camera footage is stored before it gets deleted and verbal recording is illegal unfortunately. What I may be able to prove at the minimum is that he's using a supervisor's number when he's not meant to be doing so. It's not that hard to memorise a sup's number-you just watch their hands when they type it in. One coworker I noticed writing it down-I didn't report them on that one but gave them a warning not to do it again. My coworker friend has access to the e-journals and while her usage is checked, to someone in HR or Loss Prevention, it'll look more like she's following up on a cash shortage in one of the drawers.

I am going to try and encourage the girls to follow up the matter further, possibly by organising a time with our store manager where they can repeat what's happened to them AND get my coworker who's documenting the loss prevention and breaking of store policy issues (they can be a bit lax at times on certain policies, but anything involving loss prevention or safety is very heavily enforced) to bring said document in. Some of the incidents HAVE been reported, but the person they were reported to has now left. I'm surprised the little twerp hasn't been fired yet...I'd say he's doing the mattress mosh with someone, but it's unlikely. -+
   
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Re: My coworkers - March 23rd 2009, 01:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dansefleur18 View Post
The ethical nature is probably the hardest one of all. I'm going to ask how long the security camera footage is stored before it gets deleted and verbal recording is illegal unfortunately. What I may be able to prove at the minimum is that he's using a supervisor's number when he's not meant to be doing so. It's not that hard to memorise a sup's number-you just watch their hands when they type it in. One coworker I noticed writing it down-I didn't report them on that one but gave them a warning not to do it again. My coworker friend has access to the e-journals and while her usage is checked, to someone in HR or Loss Prevention, it'll look more like she's following up on a cash shortage in one of the drawers.

I am going to try and encourage the girls to follow up the matter further, possibly by organising a time with our store manager where they can repeat what's happened to them AND get my coworker who's documenting the loss prevention and breaking of store policy issues (they can be a bit lax at times on certain policies, but anything involving loss prevention or safety is very heavily enforced) to bring said document in. Some of the incidents HAVE been reported, but the person they were reported to has now left. I'm surprised the little twerp hasn't been fired yet...I'd say he's doing the mattress mosh with someone, but it's unlikely. -+
haha, mattress mosh, well, that's a new expression I haven't heard before so I'll add it to my little dictionary. As for the guy not being fired, maybe it is because of a mattress mosh (lol), or if the managers have asked him about them, he's been able to give convincing excuses. I'm not sure how your store works, but at some places the manager or supervisor inquires to the complainer and the person being complained about.

If they tell the manager all together and show evidence of what has happened, then there is no longer a burden of proof on your team but rather, the guy has to come up with some amazing excuses.

Did they keep a written record of the past complaints or was it simply verbal to the person that left? If it was written down, perhaps the current managers can look at them and see that in addition to what your team is complaining about, previous people have complained and nothing has happened.

The one main problem I think that may be possible, although I'm willing to doubt it won't, is that you mentioned the policies being a bit lax. That being said, the managers could excuse some behaviors that the guy is doing or also see who else is violating them. The reason I doubt that is because the policies in general, according to you, seem to not be enforced a lot, so I doubt the managers would be so picky.
   
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