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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
hello giraffie Offline
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i don't really know... - March 27th 2009, 09:44 PM

so i go to this reallyreally small school (about 60 students, 4 grades) and for the most part everyone gets along pretty well. but ever since my boyfriend dumped me last june, his best friend has been really mean to me. i mean, i thought we were friends too, when i was with my boyfriend. we would hang out and stuff, and talk at school, and all that. but at the beginning of this school year apparently he started saying a bunch of really nasty stuff about me behind my back, like, "i don't know why he dated her, she looks like a man," and "why does she have any friends? she's such a bitch." and he recently started saying things to my face, like the other day i walked into a class he was in to give my friend her phone that she left in my car, and he said, "no one wants you here, whore. get the fuck out." for some reason that bothered me more than things he usually says. i think its bcause he said it in front of a whole classroom of people. :/
the worst part is, all of my friends are friends with him, and my best friend almost dated him about two or three months ago.
i really don't know what to do. i mean, i'm afraid that if i go to a teacher or someone about it i'll be known as the kid who can't handle their own problems, but i really don't want to not do anything, because i really don't want to listen to him constantly insult me for the next year.

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Re: i don't really know... - March 27th 2009, 10:11 PM

Im sorry this really sucks. When he said that stuff to you in front of the class where was the teahcer? because if the teacher was there and heard hoim and didnt say anything to him thats not right. I honstly would try to ignore him for the msot opasrt and if things keep getting worse and he pulls something in front of a lot of people again..I would talk to a teacher I trust about whats going on. And maybe you and him can sit down in front of that teahcer and figure things out and the teachers there just so things dont get out of hand. I would at least try to work things out and tell him how everything hes doing makes you feel.



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Re: i don't really know... - March 28th 2009, 02:27 AM

Sarah,

Reporting the bullying won't make you look weak or like someone who can't handle something like this. He has absolutely no right to say these things to you or treat you this way. You deserve respect just as anyone else would, and definitely don't deserve to be in this kind of environment. Reporting it could make this stop; most schools do have a zero-tolerance policy towards bullying and your teachers wouldn't let this continue, they'd step in to get him to stop. What he's doing isn't ok, it's not right to let him get away with this.



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Re: i don't really know... - March 28th 2009, 06:15 PM

It seems to me that he's far too upset and taking the dumping of/by you too personally. You can go and talk to a teacher or principle about it, however, most of the time you'd need evidence (don't taperecord his voice). Ignore him, it's immaturity at its best.
   
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Re: i don't really know... - March 28th 2009, 10:23 PM

i really don't want to have like, a confrence or anything with him and a teacher. people who do that ALWAYS get made fun of at my school.
i could just talk to a teacher about it, and ask them not to mention my name. do you think that would work?
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Re: i don't really know... - March 28th 2009, 10:57 PM

Hey Sarah. :]

He has no right to treat you in this way. It is inexcusable and you will be doing the right thing by reporting it.

Yes, you can do it as discretely as you want, though it may depend on your school's bullying policy. In some schools, the teacher may make it clear to you before hand that they can't promise things will stay confidential, but they will do their best to try and make sure it does.

In your case, I think you will be fine. Just speak to whatever teacher you feel most comfortable with, and tell her that you want to keep your name out of it if at all possible.

Good luck! You're doing the right thing.
   
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Re: i don't really know... - March 28th 2009, 11:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by hello giraffie View Post
i really don't want to have like, a confrence or anything with him and a teacher. people who do that ALWAYS get made fun of at my school.
i could just talk to a teacher about it, and ask them not to mention my name. do you think that would work?
You could tell the teacher to talk to him and say that the concern was from an anonymous person.

I've said this many times and I'll say it here: why do you care so much? If he makes rumours or gives petty insults, so what? I don't let people that insignificant bother me simply because I don't care one way or another. If you don't respond to the insults or rumours in a typical way of being sad or angry, and you are indifferent, then people aren't getting a reaction from you. I tend to ignore those silly rumours and unless I can feel bothered to or am bored enough, I'll turn the tables around on them, get inside their heads somewhat then walk away making them feel humiliated or be-littled. If I'm not that bored, then I just ignore it or at most, laugh in their faces. It's an atypical response, it may get you other rumours, however, if you stop caring about those petty things then it can benefit you later. It's like this: if you jab someone with a knife or whatever, usually they'll flinch and whine. But, if you jab a dead person, then there's nothing.
   
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Re: i don't really know... - March 28th 2009, 11:18 PM

Hi Sarah!

What he is doing and acting like is completely out of line. I agree that it would be best to talk to a teacher, a teacher you know that will handle the situation the right way. And, so many teachers are willing to settle things anonymously. Notifying a teacher will help you! If not, it only can continue to happen and possibly worsen. You do not deserve any of those comments. He is a person who thrives on bringing others down but you are better than him. You should be lifted up. You could be potentially helping anyone else he may be bullying! Please, don't hesitate to seek help! It's the best thing for YOU. If you ever need anything, please PM me anytime.

Mary
   
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