Anxiety and School

[PixelG]

So...my classes for this school year started yesterday and I've gotten very, very anxious and a little depressed again.
Yesterday was pretty terrible since I still haven't made a single good friend so I spent it alone as usual and my social anxiety made it worse.

Today wasn't any better. During English class, my teacher told us to make a "clock buddy list" (basically a list of 12 people where one of them is assigned to be your partner during an activity if it's needed). You're supposed to ask your classmates if they can be your buddy and you can be theirs, but you're not allowed to repeat any people.
I felt scared because I don't really know much of my classmates and the thought that they had their lists full already and that I won't be able to complete mine made me more anxious.
Fortunately for me, two people asked me to be their buddy for it.
This list has to be complete by Friday and I'm scared I won't be able to.

And just a while ago, during dinner I told my mom that my school uniform's top was a bit short for me and that I'd like a new one. I guess I asked at the wrong time cause she sounded a bit annoyed and told me to buy one myself at the school's store.
Honestly, that's not much of a problem but I still felt nervous. I'm scared to go to the store alone and do it myself.

I want my anxiety to go away. I know I should see a psychiatrist but I'm afraid to tell my mom about how I feel. What if she thinks I'm just 'not trying'?

I'm sorry, I know how stupid and pathetic this sounds but I just wanted to let it out.

Hi, Gia.

First off, none of this sounds stupid or pathetic so no need to apologize. Honestly, reaching out and sharing your thoughts is perfectly healthy thing to do. Plus, chances are, many people have felt the same things you have, you know? Your feelings and thoughts do matter, and are just as valid and you're allowed to share them, don't forget that!

Anxiety can make simple things really difficult. So I imagine it's especially hard for you having social anxiety and school mixed together. You're really brave! I realize that it's not easy at all, but something that could help you a lot in the long run is slowly easing out of your comfort zone. By doing small things that normally scare you leading up to the bigger things then you could begin to become more comfortable in social situations and start feeling more calm in situations where you'd normally feel anxiety. Finding ways to feel more comfortable in scary situations could be helpful, such as creating a "safe place" in your mind. Resort to it by thinking of something that relaxes you, something that makes you feel happy. Or by focusing on something in the the room, an object, furniture, anything.

Breathing exercises can help when you feel anxious. Focus on your breathing and breathe slowly and deeply, perhaps you could do this tomorrow when you go to pick up your shirt? Applying breathing exercises for normal situations like when you're sitting in class, walking into a place that makes you feel anxious and so on could help it become a more natural response to anxiety. Which might help because anxiety can cause rapid breathing and everything feels uncontrollable from there I imagine.

At school when you begin to feel affected by your social anxiety, pay attention to what thoughts are going through your mind to cause the anxiety in the first place. Everyone has thoughts, fears and nervousness about different situations - that's perfectly normal. But what may help is to be sure we're seeing the situation in a realistic view. Because sometimes we can have a simple negative thought about ourselves, or taking note of the way we act in a situation and it grows from there becoming a habit of the way we think and causes lots of anxiety. Try creating a new, positive habit by taking a few moments daily and focusing on your good qualities, achievements and skills. Reminding yourself that you have many good qualities could help in improving your confidence in yourself.

Two people have asked you to be their buddy for it so far, I imagine that's a sign that you're friendly and approachable! Perhaps you could take this as an opportunity to get to know some of your classmates? This may understandably sound scary since you have social anxiety, but how about introducing yourself to some of your classmates? Then asking them about being your buddy for the list. Also, classes for this school year just started for you, so try not to feel too down about making a friend yet. I'm sure that if you approach friendly classmates you'll make friends in no time. On that note, are there any school activities you can join, such as clubs, groups or sports? That could be a good way to make friends as you could find others with common interests. You're probably a really great and friendly person that anyone would be lucky to have as a friend!

The fact that you're open to seeing a psychiatrist is a positive step as reaching out to a professional could be rather beneficial for helping you with your anxiety. I understand your feelings about being afraid to tell your mom how you feel, but honestly, I doubt she would think that. I suggest sitting down with her at a time she's not too busy and seems to be in a fairly good mood. Then calmly open up to her, explain how you've been feeling and the ways your anxiety has been affecting you. Hopefully by helping her understand what you're going through the best you can, she can support you a lot better and would also understand why things are difficult for you. Along with that, having support from your mother and general understanding from someone in your life could help a lot as well.

Your anxiety seems to be affecting you a lot and I'm really sorry you're dealing with it, so I really hope you're able to reach out and get help/support - you deserve it. You're welcome to continue writing here and keep us updated. Along with that, you can message me anytime if you need anything! Hope this helped, Gia. Take care!

[Astar]

Hey you don't sound pathetic or stupid at all!😀 I know how tough social anxiety is and you actually do seem to be handling it pretty well being in class😀 if two people have asked to be your buddy that must mean they like you, proving that in time other people will aswell. I think the main thing with all forms of anxiety is takinf small steps at all time. So instead of thinking I may not be able to finish the buddy list, think we'll so far I have two people and today I'll try to get one more. A good way to start is by simply smiling at someone or looking someone in the eye for a few seconds so that it shows you've acknowledged them and they have to you😀
Always welcome to PM me 😀x