TeenHelp - Extreme pre date anxiety

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Extreme pre date anxiety

Okay guys,so before a date I get so extremely anxious and it is not only on the Day of the date but in fact weeks before.This week I have a date and I really don't want to bail on the guy and I don't want to Go back to my bad coping skills(drinking and self harm).And the worst is that I haven't kissed in 3 months and because of that I feel so hopeless and sad because I am not normal like other teenagers.Please,someone helps me.I have tryied everything.I feel like I'll never be able to find someone because of this fear.I just feel like dying because of this.

Re: Extreme pre date anxiety

Heya! First of all, if I understood correctly you feel different from other teenagers because you haven't kissed someone in three months. Honestly from what I've observed, it's totally normal to not be dating or anything. I haven't kissed anyone for SIX months, and I consider myself to be perfectly normal.
I don't really know how to console you, because I would probably feel nervous in your place too; the ony thing I can really contribute is that in my opinion, nervousness comes from a lack of self-confidence, like there's this idea that you might mess up and look like an idiot. It always helps me to put myself in the other person's shoes... if my date was nervous and wasn't talking much, or if they knocked over something from stress, or whatever other awkward thing they might do, that wouldn't shift my opinion of them. Everyone messes up, everyone can be awkward, everyone is at least a little self-conscious, and you are no less amazing for being awkward or self-conscious.
I hope it goes well, take care pal xxx

Re: Extreme pre date anxiety

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skyline (Post 1266065)

THANK you so much!I'll try those tips!Thanks for everything,it really helped me!
Ps:By the way,I love the poem from where you took your quote from!

Re: Extreme pre date anxiety

Hey there,

I agree that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you not having kissed anyone in a while. I didn't have my first kiss until I was in my 20's. I think that it can seem like other teens are more romantically involved than you are but a lot of the time there are just as many teens who are not experiencing those things.

I think that nervousness over going on a date is quite common. I know that every single date I went on made me nervous. The thing is, you don't know this person as well as you could so you are probably stressing about how to make the date perfect. The thing is that no date is ever perfect and all you can do is go and be yourself and hope that this guy enjoys the time spent with you.

Do you have other concerns relating to the date that are stressing you out? It might help to talk about them a bit.

Lastly, if you feel as though you are going to turn to the negative coping skills I suggest you look into the Alternatives to Self Harm this can help you find healthy coping skills and might prevent you from doing something harmful to your body.