TeenHelp - stressed.

Hi there,

It sounds like you're dealing with an awful lot right now, and adding the pressure of performing for the first time in a very long time is obviously not helping. I can understand why you feel stressed and overwhelmed by this as taking a lot on all in one go can lead to feeling burnt out, unwell and unhappy. I think it's good that you've acknowledged this.

Is there anybody you can talk to about getting some support with this? If you're struggling with your exams, perhaps there is a teacher who can offer you some tutoring if you feel like this might help. That way, it takes some of the weight off of your shoulders because you don't have to struggle through it all alone. I would say the same about your speech. It's a lot to ask to have you prepare for exams, plus memorise a speech, plus then perform it when your head is already hitting a wall. If you feel comfortable, reaching out to your coach might help them understand what you're dealing with. They may not be able to offer you an extension or solution, but knowing that they're on your side and they understand can help so much with anxiety.

Social anxiety is something I deal with too, and I have done for basically all of my life. It's not a nice thing, and having to perform heightens it, so I feel for you and I know I'd be feeling sick and worried too if I was in your position. For me, one of the main ways I deal with having to talk in front of people is practice. I've had to do presentations before to groups of people I don't know very well, and it always leaves me feeling a sense of dread. I usually practice on my own, then in front of people I trust, and I'll do this as many times as it takes for me to feel like I know what I'm saying. The fear is still there, but it manages the fear a little bit more for me. Is this something you could try, maybe with family or friends?

The biggest piece of advice I can give you though, is to let yourself know that it's okay to reach your limit. It's okay to feel stressed and to not deal well with the amount of pressure you have on you. It's okay to be anxious and scared, and it's okay to give yourself a break when you feel overwhelmed. You have a lot to do right now, so sometimes caring for yourself can take a back seat. Try to allocate a bit of time each day to just being. Before you go to bed, try and stay away from screens for half an hour and try to give your brain time to wind down. Maybe get yourself a colouring book and colour for a bit, or read a book which helps pick you up. It's important to give your mind rest, even when it feels like there isn't the time. You could also try breathing exercises, which are a really good way to focus your mind and relax your body. Try closing your eyes, sitting or laying in a comfortable spot, and just counting in your breaths, and counting out your breaths. This is a really useful thing for just before bed, and something I do whenever I feel panicky or can't sleep because my head won't let me. It might just help when you need those coping skills to get you through a bad patch.

I hope some of this helps you a little bit. Good luck with your finals and your speeches. I hope they go really well for you, and I hope you find the time to give yourself the break you deserve.