Is it anxiety?

[PlutoTheOpposum]

Is it normal to be really nervous in groups? I'm absolutely terrified that people will judge me. I'm also really nervous at home, too for whatever reason. I'm constantly scared someone will find out my secrets, find my vent drawings, find this website, etc.

AAAAh is this normal?

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hello,

Yes it is normal to be nervous in big or small groups or around people who you do not know or you have never been to this place before. This is a normal feeling to have. Everyone feels this from time to time. When you have to go to places like this, try to wear your favorite pair of shoes or shirt or something else that can help calm you down. Also when you are talking, you can just try talking to them for a few minutes and see how this goes and try a little bit longer next time. You just say what you have been going through and listen to everyone else and the people who are running this. You can even bring a notebook and read something that you wrote down that you would like to tell them. I wish you the best with this and hope that this goes well for you.

[Panda Solo]

Hello there,

To answer your question, yes, it is normal to feel anxious occasionally when you are in a group where you may or may not know all the people. And I really want to assure you that almost everyone in a group will feel somewhat the same, but they choose to react differently. You could first start with going to a group with some close friends, and observe other people’s reactions to see if they are really observing you or judging you. In most cases, people will glance at you when you first arrive, then they will get on their own business pretty soon. A good way to de-anxious in a group is to focus on the fun and interesting parts of the event.
If someone in the group is really rude and actually judges you, don’t worry, it is the wonderful and scarce moment for you to practice “I don’t care about how you judge me, and why you judge me; my value will not be degraded by others’ judgement and no one can ruin my day! ”

Secondly, it is also normal for us to feel anxious for others to find out our secrets. Sometimes secrets are what we value so much that we hide them from other people including close ones, because we feel not ready yet or not necessary to share them with others at current moments. If you fear what they might say or do to you, you could talk to them about want to have your own space and secrets respected. You don’t have to share your secrets with anyone if you don’t want to, but we need to consider the situation when our close family members are simply worried about us being in a alienated and dangerous situation; in this case, you could talk to them vaguely about what you are doing, like “ I am talking with my peers on an anonymous website where we help each other and share our life experiences “, and clearly express your opinion that you want your own space and independence respected.

I hope you find peace and assurance soon.