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Anxiety This forum is for seeking advice on anxiety and stress related issues.

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FuturesEnd45 Offline
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Question Loud?! - April 27th 2012, 08:24 AM

When i get anxious my mom says i yell, but i dont feel like i am at all. Its pretty fustrating because shell get offended even tough i tell her its probably my voice changing due to anxiety. Shell tell me that oh we all think your rude for yelling. And her being mad just makes me more upset because she knows im not yelling intentionally.

Does anyone else have a problem controlling their voice or actions when anxious? What do you do?
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EmisaurusRex Offline
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Re: Loud?! - April 27th 2012, 09:38 PM

Hi there Lea.

I think that different people have different definitions of what constitutes "yelling." You may just be raising your voice or your tone might change, and your mom may see that as yelling, based on what her definition of yelling is. Perhaps you could talk to her (when this isn't occurring) and let her know that you don't realize that it is happening when it does, and that you don't mean to come across as rude. Maybe you could try explaining to her a little bit about what kind of gets you to that point of anxiety and tell her what she can do to help you (like not getting upset with you, but instead, remaining calm.)

As far as what you might be able to do to help yourself in these situations... Whenever I'm upset, sometimes I do get to a place where I'm not very aware of how I'm coming across. When I'm feeling anxious or upset, I try to identify what has caused that feeling, and from there If I can remove myself from that situation, I do. If I can't, then I try taking deep breathes or doing something that helps me put my focus elsewhere (like finding all the blue objects in the room.) If I'm around people, I might just excuse myself to a place that I can kind of get myself calmed down. That's what has helped me be more aware of what I'm feeling, but everyone is different. Maybe you could carry around a small notepad with you, and if you start feeling anxious, you could write about it? Getting it out on paper might be helpful for you.

Those are just a few ideas. I hope this has been helpful, and if there's anything else I can do, let me know. Hang in there, Lea!

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