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Anxiety This forum is for seeking advice on anxiety and stress related issues.

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Lizzie9597 Offline
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Can someone please help - April 7th 2014, 08:23 AM

Hi everyone. I'm going through a really tough time in my relationship. Today my boyfriend told me he's sick of us fighting a lot, that I get upset easily and last night when I stayed over, I was really quite mean. I've been stressed out lately and I didn't realize it at the time but he's been getting the brunt of it. Today he simply seemed fed up and told me he wanted to be alone. I asked him if he wanted to break up and he said 'I dont know.' He said he still loves me and wants to be with me but he needs a couple of days without contact to think.

I have anxiety and I drove home a few hours ago to my sharehouse and I've been in my room for about 5 hours. I can't stop crying, my heart is beating heavy and fast, I can't draw in enough breath when I breathe and I honestly feel like I am going to lose control and die or implode or something. I am so unbelievably anxious and sad I don't know what to do. I am so lonely. My parents moved to Melbourne a couple of months ago and my friends are in the middle of assignments so I can't ask them, plus I just can't stand the thought of them seeing me this way.

I can't stop crying and breathing rapidly. I feel like I might faint. Does anyone ever get to that brink where you feel so out of control that you might die? I know its irrational.

Please someone help me, I can't go on like this. I'm sorry for the long message.
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cynefin Offline
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Re: Can someone please help - April 7th 2014, 03:12 PM

to TH! And don't be sorry, we'd love to help you out!

Do you think that you could explain that you have been stressed out to your boyfriend if he doesn't already know? It's hard to keep something inside in a relationship; it hinders the ability to work as a team. I really think that you should consider telling him that you are struggling and possibly ask him for his support if you'd like.

I know that it has been several hours since you have posted this, and I hope that you ended up okay. When you're crying or when you are anxious like that, the best thing to do is try to catch your breath and breathe slowly. Inhale through your nose, and exhale through your mouth to help calm yourself down. You can also breathe through a brown paper bag if you believe you are hyperventilating. Do you have a stress ball or something that you can hold to help you feel secure? Some people like to lie in bed and keep the blanket over themselves to feel safe. There is also such thing as aromatherapy, and the scent of lavender is supposed to be very calming. Purchasing some perfume or lotion might benefit you! Lastly, try some nature sounds. You can find them on YouTube and you can also download them to an electronic device.

I can understand your choice of not wanting to confide in your parents. However, I think that you should find someone you trust to talk to about what is going on. Do you have counselors at your school? If so, you could schedule an appointment to speak to one of them.

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