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Anxiety This forum is for seeking advice on anxiety and stress related issues.

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crisco1 Offline
Not a n00b
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Name: Cassie
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Livin' in a small town world

Posts: 51
Join Date: February 3rd 2014

Every time.... - August 6th 2014, 08:34 PM

This probably sounds really dumb, but I suffer from seperation anxiety, and my boyfriend left for an overnight trip and now I'm consumed with worry that something bad is going to happen. (as I do every time he goes away for a night or longer)

The thing is, he gave me the key to his apartment because he know's that being there helps me cope a little better with my anxiety but since he's a hall director on a campus, he wants me to leave tonight because it's against policy for a girl to stay over. I want to respect that and all and I said I would, but we just started falling that rule, and I really just want to stay for peace of mind. Like I'll worry here but I'll be able to sleep and I won't have as many thoughts of cutting and stuff as if I were to stay at my apartment.

I texted him and told him that I was having a rough day and would appreciate if I could call later, to which he hasn't responded yet, which obviously increases my anxiety. I want to just call him and talk, but last trip that happened, we ended up almost breaking up and we've been doing so much better that I don't want us to backslide.

I just, I always feel so distraught when he's away. And my worries never stop. I really just want to stay at his place for the night until he gets back tomorrow afternoon. I know it's dumb that I don't feel like I can leave for like 10 hours (I have to be out at midnight and I come back at 10) but I have made it to the point where I feel okay to do that.
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Philomath Offline
Love is > your mistakes
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Name: Christina
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Re: Every time.... - September 6th 2014, 02:38 PM

Hi Cassie,
This does not sound dumb at all.
Would it be possible for you to stay with another friend during this time or to have a friend that would be willing to spend time with you during the day or stay over at your place at ngiht to keep you company and make sure you are safe?
It also could help you to call a hotline when you are feeling anxious. Having someone to talk to that does not know who you are could help. The people on the hotlines are trained to help with situations like this and they may know ways you can cope with your anxiety.
Are you currently seeing a counselor or therapist for your anxiety? If so, you should ask them what to do about this situation. You probably are not the first person they have see that struggles with this.
I know that the following link I am going to give you is a link to alternatives for self harm but I think ti could help you when you get anxious and want to cut. Alternatives to Self Harm thread
These alternatives are great and you can be creative with them. You will probably find quite a few of them helpful and if you at first do not find any of them helpful, keep browsing the list because something there will most likely be useful/something you enjoy/something you can focus on.
Hopefully this is helpful and that you can get more help.
It is great your boyfriend is really supportive, keep communicating with him about these things and let him help you.
Take care and you can PM me if you ever would like someone to talk to.

"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
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