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Anxiety This forum is for seeking advice on anxiety and stress related issues.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
itsF Offline
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I don't know what to title it.. - January 9th 2016, 11:22 PM

I'm a 14 coming on 15 year old male. I don't misbehave in school and my grades are okay. I'm fine where I live everything from the outside looks good.

But for me it really isn't.

I have lots of goals and ambitions. But for some reason I struggle doing them and it's not anything stopping me my current goals are fully in reach of me.
But I don't do any of them because I don't want peoples opinion to change of me, but these goals will only make people think better of me.
For example, I need to tidy my room. But if I do that my mum will be like "Oh MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS THANK THE LORD HE'S DONE IT HE'S A CHANGED MAN" and I just don't want that to happen.
I just really want to get on with what I need to do without being questioned or harassed about it. But I can't because people think so lowly of me with my cleanliness (of my surroundings), my social activity, my physical activity, that whenever I do something that changes one of them, like cleaning my room, every loses there minds.

I wake up every morning at 6am with a mindset of getting ready and making myself breakfast. But my mum is so used to me waking up at 8:00 to get to school 25 minutes later that I lay in bed, fully awake til 8 before I actually move because if I get up she will just be so happy that she just makes me angry.

It's just me getting judged in a good way but I don't like it. I just want to get on with what I want to do and no one to question it or speak about it. I just want them to act like it's normal.

How do I solve this?
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Celyn Offline
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Jeez, get a life!
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Re: I don't know what to title it.. - January 10th 2016, 10:33 AM

Hey there,

Believe it or not, I have a similar problem!

I don't have any social life at all, so the rare occasion when I do go out everyone looks at me like *GASP* "You're going out?!" When in reality, going out may be considered 'normal' for everyone else, but because I don't do it, it seems to be a shock to everyone else when I do go out.

I think the way to treat this is to either embrace or ignore other people's reactions. You can embrace it, so if they start making comments, you can tell them that you just fancied getting up earlier or whatever. Or you can choose to ignore any comments. It's hard and you'll still feel angry, but once it's happened a few times, it won't be a 'surprise' anymore and the novelty of you doing something different will wear off. You could also ask your mum not to make a fuss over it, because you don't like fuss.

Whatever happens, don't let your mum or anyone else's comments stop you from doing what you want to do.

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Notsure Offline
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Re: I don't know what to title it.. - January 10th 2016, 04:41 PM

I am the same.

I agree with DutchWelshWolf. I think i would find ignoring them the best though haha.

If it is holding you back quite a bit, i would suggest using DutchWelshWolf's advice quite soon. I know i will try to too haha.
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