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Anxiety This forum is for seeking advice on anxiety and stress related issues.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Zemie Offline
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I feel like I'm trapped in my head? - January 27th 2016, 02:19 AM

I think this is an anxiety thing, I'm not sure but i dont now what else it could be. Anyway so I have this issue with people, like strangers and even my friends. My brain gets stuck, like I'll be hanging out with my friend or friends and like I want to talk and have a good time, but it's like my brain just isnt working. Like I can't think of things to say and sometimes if I do say things they come out quietly or the words come out weird. It happens with texting too, like sometimes everything i can think to say just sounds weird.

But like sometimes this doesnt happen, like it is just like I am able to speak and like things I say make sense and it's like my brain is working. And it's awesome like I feel alive and like a real normal person.

But like the thing is now I get so stressed when I have to hang out with my friends, like I obsess over whether itll be a 'good' or 'bad' day, like afterwords will i be happy because it was so much fun or like afterwards will i feel horrible because i was so boring and my friend wont want to hang out with me again or talk to me?

these are some of my observations about this problem:
I've thought it's maybe because im tired because sometimes I've found caffeine makes it better, but other times it makes it worse. Another theory I have is that it's like I wake up during the wrong part of a sleep cycle or soemthing and it just throws me off for the day? Another theory I have of what it could be is like nervousness combined with low self esteem, like I get nervous because I want my friends to like me, but I also feel like I am stupid and what I have to say is stupid, so i get so worried about this I can't think at all. But sometimes this doesnt happen so I dont know whats up with that. I also somehow got it in my head that harming myself would make me able to talk, because it think coincidently I had been having a bad week of feeling stuck in my head and i cut myself, and then it was gone the next day and i could talk and it was great. I tried this again last night and I dont know, ill see if that works. But reguardless thats not a good way to handle it and it wouldnt make sense. Ive smoked weed like maybe 5 times in my entire life and when I was high around my friends once and I didn't have this problem, but I still had it around a different group of friends when I was high other times so i dont know. I'm also very short, like 5'3, and talking to tall people is worse for me, or people who i want to like me. Like the people I have the best time around when i feel normal I have it the worst when I feel stuck in my head.

Sorry that was a rambly mess, but yeah anyway I feel like lately it's getting worse, I think it might be because im back at college after winter break so I like havent seen my friends in a while, but I dont know. Does anyone know what could be causing this or like any advice for how to fix it?
   
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Re: I feel like I'm trapped in my head? - February 2nd 2016, 08:58 PM

Hey there,

Anxiety and low self-esteem can definitely cause you to not be able to think of what to say or words coming out wrong. It also makes it worse if you obsess over the issue, because you become more aware of what you are saying and this may cause you to be more quiet as you may become too worried about what you are going to say. However, as you have noticed, other things can affect you too.

First of all, try to relax as worrying about it, is just going to make you feel worse. Do you notice yourself becoming anxious in conversations? Maybe you notice that your breathing gets faster, or you feel 'butterflies' in your stomach or feel a bit shaky or sweaty. These are all physical signs of anxiety. Being able to calm down, perhaps by doing breathing exercises will allow you to focus on the conversation at hand. Also, remind yourself that this isn't your fault. I'm sure that whatever you say, or don't say, wont mean that your friends will think negatively of you.

Harming yourself wont work. Harming yourself is an unhealthy coping mechanism, where you feel temporarily better whilst damaging yourself. It's important that you stop harming yourself before you lose control of the situation. You can check out this for alternative to self-harm. The same can be said for using weed too.

Sometimes, we just have bad days and words don't come out right, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. It makes sense that going back to college may make you feel more self-conscious as you haven't seen your friends much. Try to remember your positive qualities to help boost your self-esteem. Remind yourself on a daily basis about your talents, personality or achievements, and do this when you feel less confident.

Lastly, if things don't improve for you, it might be worthwhile talking to a counsellor.

Hope this helped a bit!


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Re: I feel like I'm trapped in my head? - February 6th 2016, 07:57 PM

Thank you for your response
It's been getting better lately but I dont know if it will stay this way or get bad again. I feel like it is just I have bad days but there's just like so many and it bothers me that I can't control it.
I think you're right about thinking about my own positive qualities helping this problem. Like if I am just going into a social situation worrying about how I'm an idiot and everyone is better at talking than me like that helps no one.
   
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