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Anxiety This forum is for seeking advice on anxiety and stress related issues.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Chaotic_ Offline
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I Just Need To Vent - January 17th 2017, 05:43 PM

So, first I was supposed to have my counseling appointment yesterday, but due to some form of stomach bug, I was unable to attend. I called, and they never answered so I left a voicemail stating that I was unable to come in and would need to reschedule and gave them my number to call me back. It's been a day and a half and they still haven't called me back. This is a huge trigger to my anxiety. Like I need to be in counseling, and I feel like this office just doesn't care enough.

I literally just feel like a number to them. When I go in, it's just not the most personable in the world. Most of my other counselors in the past have at least been empathetic and told me a bit about them. This guy hasn't, he's literally made it all about me (which is how it should be most of the time), but I know nothing about him. Except his name. Like it doesn't really sit well with me.

Plus, I haven't been able to open up about the depression aspect and he tells me I'm guarded. I'm good at writing and e-mailing but that's not allowed either.

So I guess I'm super frustrated about this and I don't know what to do. I wanted to give him more chances, since I've only seen him twice. But at this point, I just don't know.... I'm really bad at making phone calls, so calling again to try to reschedule has been giving me anxiety.

Any advice?
   
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Re: I Just Need To Vent - January 17th 2017, 06:11 PM

Hi Cass,

I'm sorry you had to miss your appointment due to being sick and that they haven't gotten back with you about rescheduling. That's got to be really frustrating, especially with your anxiety. Canceling something you had planned can be super frustrating in itself because you made this plan and you know it's something that you need and want to do.

I know you don't want to call back and that calling gives you even more anxiety, but I feel like the longer you wait the more worse you're going to feel. You need to call and try again. Maybe it would help if you kind of wrote out a guide for you to say when you do call - plan everything you want to say so you make sure that you get everything in and know what you're saying. Sometimes that really helps me when I have to make important phone calls that are difficult and not at all fun.

In regards to your counselor, with only being two sessions in I feel like there is still a lot of room for you to get to know him, but if you feel like it's not a good fit you can always try to find a different office to go to. I've had a counselor before who after two sessions I knew I didn't like him or talking to him so I switched and I've been with my current one since. Despite this, you have to be the one to decide if you want to go forward. If you do I think you should bring up your concerns with him. Tell him that you feel like he's not very personable and that makes it hard for you to discuss things with him. In regards to opening up about your depression that might take some time. It took me quite a few sessions to get to the more important and serious matters. My counselor didn't know I was suicidal until a lot later and I didn't share certain things with her until I knew I was comfortable with her. Maybe you can let your counselor know that you don't feel comfortable telling him certain things until you get more use to him. And again, if it is hard for you to get this out during your sessions maybe you can plan the things you want to say before hand and kind of go in with it on paper so it's easier for you.

Again, I'm really sorry that your appointment and the office hasn't called you back. I hope that you're able to get a hold of them soon and are able to find a new appointment time. Good luck! If you ever want to talk - my inbox is always open as well!


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Re: I Just Need To Vent - January 17th 2017, 11:11 PM

Hi Cass,

First of all, I've moved this to the Anxiety forum which is a sub-forum to Mental Health. I think it would fit here better

I'm sorry that you were feeling sick, I hope that you're feeling better! I definitely understand how calling them can trigger your anxiety. Are you able to e-mail them? I know you said that you can't but maybe explain to them that it would help you a lot more if you could. When I was in counseling I was able to email my counselor if I needed to cancel or re-book because of how bad my anxiety gets, so maybe it would work for you?

I've always had a hard time opening up to male counselors. Maybe you should consider getting a female one? Do your parents know about your anxiety and that you're trying to open up with a counselor? Maybe then they could call for you.

I hope this helps, and I hope you feel better soon!

Stay strong,
Brittany



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Re: I Just Need To Vent - January 17th 2017, 11:42 PM

If you really don't like the counselor or the place he works, then it's perfectly okay to start looking for another one. Finding, and scheduling with a new person/place can take awhile anyway. I personally think 2-3 sessions is enough to know if you just can't work with someone, or if the issue you have with them can possibly be worked out. I have really bad phone anxiety too, it took me months to finally call, and said phone call didn't go amazingly well either. I like the staff and the person I see, but if she keeps pushing social work on me (as a career for myself), I'm going to bring it up because it's getting on my nerves, and I don't think it's possible for me, even if she thinks it is. So far that's the only thing that's an issue after two sessions, so not something I would stop seeing her for. Anyway, I always write out at least some of what I want to say and gather anything I know I might need like my insurance card ahead of time. It seems to be the first call that gets me. It's almost never as bad as I work up in my head and once I do it one or two times, I'm fine with that specific person or place. You can ask your parents to do it, but since you're an adult, they may not be allowed to handle it for you, even if they agreed to do it.


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Re: I Just Need To Vent - January 18th 2017, 12:49 AM

Hi guys,

Thank you so much for your support, I was actually able to call and get an appointment for today. :P

But this brings a whole new host of worries for me.
It was by far one of my better counseling appointments, as he actually wanted to know how he could do better, and explained his shortcomings as a counselor to me, which I felt was really genuine.

He asked if I would be comfortable e-mailing him throughout the week of stuff I want to chat about during my next appointment. Which I agreed to because I told him that I always have a lot to talk about (anxiety/depression/SH wise). So, I left feeling good, feeling like things will get accomplished and then I realized I didn't ask for his e-mail. And it's not on their website because they have a no e-mail policy, unless your counselor sets it up with you. So I'm pretty bummed that now I can't e-mail/get a hold of him for the next two weeks.

:/
   
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Re: I Just Need To Vent - January 18th 2017, 01:22 AM

I'm glad you were able to meet with him and work something out! The Email situation sounds good, but unfortunate that you didn't get it - I know you might not want to call him but is there anyway that you can try to call and ask for it? Again I know that is hard for you too so it is up to you if you want to do that.

You could also just do draft emails and save them from these next two weeks, print them, and bring them to your next appointment as well. I really think the email thing will be helpful for you, especially since it's easier to write for you. I email my counselor with things too and then I don;t have to go through the process of talking about it again because all the details are right there in the email. She even prints them out for us to use during our sessions.


"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
   
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