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Anxiety This forum is for seeking advice on anxiety and stress related issues.

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ToyBox Offline
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Help - March 3rd 2010, 01:05 PM

I'm feeling so low, I've not left my house in 4 days now, skipping school to lie in my room chain smoking and doing art...

I hate going to school or even walking down the street, it send shivers and great panic into me when people look at me, I've always had this. I fear I'm going insane. I talk to myself I have always done so, but it's getting increasingly bad as now it breeching into public eye when I'm walking or I think its happening. I already go to adolescent phsycologist but I don't want to talk to her as she tells my parents bout me which I hate. I don't trust my parents, they laugh at me or did when i was little now they are divorced. Like my Gran beat me this one time and I came running to them crying and the laughed. I told my brother about these things but I regret it as dont trust him aswell. I can't seem to function around people, on the capacity they do. I'm totally incable of having a normal conversation with people. When I'm around people I go auto pilot I have no control what I'm going to say. But if i think about it I stare into the distance and don't respond until the conversations over, and of course I look like a case head.

I can't study, for my exams I just can't I'm to pre-occupied by my thoughts of insanity and lingering depression, i just feel like I'm not ready for the world. I'm supposed to be going to university but in one of the interviews I said nothing I just sat and went yeah its great to every answer. I want to go but can't I feel limited by myself. Even suicide has clouded my mind, allthough seriously considering it, I dont think I could, too much to see. But I feel fragmented and confused about where I'm going in life because thi is the tipping point where I'm at. I have to choose a road but I can't. I'm going to plow into the intersection wall, because I'm too busy thinking about things. I feel I'm typing this too get it out of my system a bit allthough it's just re-affirming it grip on me, and reminding me of things in the past. I can't seem to move on, allthough I accept the things that happened is there some intermediate stage to feeeling balanced emotionally? I feel I need to discuss this, with anyone apart from myself.


I was listening to it on mute...
   
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Re: Help - March 3rd 2010, 09:11 PM

Hey there,
Sorry to hear you are going through a rough time. Life comes at us fast sometimes but all you need to do is slow it down and take things at your pace. I think you should keep talking to your phycologist and let her know how you feel. She can't read your mind so unless she knows what's going on, she won't be able to accurately help you. There is lots of treatment for anxiety and depression, you just have to reach out and ask. I know how hard it is to live like this but you will feel better. Also, maybe call up the university and tell them what happened on the phone. I'm sure they'll be understanding and maybe give you a written interview or something to make it easier for you. Remember, it's ok to reach out and tell people what's going on. Asking for help is a sign of strength. It doesn't always have to be your parents. It can be your phycologist, a family member, friend, etc. I know you can through this. Keep your head up.
Stay strong,

Alessa


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