Help please!

[CANDLEJA-]

What does everyone do to calm themselves down and stay anxiety free?
I need advice, because I refuse to let my anxiety ruin my relationship, and it's hard because it makes me paranoid and stuff.
So what is some advice that can help me not be so paranoid about silly things, and keep away my anxiety?

[jelli1224]

Well i suffer from anxiety a lot. In fact for the most part it is a big part of my life. But what i tend to do if i really need to calm down, is take some breaths, read a bok(It feels like your somewhere else) or even running. Sometimes getting away from the problem can really calm you down. I have some more tips and tricks too and so if you want some more info please PM me!

[CANDLEJA-]

It's such a burden I will definitely try those things though.
Have you ever noticed it making you really paranoid in relationships, or is that something different?
Like, how do you trust someone?

[emoticon]

Originally Posted by CANDLEJA-

It's such a burden I will definitely try those things though.
Have you ever noticed it making you really paranoid in relationships, or is that something different?
Like, how do you trust someone?

YES! i was in a relationship with a girl who had cheated on people in the past and boy did it make me so paranoid to know that little fact about her. even though i had grown up with this girl, and we;ve been through hell and back, and even though she promised she would never cheat on me. i still could not get the thought out my mind that she would cheat on me. however the more i pushed my paranoia away by just throwing caution to the wind, the more my paranoia went away. i just had to keep on reminding myself that i'm not those people, that this is OUR relationship. etc, etc. it takes work but i'm sure the longer your in the relationship the more comfortable you'll be and more you'll see your paranoia disappear. also i find that if i take a step back and try to talk myself out of my paranioa, that i'm usually successful.

[CANDLEJA-]

thanks so much for that Michelle! that's exactly what I was looking for you've helped a lot!

[Thirteen]

As Michelle said, eventually it gets easier. I mean, I'm always paranoid with my relationships, and I never fully stopped. It just lessened over time.

Like, I'm in a long-distance relationship right now, and when I don't hear from him right away when I text, I get worried that he's been injured, or he's off with some other girl, or his friends are trying to set him up on a date... I go through it all in my head. One time I didn't hear from him for a few hours, I started crying thinking he could've been in a bad car accident. His parent's van had been acting up lately which made it worse.

Meanwhile, when I had been dating a fellow for over 3 years, I didn't worry so easily by the 2nd and 3rd years. We were together alot, and I'd only worry when he was out running a simple errand, and it took too long. Like, going down to pick his mother up a pack of cigarettes and taking half an hour when it should only take 5 minutes. That happened once, and turned out that a mutual friend of ours had taken acid and was tripping out on her own.

But anyways, so point is, it takes time, but it does get easier. Maybe to distract your mind from anxious thoughts, try things like, painting, drawing, crafting, etc.? Heck, work on tattoo designs maybe?

[CANDLEJA-]

That sounds exactly like me Julz lol. I get all worked up over the simplest of things. It seems to be getting better lately though. I just get worried when he says he wants to go out and drink and I can't go, because the friends he used to hang out with were COMPLETE DOUCHEBAGS. ARGH. LOL anyways, that's when I really get upset. But since then he's realized the douchey ness that his old friends were, and found new ones that don't just get high on hard drugs and drink all the time
Yaaay!
So things are starting to look up thanks for the advice though! I definitely will try those things, I'm not the best painter or drawer, but writing would probably help too

[Lizzie]

Originally Posted by CANDLEJA-

It's such a burden I will definitely try those things though.
Have you ever noticed it making you really paranoid in relationships, or is that something different?
Like, how do you trust someone?

I have been diagnosed with GAD for about a year now. And it is really hard to be in relationships and not over think every little detail. Basically you just have to remind yourself over and over again that they have not disserved your distrust and you would not want them to distrust you for no real reason. I also have to talk myself out of a lot of things that I think. Like say someone is late, I automatically start assuming something terrible has happened like they got in a car crash and they are seriously injured, or even worse, dead. But then I have to stop and tell myself that is highly unlikely and its most likely traffic. I know it doesn’t sound fun to have to put effort into calming yourself down. But once you do, you feel slightly better.

[Spellbound]

It is so easy to worry about everything. Me, I think of the worst that could happen in every situation, which I really want to stop doing. It's difficult to see the positive, though, when seeing the negative is so much easier for me. I over-analyze everything, until I can't take my thoughts anymore and I don't know what to do with myself.
After a while, the anxiety subsides, but it's hard to wait it out. What I do is I just breathe. I put my energy into reading, or writing in a journal, or even getting on the computer to take my mind off of things. Funny movies and TV shows really help as well.
I know for a fact that when I'm anxious and worrying about everything, that I really don't think that anything will help me. But I prove myself wrong every time when I do something that will take my mind off of it.
Good luck.

[Quartet]

Try going to this website: http://www.ilovepanicvideos.com/videofire.php
This guy has a few really helpful tips in video orm, but he also has a CD that's really helpful too.

-I hope it helps in some ways, it's been slowly helping me.

[KoKoEm]

I talk to my best friend, throw a tennis ball, and try to focus my mind on something else. The easiest one to be able to do is throwing the tennis ball, I stay inside and throw it at the walls. Usually it takes a mix of those for me to be able to calm down though. Mostly it takes talking to my best friend but I have to distract myself until I can do that most of the time, so I usually start out throwing the ball until I can call him.

[CANDLEJA-]

Ahhh I'm so glad that there are people I can talk to that actually can relate to me and understand what I'm feeling, that alone makes me feel better, and the tips you guys give me are great I'm starting to improve a bit actually, and I'm learning to accept that I cannot control everything, and things just happen as they are supposed to, and that I cannot fight the inevitable so I just have to let things happen.
You guys, and TH in general has definitely helped more than I can say! It's nice knowing I can talk and vent about things to people who understand what I'm going through, and I'll get feedback besides the cliche "ahh that sucks" that I get a lot lol.
Thanks everyone!

[Darrenboy!]

hello devin.

I know i'm not one of the people who posted below but i'm glad that everything's getting better. and just a tip: sometimes if you feel stressed out or there's something on your mind, simple things like maybe, just reading a good book you know you like or just chilling out and doing something you like.

and just remember that you are always, always welcome to tell us anything

caring always.