Triggering: I need some help :/

[Alexx]

(I've put the Trigger thing on as the topic of Cancer and illness can be upsetting.)

My anxiety over the past year has just gotten so worse.. I don't know what to do about it. Some days I won't leave the house because I feel so worried or paranoid about myself, or anything really.

My anxiety also largely revolves around my mum. She had cancer a couple of years ago, and while it's in remission, she'll never be fully healed. However, I'm just always worried about her. Some days I won't go out because I don't want to leave her alone. I don't really have a proper reason for not wanting to leave her alone, I just want to be there. If she goes out of the house I get worried she's going to die, and it can be really upsetting and I get tearful.

I'm also worrying about germs more, and sometimes showing signs of OCD (for example, I have to clean my cup otherwise something bad will happen). I can usually ignore this but sometimes I can't.

I just don't know what to do. I'm so nervous about going to college next year because I can't fail another year. But I get so worked up leaving the house :/

What do I do? I'm so sorry this is long. I appreciate it if you've read it. Thanks.

[phoenixsrmc]

Hey Alex,

Have you talked to someone about this? If you haven't, I think it's best you do. If not your family or your mum, maybe a school counselor or a trusted teacher. I was just like you when I was your age and was terrified of talking to someone. However, with the support I got from my trusted friends and faculty members, I was able to talk to my school counselor. You can too. Talking to a professional can help you and figure out what's best for you in this situation.

I'm glad that you're coming here for help and that you recognize your situation and trying to fix it. It's a big step forward

[Susurrous]

The best thing you could have right now is a friend. Someone to listen to you, and maybe not even give you advice. Just someone you can vent to. Even though I am a stranger, you can still confide in me.

People always evolve. Every day, we change. This change in her body is simply another phase, but whether she had cancer or not she could never return to her old body. None of us can. Energy never dies, and is always being stored in different particles in different forms. My point is that wishing for her to be healthy and fully healed will get you nowhere. You can't freeze time, and when you accept that as a natural fact of life, the process of cancer can seem much easier. You will both end up in the same place anyways.

I would also suggest talking to a professional, and medication or talking therapy would both help visibly reduce these OCD symptoms. Even in college there are people who can help, so don't feel like you are alone. I hope your anxiety gets better Alexx, really, you seem like an awesome person.