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Anxiety This forum is for seeking advice on anxiety and stress related issues.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Lala-Dream Offline
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Lala's Obsession: Michael Jackson [PLEASE HELP IT'S SERIOUS] - January 10th 2011, 11:16 AM

One of my biggest fears in all of this is simple. I donít want to be classified as a creep, a stalker, or a weirdo.

I don't want to be diagnosed as insane, even though I feel like this is slowly driving me insane.

Hi I'm Lala (16 yrs old) and I'm terribly obsessed with Michael Jackson and the entire Jackson family (Mainly Michael + his 3 kids & a few of their cousins). It's beginning taking over my life

I understand that this love and fascination is strange. I'm reminded of that ever day. But it's something that i'm dealing with now and I cannot ignore it.

I donít feel like I have control of ANY of this. In fact, I've realized that I have ZERO control. Yes, it would be quite simple to destroy my computer (my window into their world) and walk away from it allÖ.but right now my computer is the only thing that keeps me company now that my anxiety has gotten so bad that I can't go to school :/ (But that's a whole different story in its self.)

But back to the topic at hand, everything I do, I do out of pure innocence and admiration for these children and their father. I donít wish to hurt them at all! I donít wish to find pictures of them and (excuse my French) MASTURBATE to them or anything. Itís not like that at all! I only want to see them, hear their voices, and feel for just a SECOND that Iím somewhat closer to them...and feel that I'm somehow WITH them. Sick, right?

I feel like I was supposed to be in their family but something went terribly wrong and God forgot to put me in their lives by mistake..

They're all I feel like I have left of Michael Jackson despite all his music and his legacy. I feel like his kids are his legacy. It's NEVER been about the music when it came to the reason why I loved Michael so much. It was much deeper than that. The way he touched my life and brought such magic, it's almost as if he were superhuman...god-like. I feel like God put him here for people like me who are missing something in their lives...

Thats why I feel like it's my RIGHT to know what goes on in his kids lives even if it means invading their privacy :/ (I've hacked them several times unfortunately )

Yes, the paparazzi pictures are nice.

But I want to see them on a more personal level. I want to see them interact with each other and make silly faces at the camera while playing around on Photo Booth.

I don't want to see the children they become once they're in public with their poker faces on. I want to see them in a normal setting doing normal things, living a normal life.

God, this is so fucking hard to explain. I'm trying though. I'm really trying.

Is there anyone out there who can relate to this? Is there anyone one out there who can diagnose this? I don't even know what I'm dealing with. I know it seems like an obsession but it feels more serious than that.

There have been days when I just wanted to kill myself because I felt my life was USELESS without having MJ's kids in my life

I feel sick -__-
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Re: Lala's Obsession: Michael Jackson [PLEASE HELP IT'S SERIOUS] - January 11th 2011, 12:24 AM

Hey,

Okay I am not quite sure what to say but I will take a shot at it. I like MJ too but I don't think it is to the extent that you do. I like seeing pics of him and his kids too and finding out how they have been doing is nice as well. I think MJ was a genious and a very special person not just to the music world but to the normal world. How kind and caring he was has inspired me to be a better person. I do not think we will ever have another person like him. His music is phenominal as well and always cheers me up when I am upset. Taylor Swift and MJ are my favorite musicans of all time.

Anyhow that was me, this is supposed to be about you. It is okay to like the Jacksons, they are like any other celeb. They are great people and I understand how you'd like them and wish you had known them. I understand that you also mean well and are doing this for good and not bad. That is okay too. But the thing that worried me a little while reading your post was that you feel you need to know what is going on with the children and you have hacked them before. That part is not so good. We need to give the family privacy. We do not know them personally, they do not know us. If something gets out and we read it in a magazine, okay that is one thing. Trying to find out on your own by getting into their stuff, is not okay. Many would not realise that you are trying to do good in that sense. Celebs have people that are over obsessed to the extreme following them all the time and trying to get into their private stuff. Having to live with that everyday of their lives is what I imagine part of the reason why some of them get into drugs or drinking. Its overwelming and it must be very scary for them as well. With this said, we do not want to scare the kids or his family by hacking them or doing anything like that to that extent. They have the right to keep their lives private. It is not our place to search for details about it. They will come out with the things they want on their own time. Its great that you care so much about them but there needs to be boundaries. Hope this helps=)


   
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Re: Lala's Obsession: Michael Jackson [PLEASE HELP IT'S SERIOUS] - January 11th 2011, 06:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by minniemouseprincess View Post
Hey,

Okay I am not quite sure what to say but I will take a shot at it. I like MJ too but I don't think it is to the extent that you do. I like seeing pics of him and his kids too and finding out how they have been doing is nice as well. I think MJ was a genious and a very special person not just to the music world but to the normal world. How kind and caring he was has inspired me to be a better person. I do not think we will ever have another person like him. His music is phenominal as well and always cheers me up when I am upset. Taylor Swift and MJ are my favorite musicans of all time.

Anyhow that was me, this is supposed to be about you. It is okay to like the Jacksons, they are like any other celeb. They are great people and I understand how you'd like them and wish you had known them. I understand that you also mean well and are doing this for good and not bad. That is okay too. But the thing that worried me a little while reading your post was that you feel you need to know what is going on with the children and you have hacked them before. That part is not so good. We need to give the family privacy. We do not know them personally, they do not know us. If something gets out and we read it in a magazine, okay that is one thing. Trying to find out on your own by getting into their stuff, is not okay. Many would not realise that you are trying to do good in that sense. Celebs have people that are over obsessed to the extreme following them all the time and trying to get into their private stuff. Having to live with that everyday of their lives is what I imagine part of the reason why some of them get into drugs or drinking. Its overwelming and it must be very scary for them as well. With this said, we do not want to scare the kids or his family by hacking them or doing anything like that to that extent. They have the right to keep their lives private. It is not our place to search for details about it. They will come out with the things they want on their own time. Its great that you care so much about them but there needs to be boundaries. Hope this helps=)
Thanks for replying I think you're right. I'm going to take everything you said to heart<3
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Re: Lala's Obsession: Michael Jackson [PLEASE HELP IT'S SERIOUS] - January 12th 2011, 04:23 AM

You are very welcome=)


   
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Re: Lala's Obsession: Michael Jackson [PLEASE HELP IT'S SERIOUS] - January 12th 2011, 01:20 PM

you mentioned your anxiety being too much for you to be able to go to school lately. I assume you're not able to get out of the house much at all in that case? When you stay inside for so long its easy to disappear into your own world, and it seems you've surrounded yourself with the Jackson family as almost a security blanket. I can see you care about them very much and I realize you don't do this to harm them, but do you ever thing you are harming them by hacking them and invading their privacy? Its okay to care about them but I think you need to distance yourself, which is hard when your anxiety comes into play, but try burying yourself in another project. Stay on th and see how many people you can help, research something else, find a game and challenge yourself to become the best at it. Throw yourself entirely into something else, and it'll slowly fade. Not completely but you'll have a healthier outlook on it.

Good luck.



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Make it your business to start some fires




   
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