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Anxiety This forum is for seeking advice on anxiety and stress related issues.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Exclamation I am a platypus - March 14th 2011, 11:39 AM

Hey. I usually don't get involved with online forums that focus on angsty teenage bullshit and whatnot, but I've become really bored and depressed lately and feel like whining so here I go. I'm 15, have been homeschooled my whole life, and have serious social problems. Let me try to explain. If you saw me at a social gathering, I would be that kid that hangs back in the corner of the room not conversing with anyone except maybe to interject myself into a conversation with some funny joke that leaves everyone in stunned silence at the genius of it (Not really, I'm just awkward and no one gets it.) But most of the time I feel too anxious to even attempt that. Because I don't know what to say and how to act properly in such situations, I instead act indifferent towards everyone by utterly ignoring them, which people really don't dig at all. As a result I have no friends, the few friends I had gave up on me because of my lack of effort to contribute to the friendship. Seriously, Napolean Dynamite's ineptitude in interpersonal dealings doesn't compare to mine. No one will ever want to hang out with me. So uh...how to deal with this? Tips on how to not feel so out of place during social encounters and more myself would be appreciated. No cliche stuff please. [Content edited by Katrina: Users will be more likely to reply to your post if you don't discourage them from doing so by statements such as the one I've edited. I encourage you to instead be receptive and welcoming to those willing to offer support or advice. Thanks.]

Last edited by Katrina; March 14th 2011 at 02:37 PM. Reason: See note.
   
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Re: I am a platypus - March 14th 2011, 12:26 PM

Love yourself. Raise your self esteem. If you don't love yourself, you can't love anyone else. Go up to someone. If someone rejects you, so what. It isn't the end of the world. Practice talking in front of mirrors. Join clubs at school.

Also, just standing in the back of a crowd isn't a bad thing. I'm the same way. I'm not the party person by any means, so if I am at a party, I am at the back. If I see someone who I want to talk to, I start asking them questions such as, what classes are you taking, what movie have you recently seen? Things like that.

I hope this is able to help you get over your anxiety problem. It sucks. I can say that by experience. But you can be able to overcome it.


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Re: I am a platypus - March 14th 2011, 01:41 PM

The above poster is right. Putting yourself out there can really help, even if it seems impossible at first ~ it gets easier. Are there any clubs or anything in your local area for young people that you can join, like sports or drama?? You may find you're less awkward than you think you are; in reality a lot of people feel awkward in social situations and just cover it up a lot of the time. The more you make an effort to really talk to people,the more confident you'll eventually feel.

As a side note, I just want to advise that you may get banned from the site unless you change your profile picture ~ some users may find it triggering.


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Re: I am a platypus - March 14th 2011, 02:47 PM

Hi there.

As I mentioned in my Private Message to you, platypuses are my favorite animal! So welcome to the forums. I certainly hope you find what you're looking for.

Probably the best way to counter these feelings would in fact, as suggested by bitesize and Vibrant both, be to throw yourself into a social situation. I have a few friends who were homeschooled, and they all took parts in groups designed for students being homeschooled entirely for the social aspect. Have you ever been a part of a team? Being a part of a team can TRULY help your social growth, and I imagine it will also be very healthy for you to get out of the house every once in a while. Also, because you're with others who share a common interest with you, its easier to make friends!

Good luck. Let us know how it goes.



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Re: I am a platypus - March 14th 2011, 08:06 PM

Same problem here, I've been homeschooled for five years already, adn to be honest, I like it. In school I was hated and socially akward. At least at home I don't have to deal with it all the time. The thing is, I try to put myself out there once in a while, because I have made a few decent friends. And yet more often I find kids who all know each other from school, and see me as an obnoxious tag along. I've just given up the whole concept of friends. It sometimes bothers me, it sometimes doesn't. I don't need friends to make it through this life. My family doesn't really care either. I've learned not to need socializing to live my life. I will admit though, I've thought about when I'm older, and came to the conclusion that, people suck, Everyone is only friends with you to use you or something from you. Money, social status, or even simple companionship. No matter what they want SOMETHING. No one wants to be my friend simply to be around me, they always want or need something from me. Some people argue that's what friendship is about, and maybe it is, in which case who needs them.

Then again, I'm just a bitter child crying to my mother about my social anxiety.
   
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Re: I am a platypus - March 15th 2011, 12:12 AM

Thanks guys but my problem isn't getting myself into social situations (although I do try to avoid these often nowadays) but rather what to say when I'm in one. I always end up listening and not really contributing at all, which feels weird because I usually have plenty of things to say to my family members and my one close friend, so I know for a fact I'm not vapid or dull. These encounters just seem to bring out the awkwardness in me which I would like to overcome somehow idk I'll figure it out eventually. thanks again, I'll try that practice speaking in mirrors thing.

also cats

Last edited by sUiCiDeIsFuNnYXD; March 15th 2011 at 08:47 AM.
   
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