Anxiety Over Everything...

[Just.A.Girl.]

Hi so I'm 14 years old, and I feel lost. I just don't know how to deal with my constant paranoia and anxiety over everything. I feel constantly left out, and like nobody wants to be near me. Even my best friend puts me down constantly and I get so depressed over it. So here's what's going on:

FRIENDS: I'm really awkward socially, and I make up for it by being sarcastic and making witty comments to everything said, even when I'm insulted. One of my best friends treats me like nothing, making eye rolls and calling me stupid, trying to fix my hair, make me "prettier" and such. One of my other friends stole the boy I liked from me, knowingly. It made me realize he was a jerk, and I'm glad I'm over him, but still, I would never do that to a friend. It seems I'm always the one fetching things from others lockers and walking behind the group because nobody will let me walk next to them. I don't ever tell them either, because I can't risk trying to find new friends, I've already done that.

FAMILY: Recently, my family has been bothering me too much. I cut myself a while back, and they sent me to a therapist because they "had to". They don't think of me as an emotional person, no one does. I'm underappreciated and I just don't like it. I find an increasing hatred for my family as well. I come home early from school and just enjoy the time by myself, and I literally feel sick when they come in the door. My father demands I do work and clean my room, but I just don't want to. My therapist says I have severe ADHD and anxiety, but my parents think he's a joke and don't take him seriously when I'm perscribed medication. I just like being alone and I tell them that when they ask me for "the truth" and they get mad. I don;t know why I don't like being around them, I just don't.

SELF IMAGE: I know I have a low self image. I know I do. I don't like people knowing though.That;s the thing about me nobody takes seriously. I cry out for help, joking with my friends about how "I view myself poorly" and they laugh. Brush it off as a joke. I find myself looking in the mirror, and hating every aspect of the reflection staring back. For once, I want somebody to treat me as their equal, not their shadow.

Help.

[moyshi239]

Hi Auburn,
First off, I just wanted to say welcome to TeenHelp. I hope you find this site useful. I'm also glad you were able to post this. Sometimes asking for advice or support can be helpful.

I'm sorry you're going through a rough time right now. It can be difficult to manage anxiety, especially if you're trying to do it on your own. Are you still seeing the therapist you saw before? If you're not, I would suggest reaching out to a school guidance counsellor or your family doctor to find other resources that can help support you. Anxiety doesn't have to ruin your life.

It seems that some of your friends don't give you the respect you deserve, and you realize that. You deserve friends that don't put you down, or make you feel bad about yourself. Have you tried talking to any of them to let them know how you feel when they do something that hurts you?

As for your family, i'm sorry that they don't seem to see how much you're struggling. Has anyone ever given them any information about ADHD or anxiety disorders? One reason they may not take this seriously is because they just don't know much about what you're actually going through. Maybe you could help them by giving them a link to a website accurately describing what it's like to have them, or find a informative pamphlet, ect. so they can get a better understanding.

For your self image, I think you need to try and challenge yourself. Instead of saying negative things to yourself, replace it with a compliment. Compliment yourself at least once a day. It can be really hard to do at first, but it takes practice and time. If you have a mirror in your room, write the compliments down on sticky notes and stick them around the outside of your mirror to remind yourself of the positives.

Anyways, I hope this post helped out a little bit.
Take care. :]