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Anxiety This forum is for seeking advice on anxiety and stress related issues.

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Paix et Amour Offline
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Anxiety around fighting? - July 25th 2011, 09:44 PM

this started when i was a lot younger. i have pretty much always had anxiety, and my parents could see it when i was VERY young. it was more mild then though. the cause of it is pretty clear. my parents had viciously fought for years before they divorced like a year and a half ago. by vicious fighting i mean screaming for hours, and by screaming i mean so loud you could barely make out what they said, and the next morning they had lost their voices. i pretty much grew up with it. i think the first anxiety attack i had was when i was maybe 7 or 8. we were driving to new jersey to visit family (3 day drive from here in NM) and the whole time they fought. at one point, when my mom was driving, she pulled over and made him get out of the car and was about to drive away. i remember being in the back seat with my sister, barely able to breathe from hyperventilating, and i was crying into a pillow with my sister trying to calm me down (she was like 13 or 14, and she has always had anxiety so she knows how to help when i have attacks) when my dad like grabs the door trying to get his wallet and he was crying basically thinking she would leave him stranded on the edge of wherever the hell we were. that was my first anxiety attack, and since then its been getting worse. now i cant hear people fighting without getting that feeling in my chest like my heart is about to explode. when im actually involved in the fight its even worse. i end up almost passing out from the hyperventilating, and you cant calm me down for like an hour. i also have other anxiety though. like when im awake after everyone is asleep (every night basically) i get anxiety and just think somebody is there, and is going to kill me/hurt me. its kind of stupid, because i know there is nobody there, but i cant help but feel like there is. in the bathroom when we had normal curtains (my mom put in clear ones thank god) i would cautiously open them assuming somebody was hiding there. i know, its stupid, but i cant help but feel this almost constant anxiety.

sorry for such a long post, i was kind of ranting. but if you can give me any tips on how to control it / help when im already having an attack, that would be great. thanks
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Re: Anxiety around fighting? - July 29th 2011, 01:11 PM

So... I don't have anxiety attacks... But I get really nervous and freaked out easily. At the gym, whenever I'm at meet, I freak out. I do the move, but when I get back to the sides I'm always shaking. So my coach noticed, and showed me what he used to do when he was nervous. I know it's going to sound stupid, but stay with me because it's worked miracles for me.

coach: Leah, are you ok?
Leah: Yeah just super nervous
Coach: Come with me.
(we walk to his office)
Leah: I'm after Kayla on bars...
Coach: You can't do your dismount like this! You're a nervous mess. Here.
(Hands me an empty coke bottle)
Leah: It's empty? What are you trying to prove.
(Coach hands me a piece of paper)
Coach: Write down what you're scared of.
( I write "Falling, not getting my dismount right, and failing")
Leah: I still don't see how this is going to help.
Coach: Put the piece of paper in the bottle.
(I put the piece of paper in the bottle)
Coach: Now throw it against a wall.
Leah: Are you crazy?!
Coach: When you throw it, i want you to think that all the things you're nervous about are shattering into pieces. they won't matter. Go ahead. throw it hard!
(I throw the bottle at the wall as hard as i can)
Coach: Go kick some ass

I know it's insane and really inconvenient, but when I don't have a bottle i just picture it in my mind... I don't know if the same would apply to you, but good luck. Hope this helped.


I wanna fly. So I do gymnastics instead.

I'll just keep holding on to what i believe and oh I believe in you. Give me the strength for the fight and the heart to believe cause I've got to believe in you. I feel so alive.

PeacewithImperfection
   
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Paix et Amour Offline
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Re: Anxiety around fighting? - July 29th 2011, 08:03 PM

thanks, i can try it :P
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