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Anxiety This forum is for seeking advice on anxiety and stress related issues.

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blumemusik♫ Offline
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Getting over anxiety of talking to people I don't know? - October 27th 2011, 08:24 PM

NO idea where to put this, seen as it's not really 'anxiety.'

But basically, I want to be able to Skype/FaceTime with some people on here, because they're awesome people and I really want to get to know them better

But, whenever I try to do something like that, which involves seeing each other/talking to each other in real time, I get all freaked out.

I'm okay over MSN and things. For example, on another website, I met a girl called Tasha who I got on really well with. We spoke for months on MSN, then she suggested doing a video call. I tried it, but within seconds I had to turn my computer off and pretend it crashed, because I started panicking.

I'm better when it's actually face to face. Like, usually (but not always) I can go into a shop and buy stuff. But I'm not able to ask for anything over the counter, if you get what I mean.

If someone phones me that I know, I'm fine talking to them. If someone I DON'T know phones our home phone and I have to pick it up, I'm fine. But if it was someone who I sort of knew, like if I'd spoken to them in school a few times, or on MSN etc, I'd freeze up and have to hang up.

Does anybody know what could be causing this, or what I can do to combat it?

EDIT: I don't think it's a confidence thing. I enjoy acting and performing, and can talk to crowds of people with just a bit of nerves before hand. But if it's more personal, like a music or speaking exam (with only me and an examiner in the room,) I panic and really struggle.

Last edited by blumemusik♫; October 27th 2011 at 08:26 PM. Reason: Details
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Re: Getting over anxiety of talking to people I don't know? - October 28th 2011, 09:55 PM

In my opinion, public speaking and one-on-one speaking are two totally different things. You can do public speaking and still be terrified of one-on-one speaking, because 1) you're not making personal connections with anyone while you're on stage, and 2) you're well prepared for the performance. Once you're expected to be genuine and spontaneous with your conversation, however, it can be much more unnerving. Some people have difficulty conversing with strangers, while others only have difficulty with people they know. It's different for everyone, so you might want to take some time to identify which population(s) you have a hard time conversing with, and what exactly is causing you to panic. For example, when you're at a store and have to talk directly to a cashier, you may not enjoy making eye contact, asking for assistance, etc. With a recent acquaintance, however, your main concern may be that you're worried about looking stupid or saying something stupid, coming across as boring, etc.

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anxiety, people, talking

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