I can't take it anymore.

[pitawindstar]

My life is ruled by anxiety,paranoia, and irrational worrying. I've had problems with it since middle school and I'm a senior in high school now.

I have a fair degree of anxiety in social situations. I always worry about my health and the health of people I care about. Sometimes if I have a headache I'll keep myself up at night, convinced that I have a brain tumor or something crazy. I don't like being awake at night when I'm alone, because I'm afraid someone will break into my house and kill me or something. If it's not one thing, it's another.

What's been beginning to bother me again lately, especially since the weather has been getting nicer, is my two little siblings playing outside. I will NEVER let them out of my sight. It doesn't matter if they're outside on the trampoline and I can see them from my bedroom window, I HAVE to be out there. I don't know exactly what I think will happen to them, that they'll run away or get kidnapped or something? If one of them is "lost" (i.e., mostly it's something like they went to a different part of the house and I just didn't notice) for just a moment I'll have a full-on panic attack until I "find" them. The only time I feel completely at peace about this is late at night, because everyone is sleeping. During the day I'll try to persuade them to stay inside as much as possible so I don't have to worry. This is my whole spring/summer until it starts snowing again.

This may not make sense, but "intellectually", I KNOW that all of this is for the most part, irrational. But I think knowing it intellectually is different from knowing it "emotionally". I know that this is completely irrational, and when people trying to help me tell me that, I agree. But it doesn't change how I feel, so I keep reacting in these ways. I know that my mom loves and cares about me, but she just doesn't understand that I'm not doing this on purpose. She always gets mad at me for acting like this. She's told me before that I'm "being completely stupid" and that I "just need to stop". But I CAN'T. At least by myself, anyway. Does she think that I choose this? I hate it. I'm not myself anymore because I'm always worrying. Most of the time I feel like I'm just plodding through life until I die. I'm afraid to ask her to help me find professional help because she doesn't think I need it.

I'm dreading tomorrow just because I'll have a whole new batch of worries to face, and then it repeats again and again. I want to break this cycle but I simply don't know how. I don't know what to do anymore.

[Dr.Bobby]

Originally Posted by pitawindstar

My life is ruled by anxiety,paranoia, and irrational worrying. I've had problems with it since middle school and I'm a senior in high school now.

This is too long to suffer! It's time to tell someone and get it treated properly, if ti was going to go away on it's own, or you could do this on your own, that would have happened by now.

Tell some adult what you've been experiencing in detail and let them get you to a doc for an evaluation and treatment. At the very least, you'll really need to be better for college!

[survivor16]

I agree with Dr.Bobby, tell an adult you trust! Please dont suffer in silence. I have been there, I had such anxiety problems and sometimes they still come up, but I'm doing so much better because I told someone. I got the help I needed. It will feel so much better when you dont have to worry about all of these things, wont it?
You can do this!

[pitawindstar]

Thank you for replying! c:

I have asked my parents for help a few times before but they think it's not that serious and that I can get over it by myself just fine, but obviously it's been a few years and nothing has changed. I will try again though.

[lauri]

Try breathing exercises, yoga, napping and meditation. If its really bothering you which it seems it is and if its getting in the way of your life which it is. Then you need to get help for it NOW. See a therapist tell them about this. Your excessive worry is not healthy for you. You need to find help for it why you do it and ways to cope with it.