Rock or Hardplace

[Pensive14]

ughh... I need advice.
Even though fencing kills me (homework wise), I enjoy it enough to keep doing it. Not only that, but if I keep at it, I should be men's saber captain senior year, which should look good for colleges.
However, it might as well be a car payment because it costs that much each month. And with my schedule, I can't exactly get a job. Now that I think about it, I'll have even less time because "3-6 hours of sleep for 2 months isn't healthy" and I got sent home for exhaustion yesterday.
Anyway, an opportunity came up where I can start doing modeling for like LL Bean, and those kinds of crappy advertisements. While incoming money is good, I scrape bottom with self esteem and feel pretty uncomfortable doing this. In contrast, I'll feel guilty if I don't do it; not that my mom can't afford it.
My rant's probably worthless and wasting the time I need so badly. Oh well...

Ideas & Suggestions?

[Heartlines.]

In my opinion, I think you should put fencing on hold for a while. You're extremely exhausted, and your school work is suffering. If your school work falters, then all the work you put into fencing wouldn't even matter because grades are one of the most important things. I know this is something you're passionate about, but it seems to be adding to the stress, rather than alleviating it. Is there a cheaper cluib or sport you can join that would look good on college apps? I think you should look into it. Things like volunteering look especially good to colleges. Maybe you could consider doing that.

As far as modeling goes. Only you can decide what you want to do. Make a pros and cons list to doing the modeling. See what one outweighs the other. Maybe modeling could help your Self Esteem. If you feel you need modeling to get by, then try it out. Maybe you will find that you like it. Money seems to be tight. If you make good money modeling, you could always pay your mom back. You're young, you have tons of options. It's just about piecing things together little by little, one by one.

Good luck!