My closest classmate dropped out of college. :(

[bitesize]

I'm in a very small college course and am close with all my classmates, but one of them in particular, called S, was my closest friend in the class. I fancied her a fair bit when I first met her but as we got closer the feelings just developed into a close friendship. We used to joke that we were the 'same person' because we kept saying the same things at the same time,etc. Anyway, she's barely been in very much over the last few weeks since we came back after Christmas, but I've been chatting with her over facebook on the days she wasn't in.

On Monday we were informed that she had dropped out of the course. She hadn't said anything to me and when I got home and mentioned it to her on facebook she never replied, and hasn't said anything to me or anyone about it since. I'm upset that she just upped and left the course and said nothing to me first?? She broke up with her boyfriend of 3 months,also in our class, in January, and I know she wasn't completely happy in the course but I didn't think it was enough to not even stay the year and get the certificate. I really miss her in classes and am having trouble taking it in that she won't be in college any more - my class are down to twelve now. I feel really sad about the whole thing... I'm close with all my class but her and I had a special bond and it's gone now.

[Always *]

Its possible that she was just to unhappy in the course and struggling to much to see it through. It happens a lot and she might not have wanted to complain to the rest of you to much for fear that you guys wouldn't understand if she tried to explain. As someone who *almost* dropped out of college I know it can be embarrassing for people to explain why especially when you are trying to convince yourself to stay--she might not want to have talked to much and made herself more upset about it and such. And now that she's dropped out she probably is feeling insecure and not ready to talk about WHY. You could try messaging her and explaining to her that you would like to know why she dropped out, but that if she doesn't want to talk about it that's fine and you won't ask about it for now, let her know that you don't want to lose her as a friend just cause you guys aren't in school together and ask her to reply. It might help if she knows she won't have to explain her actions until before she is ready to; she might be in a panic about what to do with her life or just not over her choice, who knows, but often leaving people to their own devices in these cases tends to be a good course of action.

[Chris]

I'm really sorry that she just upped and left. I think that you should try to reach out to her again. Write up a long message, about how you miss her, hope she is ok, and hope to hear from her soon and send it to her. If she doesn't answer than you really cant do much more and atleast you know that you tried to reach out to her and keep the friendship going.

Sometimes we all have rough patches in our lives, and there are certain people who 'shut down' when those patches come around. I too, do that, and if I have a rough patch I will shut off my phone/computer, not go to work, and not go to school and it can a few weeks (though for me, it never lasted past a few days). The point is, maybe something happen in her life where she felt it best to just shut everything down, and start over somewhere new.

Nonetheless, I hope you are able to talk to her soon, and that you guys can remain friends.


Best wishes,
Chris