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LewisR97 Offline
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I don't bother and take advantage of it. - February 13th 2014, 08:26 AM

Ever since I've moved in with my 2 deaf grandparents 8 years ago I've took advantage of the situation and just not bothered. I done horribly bad at school, and developed an anxiety disorder where I am affixed with health issues that aren't even there, and obsessing over symptoms I've been feeling in my body for over 2 years now. I picked up my first joint when I was 14 and it was a massive mistake. After a few months of smoking weed I built up to numerous panic attacks which changed my life and how I saw it. Every time I looked in the mirror I wouldn't recognise myself, the way I look at music changed and I would get unbearable pressure in my head (I still get all of this). It was summer time and it was time to move from school, I had a guaranteed photography course waiting for me at college which was cool but nothing else. I would sit at home all day and just play computer. When I started my college course September last year, I could barely last 3 days before I dropped out. I just felt emotionally numb and was not interested in what I was doing,
I changed my mind too fast. So straight after that I started applying for a few jobs. 4 months went by and I had finally gotten my first job at the chippy 2 minutes from mine. Same thing again, it was okay for the first 2 days then I just started to feel like I was being forced to do it, and I didn't enjoy it in the slightest. I would come home each day feeling nauseous as hell from all the moving about and smell of grease. Not 2 weeks later did I get a email telling me that I have an interview for a business administrator role under a nvq apprenticeship scheme. At the time of applying, I didn't really care about the role - I just wanted the money. I started the scheme last Monday and I can already feel the same thing happening. I'm just..giving up. I even got my grandad to by me a new phone and promised to pay him the monthly contract. I've already missed out this Monday and Tuesday for being ill, and yesterday I almost fainted because I was so stressed. I literally can not stand living, I have absolutely no fixated interests and I continue to live a very useless and lazy life. I'm emotionally numb to pretty much everything and don't have any particular interests or anything, I don't know what direction I'm going in but it's sure not good. I'm really thinking about going to college to resit my GCSES and ace them but how am I to know I won't just bail out anyway? This literally happens to everything, I pick it up..then drop it like a toy. Gym, healthy diet, work, education, games, books.. The list goes on. I'm not happy with my mannerisms but I can't help it without the help of someone else. Can someone please help me? I would appreciate it so much. Thank you.
   
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Usernames Suck Offline
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Re: I don't bother and take advantage of it. - February 15th 2014, 01:56 AM

Hi,
I think there are some things that could help.

The main one would be to see someone like a therapist or counsellor. There's no shame in doing so and someone like that can talk to you and help find out why you get so unmotivated, and give you coping mechanisms and ways to make yourself more motivated.

The other thing is trying to figure out what you generally want to do eventually. You don't have to think in specific terms like wanting a certain job, but more like what your ideal lifestyle would be like. That might help narrow down what your next step should be. For example if you want to eventually have a higher income and financial stability then going to university to study specific fields would be a safer bet, whereas if you're more concerned about simply having a job from early on then sticking with what you're doing it is, if you're more interested in doing research then going to university and then continue to grad school would be more like it.

Thinking about the lifestyle you'd like to have can make a ton of difference in helping you decide because even if all the opportunities available to you right now (studying and working basically) seem unappealing and boring, they're a necessary step to get whatever you want to be doing next. So thinking more long term could help.

Another idea is to see a career guidance person. They can help you assess your strengths and weaknesses and suggest possible careers that you might enjoy.

At your age, feeling lost is completely normal. When I was your age I had no idea what I wanted to be doing. Heck I've narrowed that down a bit now but I'm still not absolutely sure about the specifics. So don't sweat it so much. However, I do think it's important that you do something you're interested in now. Even if you have no goals, are there any skills you'd like to develop? These can be anything from woodworking to graphic design to sewing. Anything you'd be good at? There's definitely something you're good at, even if you don't know the specifics, something like knowing you're good with details or good at thinking strategically can help narrow things down a bit for you.

Another thing that might help would be to go back to school. I'm assuming you're in the UK whose school system sounds similar to the one in my country. Where I live if you don't want to take the classes to go to university, you can choose to study something more practical, that usually includes classes related to that subject and then an internship or apprenticeship where you can train to become whatever you've studied for. These can be things like for example, nurse's aid, cook, carpenter stuff like that.

Again I think that seeing a career guidance professional who can tell you about the different options available to you could really help, as could doing some research online.

While you do that, I think that thinking in small goals could make your daily life more manageable. You want money for yourself and to pay for your phone contract so that might be an incentive to keep going to work. If that's absolutely what you don't want to do, then think about things you'd like to be doing instead like other jobs or things you could be learning to do and try to do that instead.

It might also help for you to look into distance learning methods where you work things at your own pace and don't have a fixed class schedule.
   
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