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loopage Offline
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Is it my fault? - March 31st 2014, 03:33 PM

Hi, I'll just apologize beforehand that English isn't my native language & this is my first time seeking out advice like this.

I used to have problems with school, I've gone through an extra year after secondary school, started & dropped out of a high school, same with a vocational & coaching school. But currently I'm doing okay with school, so the problem isn't with me.

Now the problem lies with my little brother, Andre. He started to study for a double degree last fall which understandably can get hard.
Me & my mom would understand if he dropped high school & focused on the vocational part, which he says he's interested in.
I think Andre has already skipped two months this year, which makes it a wonder that he hasn't been kicked out yet.
When ever mom wants to talk about it with him he just shouts that he doesn't want to talk about it & bails...
She even considers the possibility of him being bullied at school, but I asked him about it seriously & he said no (I have a history of being bullied).

So now I've started to think that I gave him a bad example with my school history?
I'm three years older & he's underage so mom (and dad) still hold responsibility over him & he only listens to dad.
But whenever dad talks with him, he promises to go to school normally & brakes the promise, lying about it the next time he sees him.
Andre was supposed to see the school counselor today at 10 am, but skipped that too with no excuse, so I have no clue what to do at this point?

I'm just really worried about him because I've done the same & it's not a nice loop to be stuck in.
And sorry my thoughts are just really all over the place today;;
   
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Re: Is it my fault? - March 31st 2014, 05:04 PM

Hi there Lorie,

That sounds really hard for you You have to remember that both you and your mum have spoken to your brother and have told him that you are there for him. All you can do really is continue to be there to listen if he wants to talk and check up on him to check that he is okay.

Is there anyone like his friends or teachers that you or your mum could speak to about what is going on? You could ask them to keep an eye out for him and check that he is okay in school.

I hope this helps and things improve for him. Don't hesitate to contact me if you ever need to talk.


I'm here if anyone wants to talk, I'm always here. Feel free to VM or PM me
   
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Re: Is it my fault? - April 1st 2014, 04:36 PM

Is it your fault? No. May he use you as an excuse at some point? Probably.

There comes a time when he has to realize his own actions. While he may be denying any bullying, that may be an issue. Another issue could be depression, anxiety, or another mental illness. It may be best to suggest he go see a counselor to rule out any of those particular issues.
   
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Re: Is it my fault? - April 1st 2014, 07:15 PM

Try and be there for him, if you know hes not going to school maybe try to find out what hes doing instead and make sure hes not up to anything dangerous im not saying you should follow him but maybe just drop a "what are you doing after school together" dont let him see you as another mum you are his sister not a teacher but remember you are older and there is nothing you can do about the fact that he might not feel confortable talking to you.. suggest he invites people over to study and who knows they might end up actually doing so

If not at least your family will know where he is!
   
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Re: Is it my fault? - April 2nd 2014, 02:36 PM

Thanks guys, I had a little bonding with my brother today since we both were home, we watched a movie & I treated him to a pizza, so I think it'll be easier to talk to him about it now.
I guess he's just doesn't have the will for school right now, but I'll see if I can help him with it, we're in the same boat & house after all.
Maybe all he needs right now is just time to think about it.
   
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