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jayracer28 Offline
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Lightbulb Big Life Choices - November 4th 2015, 01:43 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of peer pressure or bullying, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I go to a private, all girls school in Massachusetts; the state is known for having top notch private schools, and while the school I attend is academically challenging, the drama and social aspects are too much to handle for me.

I have been going to private school since 2nd grade, though I've been to 3 different private schools. Throughout my time at private school, I have been bullied severely simply because my family is different, and I am different.

Recently, a girl in my grade called me out for "smoking pot and sucking dick like a whore," and while my sexual habits are of that of a mature young woman (though I am a virgin), I have never, nor will I probably ever, try drugs.

So, after years of being bullied and accused and threatened, this incident was the "final straw" for me, and I have been (in the last year or so) considering applying to boarding schools. Now, outside of school in the winter I compete in intense ski racing in NY state, and have been for about 10 years. The boarding schools I am thinking of (Holderness Academy, Proctor Academy, Green Mountain Valley School, and Deerfield Academy), are all schools with phenomenal ski racing teams. However, Deerfield is the only one that is anywhere near as academically challenging as my current school. As someone who wants to make their way to the US Olympic Alpine Team, getting in A in freshman biology is not my priority.

On top of these thoughts, my parents are certainly unaware of how desperate I am to leave this "private school bubble" in my area. It reeks of rich, spoiled kids who don't understand what it means to be kind; girls calling each other by cruel names, and guys treating girls like meat, as well as guys treating each other like they're all supposed to be "real men," or whatever. I don't even know.

So, I went to my class dean, and she told me that now (with the drama with this girl and all) is not the time to make any major life choices. I feel where she's coming from on that point, however I've been researching these schools for a year now, and I'm pretty damn sure boarding school is what I want to do.

So, if anyone is on this website, and happens to go to boarding school (even one of the schools I mentioned), please feel free to leave me some advice on what you think I should do; I'm more than stuck.
   
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Re: Big Life Choices - November 10th 2015, 08:10 PM

Hey there (and welcome by the way!)

I'm really sorry to hear about your experiences of bullying. I never went to a private school but have heard of that kind of culture. I also want to point out that it's not just private schools that have bullying issues; it's sadly a universal thing. I'm saying that not to put you off but just as a reminder that bullying isn't limited to private schools. I do understand the toll it must've taken on your emotional and mental health and wellbeing and understand your decision to get out of the bullying environment.

Is there a particular reason why your parents are unaware of how bad you want to leave your school? Since you have done quite a bit of research on boarding schools, it's probably worthwhile taking some time to explain to your parents about what's going on, why you want to leave and where you are thinking of applying. It would be really good if you could have your parents support!

When your class dean said that it's not the right time, what did she mean exactly? I understand that if you have exams coming up that changing schools, and particularly going to a boarding school where things may be quite different, is generally discouraged as it may affect your learning and performance in exams. However, it's not fair on you to put up with the bullying either. Is it possible to talk to your dean, or someone in the school, about the issues and how to resolve them? Is it not possible to change classes away from those particular girls?

I haven't attended a boarding school, so can't advise there, but maybe someone else can. Hope I helped a bit anyway!


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