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Unhappy After High School Stress - April 12th 2016, 02:59 AM

So I'm in Grade 12 right now. And my marks are good except for one class. What's really bothering me is that I don't want to go to University or College next year because I feel I'm not ready. I don't know what I want to do for the future and I would like to come back another semester to figure things out, improve my marks, and apply in February 2017. That's what I want to do. But my father is really set on me going to University next year and it's stressing me out. I even feel I'm becoming depressed. I feel lonely, sad, and hopeless. I want to tell my dad but he's not an understanding person and he would tell me that I have to go to University. I'm a 17 year old guy and I've been crying myself to sleep. I don't know what to do. Please help.
   
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Re: After High School Stress - April 12th 2016, 05:29 AM

Hello and welcome to TeenHelp.

If going back for another semester is an option, then I agree that that's a good idea if you feel you aren't ready. However, if you still felt that you weren't ready in February, it might be worth considering a different path. This wouldn't mean giving up on higher education forever; just doing something else until you were definitely able to cope with it.

You're not alone - many teens are daunted by the idea of college/university. It's difficult when parents are not understanding, but I think that if you have a clear plan of what you want to do and why, your dad is more likely to listen.

In order to ensure that your plan is clear, figure out exactly what course you want to study, where you want to apply to, whether they allow you to start when you are looking to start, etc. In addition, although it's not easy, I do think that you should be honest with your dad about why you don't want to go straight to college/university. Perhaps say how you want to give it your best shot, and you would rather wait a bit and then succeed, than try to do it before you're ready and fall flat on your face, so to speak.

I hope you can find the courage to stand up for what you want.


Be kind to yourself.

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Re: After High School Stress - April 13th 2016, 05:31 PM

Hey there (and welcome to TeenHelp!)

When we get to the ending of school, it can be daunting to think about the future, especially if we don't really know what we want to do.

It can be helpful to think about what classes you enjoy and what you are good at and research what universities offer courses that build on these things. Or you could look at all the courses on offer, or just look online for different careers and see if anything interests. Don't forget you can always talk to your teachers (and in particular a careers advisor, if your school has one).

Aside from not knowing what you want do (which is completely understandable at your age) is there anything in particular that worries you about university? It can definitely be a scary time, and I was really nervous too seeing as I got picked on in school and didn't have many friends. I dreaded going to university. But honestly, university and school are so different, and I had a much better time at university!

While it's good to want to go back for another semester, it's also good to remember to not let fear control your life. I'm sorry to hear that your father isn't understanding. Is there anyone else in your life you could talk to? Perhaps another relative or a particular teacher?

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling depressed and lonely. It's good to cry though and let your feelings out. How long have you been feeling this way for? If it's been a while, or things don't seem to improve, you might want to talk to a counsellor. Not only can they help you to manage your feelings, but they might be able to help you explore what you want to do after school too.

Hope this helps a bit


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Re: After High School Stress - April 17th 2016, 05:52 PM

What country are you in?
   
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