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FallonRose Offline
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Unhappy Dropping Out - October 16th 2017, 06:51 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Don't get me wrong, I want to get my Master's degree and have a successful career so I don't end up like my parents but my mental stability is preventing me from being productive and motivated with my course load and work...I'm already about a month behind and I don't think there's any way to fix it. Not only that but I've been seriously unhappy, depressed and suicidal since I moved into the dorms. I think the combination of being away from home, being isolated (no friends or family and living in a much smaller town so there's not much to do), falling into a opiate addiction and all of the homework has put me down and I basically just shut down. I feel like such a failure and a disappointment that it just makes my feelings and frustration worse. My family insists that I at least transfer to the campus in my hometown and drop down to part time but
a. I don't know if that's a possibility given that it's so late in the semester
and b. if I will even be motivated then
I just have no idea what I'm doing with my life at this point and it's tearing me apart
I guess I'm just asking for advice on what I should do. I've been pondering with the idea of dropping out for now and getting back to a healthy mindset and returning (either part time or full time) though I'm concerned if I'll even end up resuming going to school...sigh




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Re: Dropping Out - October 16th 2017, 11:27 AM

Hey Fallon, I am so sorry to hear you are struggling right now. Falling behind in your coursework, especially in university, can be a difficult thing to recover from. Then you add on your depression and new drug habit, and it makes everything that much worse. I agree with your family in that you should move back home and attend the local college beginning January. You're right, it's too late in the semester now to enroll in any courses there, but the next three months out of school might be helpful for you.

You said you don't know if you'd ever feel motivated to do your work and are afraid you'll never get your degree. Believe me, I know that feeling all too well! I've felt it almost every single day since I was 22! I'm 32 now and am just taking the first steps in returning to school, but via online courses. That's also an option as well, online courses. Is that something you would consider? I know this will be a challenge for me with my ADHD, but that experience is different for everyone. It may actually work for you.

Meanwhile, do you have a therapist you could speak to? Speaking to mine has helped tremendously over the past year since I've been seeing her. She was actually the one who encouraged me to take the appropriate steps in going back to school.

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Re: Dropping Out - October 16th 2017, 11:54 AM

Hey Fallon,

If you don't feel like you can continue with this semester then dropping out would be fine. If you can, provide a medical note and you should be able to get a W on your transcript. If you aren't feeling mentally ready to commit to school I don't think you should force yourself. I've done that in the past and it ended up messing with my GPA.

Here's the thing, school will always be there and when you are mentally ready it is likely that you will do better. I know during the semesters when I wasn't struggling I ended up doing really well in school such as getting a 4.0. However, there were plenty of semesters where I forced myself to go and just couldn't do it and ended up hurting my GPA or having to withdraw.

If you decide to drop out I'd suggest that you explore the campus closer to home and look into online courses. I know people who have struggled with school and mental health and ended up benefitting quite a bit from online school. Going part time can also be helpful. I know that the semesters I tended to do best at were the semesters where I was not full time.

I think that your mental well-being is the most important thing. I know that struggling through school tended to make my mental health worse because I felt like such a terrible person for struggling so much when I had done so well in high school.

My oldest brother actually took a year off from college when he got into a bad car accident. After that year, he ended up going back and was able to complete his education. I think the year off actually helped him to find motivation and realize what he wanted to do. There are plenty of people who drop out or take a gap year and end up going back to school.

Best regards.


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Re: Dropping Out - October 16th 2017, 06:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Abibliophobe~ View Post

If you aren't feeling mentally ready to commit to school I don't think you should force yourself.
This is true and I wish it were that easy but my grandma is paying for my education and it will be a huge chore to convince her if at all.

inb4 "it's your life you can make your own decisions" my grandma has the financial upperhand and has perfected gaslighting and making other people feel like shit for putting their emotions and wellbeing first.

I went and talked to the Student Life person about what I need to do in order to drop out and she basically told me that she won't let me so I'm either going to just stop coming and let them drop me for not attending or like you also said provide a medical document to get a withdrawal.

Thank you both for your responses though I greatly appreciate it.




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Re: Dropping Out - October 17th 2017, 02:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by FallonRose View Post
This is true and I wish it were that easy but my grandma is paying for my education and it will be a huge chore to convince her if at all.

inb4 "it's your life you can make your own decisions" my grandma has the financial upperhand and has perfected gaslighting and making other people feel like shit for putting their emotions and wellbeing first.

I went and talked to the Student Life person about what I need to do in order to drop out and she basically told me that she won't let me so I'm either going to just stop coming and let them drop me for not attending or like you also said provide a medical document to get a withdrawal.

Thank you both for your responses though I greatly appreciate it.
I hope you are able to provide medical documentation because if you just stop showing up you will likely end up getting F's in the classes you are taking which can have an impact on any financial aid you might be entitled too. It will also have an impact on your grades. Although, if you fail one semester/one group of classes, most college allow you to kind of make it up. It doesn't make the F's disappear completely but they do not hold as much weight as they would if you do not end up making up those classes. It is something a lot of people do here, at least. So, you might want to look into how/if you can make up the F's if you ended up getting that.

Also, I know a lot of colleges have a certain policy about dropping the classes before the semester ends so you might want to look into that. I know, for example, that my college will allow you to drop AND get a fee reversal if you drop the class within the first three weeks. After that you can automatically drop with a W till week nine but you will not get any of your money back. Once the nine weeks is up you take a grade unless you can prove you have extenuating circumstances by providing a doctors note or something like that. My campus has a form that you have to fill out.


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