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TraitorBaby Offline
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I need motivation... I feel like giving up - February 20th 2018, 05:37 PM

I take online courses, and I m just trying to get through high school so I can get out. The environment that I live in is very bad, borders on the abusive and is pretty hopeless. I'm almost 18, but I need to finish high school so that when I do leave, they have no leverage against me.
At the same time, I can't just rush through the bare minimum classes, because I know I'll be on my own once I do leave, so I need to at least have a good GPA and basic college credits. But I'm also really behind, because I spent almost an entire year battling depression, unsupportive family and severe anxiety, so I'm just now finishing up my sophomore year when I should be closer to my jr year. And it's still really hard for me to get anything done, because everyone around me stresses me out so much that I don't want to think and I just end up numbing myself to videogames and random shit. My grades aren't an issue, and I understand the material, I just can't get it done. I'm also trying to enter an essay contest for a scholarship, but I have to jump through hoops to even do that.
The whole thing is just really disheartening... I mean I spend nearly all day in the house alone just thinking what the fuck I'm doing with my life when i cant get anything done, and its not really my fault, but that there's no way out of here. Please help me.
   
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Re: I need motivation... I feel like giving up - February 22nd 2018, 11:55 AM

That sounds like a really difficult position to be- taking online courses, being a bit behind from depression, as well as living in an unhealthy environment. I can see why you would feel things are bit a hopeless!

It's really good that your grades aren't an issue though. Perhaps that can give you a bit of hope? That despite all that you have been through, you are still able to make it through education. I also think that when life seems a bit hopeless, it can be good to remember why you are trying to do well in education, even if it's just to get away from family. Life might seem a bit hopeless, but imagining the future, your future, where you can what you want to do and live how you want to live, can help to keep you focussed.

It's also okay (and even healthy!) to take time for yourself and play video games. Although I do understand that when you lack motivation to get work done, it can feel like you spend your time playing video games and procrastinating, rather than doing things. Perhaps try to break things down. You know that you want to get out of your situation and that's the overall goal. But it can seem overwhelming too. So make to-do lists and schedules and take each day at a time, even if it just means starting off small and trying to get only one or two things done each day. It may seem pointless, but all the little things will add up and not only that, but it can help you to get back into the swing of things, allowing you to get more done.

Do you have anywhere else you can go to get work done, perhaps a library, coffee shop or depending on the weather, a park or something? Sometimes a change of scenery can help and in some cases, it can help you to get things done rather than ruminating on your life (although, I do hope that you have someone you can talk to about things!)

As the saying goes, Rome wasn't built in a day, and while it may take some time and hard work to get to a better place, it will be worth it and I'm sure you'll get there!


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