I Feel so Stupid

[Ballsack]

All of my fears about college came true. Okay, maybe I'm overreacting since this is just the first week and this is also the first group project. But I'm well aware that I didn't come from a very good high school and I'm not very smart either. We were given a group presentation project my our lecturer and I'm so humiliated right now. I don't think I gave my group any good studies to use as reference and I can't even do much because I didn't bring my laptop with me. Yes I didn't expect us to start making it today since originally it was supposed to be for tomorrow, but that doesn't excuse shit. I'm so fucking humiliated. Add to that, all the friends I've made are apparently in different classes than me. And I live far away from campus meanwhile they live around campus so when there's a few hours in between classes they all go home meanwhile I can't even go home because the journey from my place to campus is too long. I'm so stupid and miserable and to add to that it seems like my ex is doing wonderfully in college. Look, I'm happy for him. He was super depressed and I'm happy that he turned his life around. But why can't I be happy too? Why am I so miserable? What did I do to be this stupid and unattractive and boring? Every word that comes out of my mouth have no real substance and I don't even have the looks to support how boring I am.