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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Haley Offline
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My band director just sent me a very, very uncomfortable message on Facebook. - August 20th 2009, 12:19 AM

I sent my band director a friend request on Facebook last night, because all of my teachers have it and it's a nice way to keep up with assignments you've missed. This man is in his late thirties, and I am seventeen, and I am in NO WAY interested in him. My mom seems to think that it's weird, but I should let it die down. However, I don't feel comfortable with that, but I don't know what I should do. Am I making this bigger than it really is? This is the message:

Where were you tonight? I hoped you would be there for the senior recognition. We also need to talk scholarship stuff. I need to wait to add you as a friend until I open a SHS band account. There are several people that already think we are an item, so we need to be careful not to feed that fire. It's very flattering to me, but whatever our friendship is, professional or personal, I think it may look overt if I friend you on this account. If you have any question what I mean by this, ask me (in private).

See you Tomorrow,
WC



I don't think that that's very appropriate to send to a student, but I don't want it to ruin my senior year of band, either. Then again, I also hate band and it wouldn't be a big deal for me to quit. Another thing? Well... I've been in band for almost eight years. It would be very depressing for me to get out my last year, but I no longer feel comfortable about the situation. I have no clue what to do.


Give me something to believe in
a breath from the breathing
so write it down
I don't think that I'll close my eyes
'cause lately I'm not dreaming
so what's the point in sleeping?
it's just that at night
I've got nowhere to hide.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Jamie Offline
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Re: My band director just sent me a very, very uncomfortable message on Facebook. - August 20th 2009, 12:32 AM

I don't think he's coming on to you or something- it sounds like a couple people have said to him that you two are together and that he's very worried that it might become a rumour (that could easily cost him his job) and he's having a bit of a panic.


The philosophers have only interpreted the world, in various ways; the point is to change it.

"Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it." - George Bernard Shaw


22:36 [Ergg] It's so much better to be a girl
22:36 [Ergg] IMO
22:36 [Jamie] Naw. Two words: Periods. Childbirth.
22:36 [Ergg] One word: Birth control
22:37 [Jamie] That's two words.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My band director just sent me a very, very uncomfortable message on Facebook. - August 20th 2009, 12:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jamie View Post
I don't think he's coming on to you or something- it sounds like a couple people have said to him that you two are together and that he's very worried that it might become a rumour (that could easily cost him his job) and he's having a bit of a panic.
If you met my band director, you would see why that simply isn't possible.
I know it sounds stuck up, but he's fat and really old looking and balding. I'm seventeen. Enough said?
No one would assume that.


Give me something to believe in
a breath from the breathing
so write it down
I don't think that I'll close my eyes
'cause lately I'm not dreaming
so what's the point in sleeping?
it's just that at night
I've got nowhere to hide.
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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My band director just sent me a very, very uncomfortable message on Facebook. - August 20th 2009, 12:49 AM

It sounds like he is trying to steer clear of any dirt that could be dug up on him. With everyone screaming paedo these days, he doesn't want to put himself in a bad situation. My science teacher doesn't accept friend requests from students.

Couldn't there just be a facebook group he could admin?


"We will ask nothing. We will demand nothing. We will take." -- May 1968, French Graffiti
   
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Jamie Offline
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Re: My band director just sent me a very, very uncomfortable message on Facebook. - August 20th 2009, 12:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Haley View Post
If you met my band director, you would see why that simply isn't possible.
I know it sounds stuck up, but he's fat and really old looking and balding. I'm seventeen. Enough said?
No one would assume that.
True. But it doesn't stop people thinking that he might like you, even if he doesn't. As Double X said, some schools are way too eager to jump on any personal friendship between teachers and students, even if it's just friends and hand them the sack.


The philosophers have only interpreted the world, in various ways; the point is to change it.

"Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it." - George Bernard Shaw


22:36 [Ergg] It's so much better to be a girl
22:36 [Ergg] IMO
22:36 [Jamie] Naw. Two words: Periods. Childbirth.
22:36 [Ergg] One word: Birth control
22:37 [Jamie] That's two words.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My band director just sent me a very, very uncomfortable message on Facebook. - August 20th 2009, 12:57 AM

it does sound kinda creepy to me.. if one of my teachers sent me a message like that i'd be a bit freaked out.


..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..



   
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Re: My band director just sent me a very, very uncomfortable message on Facebook. - August 20th 2009, 01:12 AM

I think he is just trying to be careful. A male adult that has teenage girls on his facebook, myspace, whatever, does look a little iffy even he is he a band director/teacher. I am sure he is just trying to make sure it is clear, to everyone, that this is strictly a Band/student thing, not something else. I wouldn’t worry about.




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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My band director just sent me a very, very uncomfortable message on Facebook. - August 20th 2009, 02:44 AM

I'm failing to see what is so inappropriate about the message he sent you. He's trying to ensure that neither you nor him end up in any trouble, especially him as it could cost him his job. I think he's trying to say it to you in a very polite and professional way, however, I don't see what is so inappropriate about it.

If it still is causing you to be very panicked, then you have the choice of blocking him.
   
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