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revb Offline
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Question Move back to Oregon or stay in The Netherlands? - February 17th 2010, 05:51 PM

This will be quite a story, so be prepared to read a bit, but it will be necessary to explain my story.

My dad is a Dutch man who moved to America when he was 20. He met my-American-mom there and lived there for about 14 years. I was born there and lived there until I was 4. At that age, my parents got a divorce and decided for mental and financial reasons, it would be best if I'd live with my dad. So I moved back to The Netherlands with my dad and I have lived there ever since.

In the past fourteen years, I have traveled back and forth in summers and winters, so I only talk to my mom on the internet and see her once every so many months. This has been the most difficult thing in my life, because I am always missing one of my parents.

But this year, my life could take a whole new course. I am going to turn 18 in April and I will graduate from Highschool. I applied to a school here but there's a lottery to get in for Psychology. If I don't get in, I will have to do something else for a while and try again.

But, since I have missed my mom all these years and I would've always loved to be able to live with her, I can also apply to a university in Oregon, where my mom lives. I speak both Dutch and American fluently and I have both citizenships, so that will be no problem.

My problem is: I've become very close with my dad because I've lived with together with him for fourteen years, at the same time, I would love to live with my mom for a while, whom I've missed for so long. I have a boyfriend of 6 weeks and pretty good friends here and most importantly: half of my family who have raised me.
I feel that if I go, I may regret letting my boyfriend, friends and family go, but If I don't go, that I will regret not going when I am older.

This is a descision I need to make for myself, but I have been having so much trouble with it, that I need help and opinion of others. What would you do, if you were me?
I wake up one day knowing that I just HAVE to go, and others in fear of leaving.

Please read this well and try to make a good comment which option you would choose and why.

Thank you.
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Re: Move back to Oregon or stay in The Netherlands? - February 17th 2010, 08:10 PM

There are a lot of things to consider here, you're right in that you have to make the decision for yourself and not other people, but how do your parents feel about it? Not having their support will make it harder, but not impossible. Also, how badly do you want to study psychology? We don't have lotteries here, so as long as you're accepted to the school you want you can study anything that's offered. You should also realize that things with your mom may not go smoothly, it can be a difficult adjustment at first. For example, my dad lives out of state and as much as I love him and like visiting, I can't imagine living with him. I think it would be a good experience to go and get to know your mom and the rest of your family better then you won't regret that you missed getting to know them. You also don't have to think of this as a permanent move, you can come for a semester or two and if you absolutely hate it you don't have to stay.

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