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I want my mom to leave me alone. - February 1st 2009, 11:32 AM

I'm not sure if I should have put this in the Family & Friends thread, but part of it belongs here, I think. But anyone can move it...

Basically, my mom's become obsessed with my grades. I did pretty bad in the last semester so now she constantly has to tell me to do my homework, ask me a bunch of questions about my work. She seriously went on my school's website to get all of the work I was doing for that week, and then bugged me about it for the whole week. It's gotten really annoying, but when I tell her that I wish she would give me a little room to breathe, she only lectures me more and tells me she can't trust me anymore. She emailed all my teachers about my grades, too...so my math teacher had to talk to me about how my mom's spending a lot of money for me to go to the school and I should do my best to make the money worth it. Which I already know, pretty much. But I wish everyone would stop being so damn obsessive with my grades. Sometimes it just makes me so frustrated, because I'm never enough. I know I shouldn't fail my classes, but still...

What should I do? Getting a tutor or whatever is out, because it's not that I don't understand it, I just don't turn my work in...but the real problem lately is my mom.





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Re: I want my mom to leave me alone. - February 1st 2009, 12:17 PM

I'm confused on this. If you do understand it, why not turn it in?

Your mother may be hounding your tail but it seems she wishes for you to do better. It may be irritating but it could pay off later. If she just sat back and let you go about doing whatever it is you do, not turning in the homework and such, your grades would be even worse. This way, with constant reminders and checking up on you ensures to her that you are doing the work right and you're handing it in. And don't go about and blame the mother if you're screwing up even with her hounding on you. You've dug yourself in a nice deep hole and she's trying to yank you out. Perhaps you'll do better and she may stop hounding you.

As for emailing the teachers your grades, I don't see the point in doing that. Each teacher would be concerned about the courses they teach you, and they'd know your grades for those courses anyways.

I remember before highschool, and for grade 8-9, after I was done my homework my parents wanted to see it. They'd check to see I got it done and then, they'd look it over. If something was wrong, they wouldn't tell me how to fix it nor pinpoint exactly what was wrong but rather give a general idea of what I screwed up, then had to go back and fix it, show the revised version and so forth. It got to be a real bitch but they've quit that for some time and I do it on my own.

The point of that little story is that if your mother claims you're irresponsible (which I'd agree with, you do the work but don't hand it in), her hounding may get you to work better and to be more self-disciplined later on.
   
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Re: I want my mom to leave me alone. - February 1st 2009, 12:48 PM

I have the same problem except with my dad, he's always down my throat about my grades, especially this year. Is there any reason why you're not turning it in? Could you not ask for extensions?


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Re: I want my mom to leave me alone. - February 1st 2009, 02:05 PM

I'm with Nick on this one, you need some kind of routine in order to get the work done properly and handed in on time. Most universities have late penalties so you need to get it sorted. Your mom will probably relax once you're handing it in
   
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Re: I want my mom to leave me alone. - February 1st 2009, 06:42 PM


It's not like I don't turn everything in on purpose, just for the record.
And I guess maybe it's hard to understand but it really is a pain in the ass when you try to get your mom to care about how you feel everyday, like being depressed and wanting to kill yourself, and then it all comes down to your grades. Like they're the most important thing in the world. There's so many other important things going on with me right now but she doesn't see it. And it kills me. And everyone takes her side, says that I'm being a pain in the ass, getting angry at me for not turning my work in. No one gets that I try but just somehow can't remember things. I'm not stupid, I've always gotten decent grades. Till everything started going downhill. As in, my emotions.
Maybe if my mom would just tell me that she cared about other things too once in awhile it wouldn't make me feel so shitty, but she doesn't do that. This really gets to me.

Sorry to waste anyones time, maybe I am a pain in the ass.





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Re: I want my mom to leave me alone. - February 1st 2009, 07:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Concrete Girl View Post

It's not like I don't turn everything in on purpose, just for the record.
And I guess maybe it's hard to understand but it really is a pain in the ass when you try to get your mom to care about how you feel everyday, like being depressed and wanting to kill yourself, and then it all comes down to your grades. Like they're the most important thing in the world. There's so many other important things going on with me right now but she doesn't see it. And it kills me. And everyone takes her side, says that I'm being a pain in the ass, getting angry at me for not turning my work in. No one gets that I try but just somehow can't remember things. I'm not stupid, I've always gotten decent grades. Till everything started going downhill. As in, my emotions.
Maybe if my mom would just tell me that she cared about other things too once in awhile it wouldn't make me feel so shitty, but she doesn't do that. This really gets to me.

Sorry to waste anyones time, maybe I am a pain in the ass.
If you don't tell these other things to the mother or someone else, how are they meant to know exactly how you feel? If you want her praise, then try to tell her that.

Either way, if you understand the work and you have it done, turn it in. I know some places don't have late penalties but that changes in university. Asking for extensions may or may not work. If you have a good excuse, it may but just asking because you're behind on work or grades are in the shitter, I wouldn't give an extension.
   
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Red face Re: I want my mom to leave me alone. - February 2nd 2009, 05:49 PM

i dont have that problem that bad but i do sometimes with my mother. shes an alcoholic and when i tell her things that i have done during or at school or my grades or anything like that and then she comes home and drinks, i seriously dont hear anything but that for the rest of that night. and when she feels like shes losing that battle she brings in other things that might hurt me or embarrass me.
trust me when i say that this is none of their business. your school life is the one place you can get away from your home and your family. i treasue the time i have there now because i know that there isnt a mother here that can hound me about anything. but when your here- you are here for your education so pull your finger out! im year 12 now but when i was yr 11. my grades went south bad too and now im always studying and doing tests (practice ones) and doing homework that last year i would have snubbed my pretty little nose at because i thought i had too much to deal with because my home life but that was when i realised i was wrong.
my home life is completely different from my school life and that is something that i truly treasure.
   
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Re: I want my mom to leave me alone. - February 2nd 2009, 10:56 PM

The OP says the school costs a lot, so I assume it's a private one, therefore, it is the parents' business as it's their money.

Yes, keep home life and school life seperate as much as possible but seeing as how you live under the parents' roof, you obey their rules. If they wish to help you or know how you're doing, either tell them or they find out.

If you have home life issues, well that's too bad. Resolve them somehow but don't use them as a lame excuse for doing bad in school. Saying to a university during an interview "my grade 12 grades were low because my mother was hounding me" won't cut it.
   
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Re: I want my mom to leave me alone. - February 2nd 2009, 11:33 PM

i am dealing with the exact same thing i dont know what to do. i am trying harder and hopefully after my grades improve they'll get of my back
   
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