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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
St.Vincent Offline
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Thumbs up My Experiences with Housing for University (all the things they tell you not to do, explained) - March 17th 2010, 01:25 AM

1. Do not room with your best friend from high school. Or even your good but not best friend from high school.

Why not, you ask? Well, many reasons. One is that a new roommate will help you make new friends (you will cling to your hs roommate in those vital few weeks of the semester when you need to make friends). Another is that it's a lot worse to not get along well, rooming wise, with someone who is not your friend (having different life habits makes it very stressful on a relationship). Another reason is that your friend from high school might not adjust well to college, and you will feel responsible for taking care of him/her, and then you will discover that you might not be able to help them. In my case, my good friend from high school had a nervous breakdown in the first semester of college and tried to commit suicide. This probably won't happen to you, but I can not tell you how many times, over the course of the semester I thought--"I knew I should not have roommed with my friend from high school." Granted, I understand that situation would have been hard even if she wasn't from my high school, but us being good friends did not help when things got rough. A word of caution.

2. Do not room with your boyfriend. Even if you love him, and have been together forever and ever. Maybe not a DO NOT, but certainly be very cautious.

I had been going out with my boyfriend for about 3 years (thing were a little on and off, but still, 3 years man, 3 years is a long time). And we thought, well, let's move in next year! We signed the lease and then, for some reason, we fell out of love. Or maybe just me, but the point is--you're stuck. You're stuck with the apartment, you have to find a new roommate, or dissolve the lease and find new housing, all while you're still reeling from the breakup. It's a responsibility, and everyone seems to think they're ready for it, I thought I was. But.. maybe not . Also, living with your boyfriend may helps you isolate all the other people in your life, and then suddenly, when you do break up--it's a big lonely world you have to rehabilitate into. If you're going to live with your boyfriend, at least rent a two bedroom so you can sublet easily if it ends.

Ok, so this is half a rant, and half some casual words of advice for all those incoming freshies making decisions about housing. My experience will not be your experience, and I know I can't convince you when your mind's made up, but I'm just putting it out there.

But if it does go wrong, you can fix it. You can change your life, you can change your house, find a new roommate, pay the fees, get a new room. It's fixable, but there's ways to avoid the problems and woes to begin with. Just my two cents.

Everybody's gotta learn sometime, huh?


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Re: My Experiences with Housing for University (all the things they tell you not to do, explained) - March 17th 2010, 06:02 PM

Another point all those things you used to love about your best friend or boyfriend you may come to hate. Which could drive you apart. Not Good.

RR xx



   
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Re: My Experiences with Housing for University (all the things they tell you not to do, explained) - March 17th 2010, 08:25 PM

Good advice, I shall bear that in mind next year!
Sorry it happened to you though.
Take care.
Anna




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Re: My Experiences with Housing for University (all the things they tell you not to do, explained) - March 18th 2010, 02:36 AM

Thanks Anna, I'm ok. I just had a lesson in real life bites, but my leases and etc will even out soon. I won't be homeless for next semester


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Re: My Experiences with Housing for University (all the things they tell you not to do, explained) - March 18th 2010, 02:55 AM

I am actually going to room with my best friend next semester, haha. But he is a year older than I am (He will be a Junior while I will be a Soph.) and he usually doesn't flip the fuck out on little things (that person will be me, actually), so I think we are good for now.

Plus, it is UMass, chances of rooming with a random douchebag is pretty high.


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Re: My Experiences with Housing for University (all the things they tell you not to do, explained) - March 18th 2010, 01:39 PM

I think this applies most to freshman year--I am considering rooming with my former classmate next semester too, but we're not good friends and I have a strong belief that she is already properly adjusted to college. The chances that your friend will have a nervous breakdown are probably, I venture to guess, fairly low.


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Re: My Experiences with Housing for University (all the things they tell you not to do, explained) - March 18th 2010, 05:48 PM

Such a good post, I hope everyone pays attention! It's different in the UK it seems, you don't share a room and you only live in university halls for the first year normally, then move out and share a house with your friends, but again, not a room!

It really is a very bad idea to move in with your boyfriend, especially straight off, and at 18 or so you are not ready for it. But people always think "oh we will be fine etc etc" ... Got to make your own mistakes, I guess.


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Re: My Experiences with Housing for University (all the things they tell you not to do, explained) - March 19th 2010, 12:21 PM

Yeah well, right now I'm trying to get rid of that lease. I'm glad we rented early / broke up before it was "too late" (more annoying). In the next week I'll find out if I got rid of the apt, or got a roomie for it. If that doesn't work, I'll be looking for a mini-studio elsewhere.

In my university, all freshman get dorms, and all sophomores who want dorms get dorms. After that, you're on your own but I know a lot of 3rd, 4th, and 5th years in on-campus housing. Personally, I want to MOVE OUT. But I think I need to live alone for a while, or at least with someone I don't love too much


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Re: My Experiences with Housing for University (all the things they tell you not to do, explained) - March 21st 2010, 06:57 AM

Oh God I'm actually planning on getting a dorm with my bestfriend from high school next semester. You did make some good points there. But we will both be on our 3rd semester...
I do agree with you on the boyfriend one. I mean you never know what the future of your relationship holds for you...
Good post.


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Re: My Experiences with Housing for University (all the things they tell you not to do, explained) - March 22nd 2010, 05:54 PM

I know a lot of people who've roomed with friends and it's worked completely fine. My sister and her roomie have been friends since Kindergarten and they are now Juniors in college with an apartment.

I'm rooming with my friend next year as well.

As long as people know how to work well with others, can be easy going, and can negotiate, there should be no problems.


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