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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
*Faith* Offline
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Going to Uni - February 19th 2009, 05:51 PM

School keeps going on about it and I know its only a year or two off but it keeps making me nervous. I can't stand going to school because I barely know anyone there but y'know some people I talk to which makes my anxiety lower a little but when I go to uni I'm not going to know anyone and its scary me badly. It makes me want to cut...it makes me want to go.
People ask me what I want to do after 6th form and in the back of my mind, I hear a voice in the back of my mind saying you're going to end yourself and I just look at the floor and say uni.


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Going to Uni - February 19th 2009, 06:36 PM

Hi faith,
I'm in a similar situation to you. The thought of uni petrifies me, in that its all knew, unknown. That i wont know people. But i try to remind myself, that everyone is in the same situation, no one knows anyone. In fact, freshers week is set up too get people talking to each other, so try and do lots of activities. I cant really give you any help, but just wanted to let you know that your not alone in this.


   
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Re: Going to Uni - February 19th 2009, 06:54 PM

The thought of going to uni is a pretty scary one I know and actually when I was in my first year of sixth form like you are now I didn't really want to go that much and I was planning on applying to uni's that were really close to home so I didn't have to be far away/I could stay living at home. As hard as it is to believe now what you think about uni may well change. I ended up applying to uni's far away from home, the closest one was 2 hours away. Your views and opinions on the whole thing may well change drastically over the next year so try and remain open minded about the whole experience and let yourself make the best decision for you.

Just remember though Faith uni isn't for everyone. Not everyone is going to want to go to uni, there are plenty of other options for you other then going on to higher education, you know? Yes, it's an option and a lot of young people your age may head that way but that doesn't mean you have to too. Have a look at other options maybe speak to a connexions advisor, do you have those in your sixth form? They are really helpful in helping you see the range of things you can do.

As hard as it is try not to put yourself under this immense pressure to make your decision, you have a long time yet and there is a lot of support around you when you make that decision.

Take care.
   
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Re: Going to Uni - February 19th 2009, 07:27 PM

I remember getting ready to go to uni. I was totally excited but as the time got closer to move, I was nervous and petrified. When my family left, I cried; which I never thought I would do. I didn't know anyone but try to remember that WILL get better. Everyone starting at uni that year is feeling the same thing. Everyone is scared about how they will fit in and if people will like them. Like suggested, try to go to a lot of the "welcome" events. Go to the club fair and join a club that you are interested in. You'll meet a lot of people who are interested in the same things as you in your classes and in school activities. Be yourself and have fun!


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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Going to Uni - February 20th 2009, 12:45 PM

But myself is quiet and none talkative, I get freaked out by large amounts of people and not knowing anyone. I just can't speak, I'll escape anyway I can. The thing is I want to go onto higher education and uni...I want to get my degree and things but at the same time I don't want to go because I can't face my fear. Am I just pathetic?


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Re: Going to Uni - February 20th 2009, 12:48 PM

No your not pathetic hun. I was petrified, I didnt know anyone going there and months on I'm having the time of my life. I love it!

Its acutally easy to speak to people there. Think of it, everyone else there will feel the same as you.

*hugs* take care.

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Re: Going to Uni - February 20th 2009, 01:41 PM

Of course that doesn't make you pathetic. If you decide that going to uni is something you really want to do then you can work on your problems around big groups of people. To be honest though your not with big groups of people a lot anyway. You have your room so you can escape away to that when ever you feel the need. You have a kitchen that you can share with between like 3 - 12 people, you can decide.

Other then that start looking round uni's for now. Look at smaller uni's you may feel more comfortable at those as you are less likely to be finding yourself around massive groups. If you want I can help you look?

Your not being pathetic - not at all, in fact your not alone in your thoughts a lot of people have these sorts of problems too and there are ways around them you know, so try not to let it get you bogged down
   
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Re: Going to Uni - February 20th 2009, 09:35 PM

Yeah since I have no idea how to. I was thinking about Newscastle since my school has a partnership with them...they'll lower the grade boundaries...


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Re: Going to Uni - February 20th 2009, 10:51 PM

You should go wherever your grades will realistically get you. You can use UCAS and the papers to get the League table for universities. Also, I cannot stress going to open days enough - they will help you get a real feel for a place

Jess is right though, it's fine to be nervous ^_^
   
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Re: Going to Uni - February 22nd 2009, 10:19 PM

Thanks...that might help quite a bit since I don't know what I'm looking for...
I know I should go the open days and there's one soon for Newcastle but I can't face it.


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Re: Going to Uni - February 23rd 2009, 01:52 AM

Its simple.

Dress nicely, like smart casual, it shows class.


In your first year in school alot of people dont know each other probally 70 percent or more!

Guess what! all you have to do is to take control.

Be friendly and put a smile on. People will not talk to you becuase they are shy too, not because they dont like you! Everyone is shy. Even the prettiest ones.

Dont just say high to them it can make them nervous. Ask them a question because it will trick there brains, they wont be so nervous and they will respond. and keep asking. good open questions.

Like... Hey which class is this?

then say say cool, i heard that his class is cool. go research the professor on ratemyprofessor.com

and say i heard this prof is laid back, or is halirous.

Then they are most likley to say somthing.

As the consersation contines ask them another question if they are enjoying.

and after that, say by the way my name is ****. Whats yours?

and tell them where u are from, and the they will too. after that talk about where are they from. and tell them you heard its a nice place.

Just keep talking about them!

not alot about yourself! at first. but of course you need to tell stuff about urself(to instantly make them comfortable with the exhange of words), but make sure its focus on to them.

To you the conversation maybe boring but, to them they will think your a good conversationalist and alot of people hate to talk about other people

And they will really like you. As this happens greet the person the next time you see them and continue to talk. OR greet them next class and talk alittle and introduce yourself to another person.

The second option will show respect that you like them, and the next person will talk to you will regard you as a person with social status. And u do it a few times and you can be popular. no joke. i did this before. lol because you will be able to know alot of people in your room, and peopel will be more willing to talk to you because alot of other peopel are talking to you.

As this happens focus on a few people and create a deeper relationship. And you can be great buddies, study buddies!

you can also exchange msn's ask them if you want to study together.

To make them really want to exchange, prepare yourself for the classes and particpate with the prof. you will build confidence and people will notice you.

I was shy. now, im well known, connected, and popular with both the profs and the students. cuz i get good marks by studying with my study buddies and i try in class and i am comfortable in class because i have this social network to support me for emotional support!


You can do the same.
   
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Re: Going to Uni - February 24th 2009, 07:33 PM

I totally get understand what you're saying Faith. I am in year 12 (and I guess you are too?) and ALL (literally all) my school goes on about is uni. I am getting so sick of it!!!!! its uni this, uni that, ucas this, ucas that. Every single thing I do has to have something in relation to university.
But I am unbelievably terrified. I know that i HAVE to go to university, because (and this sounds the same for you) it is what people expect of me. And I know that in many ways I do want to go. But I can't stand the thought of leaving. I have separation anxeity and so find it ahrd to be away from home, and also some problems, as it seems you do, with being around loasd of people. So I am totally freaked out.
Looking back on that I realise it is completley unhelpful and self centred, but I just thought you might like to see that I am also in the same boat as you!!! XX
   
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Re: Going to Uni - February 25th 2009, 11:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by innocentlyangelic View Post
I totally get understand what you're saying Faith. I am in year 12 (and I guess you are too?) and ALL (literally all) my school goes on about is uni. I am getting so sick of it!!!!! its uni this, uni that, ucas this, ucas that. Every single thing I do has to have something in relation to university.
But I am unbelievably terrified. I know that i HAVE to go to university, because (and this sounds the same for you) it is what people expect of me. And I know that in many ways I do want to go. But I can't stand the thought of leaving. I have separation anxeity and so find it ahrd to be away from home, and also some problems, as it seems you do, with being around loasd of people. So I am totally freaked out.
Looking back on that I realise it is completley unhelpful and self centred, but I just thought you might like to see that I am also in the same boat as you!!! XX
How do you deal with them constantly going on about it?


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Re: Going to Uni - February 28th 2009, 02:10 PM

Well...to be honest I'm not sure I cope very well!!!
I have tried ignoring them, but as I'm sure you know...this is almost completley useless, as they still go on!!
I have basically tried convincing myself that it isn't the be all and end all...although this also hasn't worked very well.
To be honest, I think it kind of depends on the person; at school the people who deal with it do, and the people who don't are just freaked out. I don't think there is any real way to help make it better. You could try talking to your teachers? Or this may be just the most useless thing ever...I don't know.
For various different reasons I've had to get the school involved in my life (against my better judgement) and one of the things I've talked about is how them constantly going on at me isn't helping AT ALL, and I think, after some emails from my head of house, they are starting to lay off a bit...of course this really is only a bit. But then again every little helps...
I realise I haven't really been at all helpful...sorry
PM me if you want!!
   
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