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Harrier3517 Offline
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I'd like to share my story, and ask for advice. - January 23rd 2011, 06:57 PM

My name is Andrew Stiles, I'm 18 years old, and I am struggling to become motivated. I know that alone probably belongs in another forum post, but please allow me to elaborate.

My relationship with my mother, and step-father became hazardous around July, 2009. I had met a girl earlier, and we spent the majority of our time together, I believe this triggered my mothers depression, as well as irrational behavior. She spent the days crying, or shouting at everyone, and I became dissatisfied with my family. I was in High School, 12th grade(thanks to my girlfriend re-enrolling me, which is another story) struggling to make it to and from school, my mother started persuading me to remain at home with her, and her attachment issues only increased when I decided to reach out to my biological father, whom I had never spoken with. After meeting with him, and realizing the story she had given me about him most of my life, had either been false, or drastically exaggerated... I began to socialize with him, which caused the boiling point.

Around August, 2009 my mother exploded, and demanded I choose from the 3 options she set for me. 1) Leave my girlfriend, and cease contact with my father. 2) Leave my girlfriend, and take up more work around the house, as well as get a job to pay my "rent". 3) "Get out of her home". I'm not exaggerating, even if you don't believe i'm unbiased. I chose to leave the home, and find a better environment. I decided to move to my grandfathers home, and my girlfriend fully supported me, as always. I spent a few months there, until he had become persuaded by my mother that I was involved in drugs, alcohol, and all other sorts of mischief ( Which was completely false). So finally, Around July of 2010 I moved out of his home, and thanked him for his hospitality. I now live with my girlfriend and her family, in a pretty stable environment.

I explained all of this so that I could bring you all up to date, currently I am struggling to finish my High School credits, in a Community Center responsible for adults that didn't graduate. After I receive my diploma I would like to go to college, but my problem is this. I am the only person not providing income in the household, and it provides stress, and severe depression on my part. I feel worthless to them, and I also feel like a freeloader. I've been trying to get a job, I'm a part of a Youth program, but the process is tedious, and very very time consuming. I need to get a job, and provide income, for ME. It'll change my life, seeing as how I struggle from demoralization, and lack of motivation. The economy these days is NOT what it used to be, and i've struggled for months to get a job, I'm merely asking for advice on what path to pursue to increase my income, and stability? I'll answer any questions you wish to know, and I truly TRULY hope someone can help me.

Sincerely,
Andrew D

[EDIT] This might belong in a different topic, I wasn't sure. I apologize ahead of time if it's incorrectly posted.
   
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Re: I'd like to share my story, and ask for advice. - January 23rd 2011, 07:39 PM

First off good for you for getting into a safe and healthy environment!!

You should probably sit down with your girlfriend and her parents and tell them exactly how you feel and what they believe you should do. Tell them that you are doing the best you can to finish school an find a job so you can pay rent. Remind them that you appreciate all they are doing for you and for allowing you to live there. Offer any help around the house that you can as well.

I hope this helps! PM me if you need anything.
   
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Re: I'd like to share my story, and ask for advice. - January 23rd 2011, 11:25 PM

Hello, Andrew! Welcome to TeenHelp. =) I'm going to move this thread to the "Education and Careers" forum, since your primary focus seems to be on getting a job and finding the motivation to succeed in general. I am truly sorry to hear about what happened with your mother and grandfather, but I am glad to hear that your girlfriend and her family have been so supportive of you. =D Keep them in the loop about everything you're trying to do, and I'm sure they won't see you as a "freeloader".





   
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Re: I'd like to share my story, and ask for advice. - January 24th 2011, 01:02 AM

Well, it's reaching a boiling point for my girlfriend, she shouldn't be providing for me, and we both know it. It's wearing thin for her, and I don't think this situation will turn out well, unless I can pull my own weight, which I definitely want anyways.
   
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