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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
fuckcollege Offline
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College sucks - August 28th 2011, 12:53 AM

So, it's my second night at college. The transition has been really tough on me. I didn't want to leave my house yesterday I was crying for several hours, and I was crying in the car, also when I got here. Yesterday was okay, not much downtime, spent time with my roommate until we went to bed. Today I spent time with her again but around 2 we split up and now it's 9 and she won't hangout with me tonight...not in a bitchy way, just hanging out with other friends. I haven't made a single friend here other than her and her friends but I'm not really friends with them. Like, I don't actually like them, they're very immature and we just aren't connecting. Idek how to make friends at this point and my depression is getting the better of me, as I've been sleeping/crying in my dorm for the past 7 hours. I literally have no idea what to do. All I want is to go home. Maybe it'll get better when classes start but if it doesn't i literally don't know what the fuck i should do. On top of that I still miss my ex girlfriend so much it's tearing me up inside and she hates me (not getting into that right now) I need someone to talk to. Someone, anyone who has gone through this send me a message and i'll give you my email or something I need to talk to someone NOW please. I'm not going to kill myself or anything, I just really need to talk.
   
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Re: College sucks - August 28th 2011, 01:07 AM

Well I'm not old enough for university lol but I think I can say something,

Wait until classes start because that way you'll have more of a chance of making new friends, because right now you sound homesick. there's nothing wrong with it but eventually you'll get used to college life and hopefully it'll be memorable

So for the time being try to explore the place and get your mind set on trying to enjoy the year

best of luck
   
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Re: College sucks - August 28th 2011, 09:45 AM

Hey there,

I'm the same age as you I'm guessing since I'm going into college too.

I know you may be feeling very depressed and lonely right now, but trust me when I say it's going to get better.

Your home isn't going anywhere, and your parents are always going to be there waiting for you to come home on holidays. This is about you, and finding independence for yourself. Trust me, if you go into college with a positive attitude and embrace college life, you're going to look back and remember these as the best years of your life. Simply, nothing comes close to the freedom and independence you will be given here. Also, you can always go talk to councillors, and school proffesors if you feel you need to talk to someone in person. Remember, you're never alone! There's a lot of people feeling home sick as well.

As for your relationship problems, I don't really know what's happening, but like you said, that's a whole other story. If she hates you so much, just try to forget about her and go on with your life. Even if it seems you can't at first, you'll find yourself eventually forgetting due to not seeing her/focusing on your college studies. She hates you so why stress about her?

Remember, college life will only last for a very short stint of your life. Right now it might seem like there's a tiresome, trecherous journey ahead, but if you go into it the right way, I guarantee you you will come out of it a better person, and feeling like the best years of your life are past you.

Of course, I'm only just going into college like you, but I'm going to look at it in a positive way until it proves me otherwise, you should too .


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: College sucks - August 28th 2011, 11:05 AM

It will take a few days to make friends.. but put yourself out there!
It's gonna be hard being in a new bed, new people & new everything!
You'll get used to it, just give it some time!


Allow yourself to develop in all aspects of life- cut out from toxic people and realize it's for the best. Love yourself endlessly, and even if you don't love yourself right now, fake it until you do.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: College sucks - August 28th 2011, 01:30 PM

I just spent my first night here.. and honestly.. I felt the same way as you at first. The whole way here.. I was dreading it. When I got here.. I was dreading it. Within 2 hours, my roommate and suitemate went off to hang out without me, leaving me alone for 3 hours. It was possibly the worst 3 hours ever. Everyone I had met early was either immature or really stuck up. I felt like I would never make friends. I struggle with terrible anxiety, so it just kept getting worse.

I only have 1 person I actually know going to my school.. And we hung out for a little bit. Between 3pm and 11pm, I met so many people that I actually got along with. You have to make friends with that one outgoing person, and just follow them around for a day. Because chances are, if you easily get along with that one person, you will find more people through him/her that you will also get along with.


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Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
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Re: College sucks - August 28th 2011, 01:54 PM

I will take a few months to make friends. Sorry to say it, but I wanted to choke-slam the first 50 people I met at uni. The good ones will out, and most are found in classes and clubs, not frats.



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You can find my kind living right on the fault line, eyes on the seaside, lives on the B-side, kites on the power lines.
   
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Re: College sucks - August 28th 2011, 01:56 PM

By the way, the absolute WORST decision I ever made was to go to a uni where I knew no one. If you're trying to escape your past, fine (and I was), but know what you're getting into. I transferred back home and life is better. And I hated my random roommate, loved it when he pledged a frat and I had a 225 sq. ft. double to myself instead of the creepy menage-a-trois we had going on before. He did have really fucking nice stuff though, hdtv, 35 pairs of shoes, nudie jeans, etc.

Whatever you do, don't turn to substance abuse as a means of coping with the pain. I did, and it's still ruining my life three years later. I permanently damaged my brain and have lost memories I will never find again.



The neon burns a hole in the night, and the Freon burns a hole in the sky.
You can find my kind living right on the fault line, eyes on the seaside, lives on the B-side, kites on the power lines.
   
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Re: College sucks - August 30th 2011, 02:35 AM

Last year, I went to school where I didn't know anybody and I'm doing well now. I'm shy and don't make friends easily -- it took me two or three months to really get a couple of friends -- but it just took time. I promise you it gets better. Leave your door open. Say hi to people. When classes start, say hi to the people who sit next to you. Ask them if it's their first class of the day, or how their other classes have been going.

Stretch yourself a little. Knock on someone's door and ask if they want to get dinner or say "Hey, I'm watching a movie and you're welcome to come over if you want." I know it sounds hard, and the first time around, it is, but the thing is, that's how you meet people. Chances are, there are many people who feel just as alone and unhappy as you do, and they'll be grateful you made the first move (I know I was when people did it with me). And if they look down on you for it, so what? At least now you know straight off to avoid them.

And join some clubs. No lie, I met my best friends through an organization I'm in, and through a study group from one of my classes.

Just keep going. Focus on one day at a time. It gets so so so much better, I promise!



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Re: College sucks - August 30th 2011, 03:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by fuckcollege View Post
So, it's my second night at college. The transition has been really tough on me. I didn't want to leave my house yesterday I was crying for several hours, and I was crying in the car, also when I got here. Yesterday was okay, not much downtime, spent time with my roommate until we went to bed. Today I spent time with her again but around 2 we split up and now it's 9 and she won't hangout with me tonight...not in a bitchy way, just hanging out with other friends. I haven't made a single friend here other than her and her friends but I'm not really friends with them. Like, I don't actually like them, they're very immature and we just aren't connecting. Idek how to make friends at this point and my depression is getting the better of me, as I've been sleeping/crying in my dorm for the past 7 hours. I literally have no idea what to do. All I want is to go home. Maybe it'll get better when classes start but if it doesn't i literally don't know what the fuck i should do. On top of that I still miss my ex girlfriend so much it's tearing me up inside and she hates me (not getting into that right now) I need someone to talk to. Someone, anyone who has gone through this send me a message and i'll give you my email or something I need to talk to someone NOW please. I'm not going to kill myself or anything, I just really need to talk.
You've mentioned your problem more than once.

"I have not left my dorm."

Get out of your dorm, check out the campus, talk to people, ask questions. Honestly, university is a blast, I felt the same way when I first got there, but I can't wait to go back.


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Re: College sucks - August 31st 2011, 01:51 AM

So you've been at college for a day and you've apparently spent hours at home crying, you cried your way to the uni, you cried when you got there and you just spend the past seven hours crying while your roommates went out and had fun.

Does this seem like a good plan to you?

Hopefully not. Because you aren't making this particularly easy on yourself. You need to actually make the effort to make friends, lessons will make that easier, but you have to be willing to actually put in the effort and you quite obviously haven't done that just yet. You've spent your whole time either crying or in your dorm.

Sorry if this is harsh but so far you've got nobody to blame but yourself.

That said, it's been a while since you posted this so I hope things have gone a little better since.
   
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