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Question this is what happens when I get a bad mark - November 6th 2011, 03:31 PM

on Friday I had a History oral test, where I got a really bad mark (4 out of 10). When I told my mother she got a lot angry with me. I don't think she was completely wrong because I had to study more, but I think she's wrong when I get 6, which is ok, and she says that i can do a lot better. I hate history and I find it a lot difficult to study, understand and I can't talk about it fluently neither if I repeat that aloud for a hundred times.
Anyway, I got a really awful mark.

I study languages at school and I love English. Since I first studied it when I was 11 in middle school, I've laways gotten great marks, like 10 or 9. In middle school, the lowest mark I got was 6 because I didn't study the story of... I don't remember, but I didn't know a fairy tale.

When I went to high school, my marks got a bit lower because they expect you to do much more, but they were and are still the best of the class most of the time.

This year I have the chance to spend 8 days in England (5 days in Bath and 3 days in London).
When I told my mom about that on Friday she told me "No, I don't think I will let you go. You need to be punished for your awful mark". I was comeing back home from my dancing lesson with my best friend. We both got angry with my mother.
When I finally got home, my mom told me "you can go to England only if you will get 7 in History within next week". The problem starts now.
My History teacher decides when to test us, we can't tell him "I want to be tested today" because he gets angry. I was really terrified.

after that she told me "if you prove me that you have studied history well, I will let you go". I spent all of the afternnon studying.

But the question is:
if your child got a bad mark in a subject which is difficult for them and they asked you to go to a foreign contry to study, what would you tell them? Would you react like my mother?


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Re: this is what happens when I get a bad mark - November 6th 2011, 03:46 PM

I can understand both sides of this. We all have that one subject we HATE and that we struggle with. My mom always told me to do the best I could and that she understood that I was going to screw up sometimes and that a bad grade here or there wasn't the end of the world. I can understand that she wants you to have consequences, but to take the trip away over one bad grade in a class that's hard for you doesn't seem entirely fair. I would probably let my child go to have the experience and deal with the grade situation another way.

Maybe explain to your mom how your teacher tests and that it isn't your fault if you can't get tested this week and ask her how else you can prove that you're trying in that class.


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Re: this is what happens when I get a bad mark - November 8th 2011, 08:40 AM

If my child wanted to study abroad but was getting low marks overall, then I'm not going to let them go because if they're doing poorly here, it stands to reason they'll do poorly there. My money would be flushed down the shitter alongside their grades. I say overall mark because I can understand cocking up one course, especially if they dislike it. I'd overlook that low course mark depending how high their other course marks were.

I'd also want to know why they wished to study abroad before making any decision. In particular, I'd question whether it was a form of running away from a problem at school or a different motive. If it were the former, then they're not going because they have to learn to deal with their problems rather than spending mommy and daddy's money.

I support what your mother said because it's not cheap to fly a kid somewhere so they can study abroad. To me, I wouldn't accept 7/10 as a sufficient mark, it'd have to be higher so I think your mother is going easy on you. As for your history teacher, don't run to mommy crying about how he tests because if my kid wanted to study abroad, they'd first have to show a considerable amount of independence and responsibility. If they whined to me that their teacher tested them whenever, I'd say too damn bad, I'd be willing to talk with him/her to understand their teaching methods but getting a 7/10 (not a great mark) is peanuts compared to flying across Europe. In fact, the more they whined about how the teacher taught (after I talked with him/her and found nothing wrong), then I'm less likely to agree to send them abroad.


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Last edited by OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!; November 8th 2011 at 08:46 AM.
   
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Re: this is what happens when I get a bad mark - November 8th 2011, 05:25 PM

I'm going to respond you to every singe thing you said just to tell you what I didn't say in the text.

1- I'm not getting low mars overall. I've never been good at History and my mom knows. Almost every other mark I got was good, except one in Latin. My mom acceptes 6 as a good mark in almost every subject and she has never punished me for a bad mark.

2- I want to go there because I always wanted to spend more than 2 days abroad and this was my occasion to do that. Plus, I could learn something interesting about English traditions and visit places I have never seen before. I think this is a great chance to do it, because the price was really low. Once I went to London for 3 days and I remember that the prices were way higher than the ones we have to pay this time.

3- I WAS NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT MY TEACHER. I just said that I couldn't get a higher mark because he decides when to test us and I think he won't test me again in History until next month. I don't go crying to my mom about how teachers do their job, unless I see that they can't teach. For example, last year I had an English teacher who didn't know English and I had to correct her sometimes.
And, aout independence and responsibility... if I wasn't just a bit responsible and indipendent I would still be in first grade with awful marks overall in an easy school. While, I'm in second grade with quite good marks overall and in a difficult school that is driving me crazy because I hate it.

Maybe we have just two different points of view, but I would let my child go as long as they promise to study well and as long as I know they are mature enough to be on their own for a week, so I think my mom (and you too) are really strict.


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the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place, as maladapted to your surroundings as a seal on a beach—lumbering, clumsy, easily distracted, huddled in the company of other misfits, unable to recognize the ambient roar of your intended habitat, in which you’d be fluidly, brilliantly, effortlessly at home.
   
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