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-   -   Okay, so I'm terrified... (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f22-education-careers/t90002-okay-so-im-terrified/)

dabauss December 5th 2011 11:09 PM

Okay, so I'm terrified...
All throughout my first two years of high school, I haven't done so well. I mean, I'm incredibly intelligent, but I don't do my homework. I don't know what it is, I just don't. And it hurts my grades. Majorly. This year (11th grade) I am in the International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme (IB), and things have gotten considerably worse, to the point where it's ripping me and my parents to shreds (I haven't actually been officially diagnosed with depression, but my school habits are probably one of the leading factors of it). I realize the severity of the situation, now that next year I'm going to begin applying to colleges. You see, I want more than anything to be automatically accepted to The University of Texas at Austin, but as of now that is totally, completely unrealistic for me, seeing as at the beginning of this semester I was BARELY in the top 20% of my class (and I am fairly positive I haven't moved up; automatic admission for my class is top 8%...).

I guess I'm just looking for some reassurance... A few of my fellow IBers and I want to go to UT, and it would be super embarrassing if I got CAPed (they basically tell you to go to a smaller UT network school for a year, then UT Austin). I just need to move up A LOT by the time next semester ends, and it just... It seems impossible. I don't know. I'm angry and upset with myself, mostly, because I should have seen this coming. I've done research, and it's improbable that I could make such a big jump, but I can try, right?

I don't know, I'm weird. One minute I thrive on a flash of hope, the next all I want to do is sleep my days away and forget the world...

Thank you!

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