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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ilyasviel Offline
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Exclamation I really need advice - January 21st 2012, 02:08 PM

Sorry but It'll be long. I am really serious about it and I really want other peoples advices. though it may be from a stranger but any words will really help me.

To start off:

I am suffering at anxiety disorder. I've been pretty much experiencing it almost everyday whenever I leave home or some places beyond my comfort zone for 2 years. Although my studies haven't really much affected and my grades haven't really dropped at 85% average. But still experiencing panic attack is very troubling. I mostly feel drained fighting it. I refuse to take medication as I know the threat in taking antidepressant pills or anti-anxiety pills. My parents knows about this. They offer me a lot of stuffs, like going to a vacation or if I want they can give me a car or something like that. I have no interest in pretty much everything the only thing that I asked for is a laptop which is reasonable for my studies and a psp. I haven't pretty much asked for anything not needed except for that.

To be honest, after I have stopped loafing around I have gradually changed.
I stopped drinking alcohol stopped hanging around my friends which they never continued to study and just started building a family and making their own parents pay for their own daily expense as well as their children and wife expense. One of my friends started doing business but quickly got hooked up with casino and mostly loosing all of his funds and thankfully his parents save his loaned car. i have also stopped partying all night. The only vices I haven't stopped is smoking I tried to stop it in hopes that it might cure my anxiety attacks but after 3 months or more it proved to be useless. Probably, my anxiety attacks started when I stopped loafing around, stopped hanging around with friends and gradually my all of my friends were almost gone

Well I became anti-social and I am very much comfortable with it. Still I cannot explain why I do have anxiety attacks. Perhaps I have become lonely.
My grades are quite good and I haven't really been serious about it that much. I don't have friends at school mostly people approach me if they wan't to copy some assignments, exercises or just some random chat. I've tried joining a school organization which focuses on student publication at school but to no avail. I cannot dance in their tune. To be simple I don't feel very much welcomed and they are buddies and I'm kinda like a stranger who suddenly pop out. I really don't feel welcomed.

I tried having friends at school but due to my schedule and my hobbies I cannot find one. I am attending classes at irregular time. I don't have a proper block or section. Plus most of them just talk about girls, games, or fun night in which I am pretty much withdrawn. No one bullies me at school no one will dare as I am pretty sure since I am well built. I have studied martial arts and a little bit of military training.

I am not open into any relationship, I don't want to engage one. probably in the future but not now. I have zero interest.

My parents are really bother by my anxiety attacks and maybe they think I don't enjoy school or I am leaning into something that is not for me. They want me to rest and think about it. They gave me three options.

1.) Continue my studies and get my diploma. btw, I'll be graduating next year as BS information technology student at a very well known school in my country. After 7 years of college life. almost 3 years wasted getting a degree on nursing some of them are used up loafing around for 2 years. (Well after loafing around I've really taken up studying and had good grades)

2.) Stop studying and take my time for a bit and start working or continue my education.

3.) Stop Studying, as they will give me proper funds to start a business. They are also open in providing any necessary things like cars, or business location.

I don't they are testing me as I have very much known them that they will not joke or test me with these things. Plus it was a very serious conversation that literally shake me until now.

My original plan is after graduating in my degree, I'll start working and take up another college degree which is electronics communications engineer. Work at a really good company or aim working at another country which will pay a good sum Thereafter, I plan on working and getting enough funds to start a business. so basically my real goal after everything is to start a business. But now I am offered that choice I could start business and stop studying maybe for now but not forever.

But I still love studying. Even though I have no friends at school. Even if I have no proper place and have irregular time. I enjoy learning. I love reading books about human development and inspirational books. I enjoy learning about computers.

I feel I have everything in life except for a girl but because I am not interested in it. not because there is none. Well I have some friends but I am leaning at a different path and interest and I have in no intent of changing myself just to please anybody. I really can't be happy in my life no matter what. It may look perfect but I am really quite troubled with anxiety and my career as they have offered me something big.

All the people tell me to engage into business as many people are aspiring one but don't have the proper funds for it. But still I feel it is wrong. My intuition has never been wrong. Although, it is a good opportunity but I am the type not to rely into other people except when I am backed against the corner.

I have only one desire but to cure my anxiety without medications. I am sure it is possible. It might be the only thing that is blocking me. Many people are having a high expectations on me and I have high hopes for myself as well.
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Re: I really need advice - January 26th 2012, 12:44 AM

It seems like you are already on the right track as far as education and careers go, but your anxiety is really sort of... hindering your progress on the social front. The only thing I can suggest if your anxiety is already being treated is to try making friends in the hobbies that you do have. Try and be more open with others, or talk with classmates because they are more relate-able (as they share a common interest). You sound like you truly have a good head on your shoulders, and you have the opportunity to use it in any way you'd like. It may take some time and doing, but you will pull through if you really want to.

"Ignore the ramblings of the ignorant, and step on or over their crumpled bodies as you make your way to the top of the mountain. Eat upon their flesh for fuel, and, through your determination and will, banish them to obscurity and a life of complacency and self righteousness that is the hell in which they live"

-Richard Safreed

"Civilize the mind, but make savage the body."
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
ilyasviel Offline
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Re: I really need advice - January 26th 2012, 02:45 PM

thank you so much. I really thought that no one would read and comment about it. Although, it has already passed I have decided to finish my studies and probably do some part time work if agreed by my doctor. I really wish to stop my anxiety problems and I believe that I have no longer any options but to be medicated. I fear the effects of medication as I have read a lot of articles and comments about taking anti-depressant and anti-anxiety meds. Thank you so much again. I have no one to really talk about it aside from 2 of my friends.
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