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Palmolive Offline
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Moving out, on my own. - October 28th 2016, 09:48 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.


It's a guess that this belongs here mods, so feel free to move if needed.

So, I lived in student accomodation last year so I was never alone and it was for four months and I relapsed big time and ended up on a psych ward in London.

I have this week put in an application for a house and if I get it, I move out VERY soon and if I don't it's still going to happen in the near future.

Thing is, I struggle on my own. I am trying to spend more and more time in my room to get used to my own silence etc but with my complex mental health issues, I keep thinking when I live on my own I can do this that and the other with out anyone knowing. And also I have like psychotic episodes and I can also become very paranoid about someone being in the house to torture me, rape me and murder me. And I have NO idea how to manage this.

So advice would be good or anything really. It'll be very appreciated.

Thank you!

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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eeba Offline
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Re: Moving out, on my own. - October 29th 2016, 12:33 AM

Maybe it would help you to have a roommate? Although I know that you lived in student housing and maybe the whole purpose of getting your own house is to get away from that...
It is very brave of you and I really applaud you for doing this!! But living alone is not for everyone, and if it would make you more comfortable I'd say to seek out a roommate. Do you know anyone who is looking for a place?
If you do go it alone, is there anyone you can call if you need to talk to someone or if you think you are about to do something dangerous or that you shouldn't do because no one is there to see you?
Wishing you all the best of luck, good for you for pursuing this, it's not easy but stay strong! My hopes are with you, feel free to message me any time if you want to talk!

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Re: Moving out, on my own. - October 29th 2016, 10:32 AM

Hey Jessie,

I admire your strength for moving out! I'm yet to do that, and while that means I can't give a lot of advice, I do know what its like to be alone for a while, and how the paranoid thoughts can set in.

What I've found helpful for me, when I'm in the house on my own, is to distract myself, particularly by watching things whether on TV or on my laptop. The other thing that helps me, is to walk around the house. Sometimes if I stay in one room, I get worried about someone being in the house (even though all the doors are locked and windows are shut...) and I start to feel nervous, essentially trapping myself in the room. If I walk around the house I know that no-one else is there, just me. You could also get a really cheap and small cctv like camera, but as long as you use it to reassure yourself that no-one is in the house and not trapping yourself in there.

I'm not entirely sure about preventing a relapse....I'm wondering if scheduling regular contact with family and friends might help? Even though you'll be on your own, and you may feel like you can do all sorts of things without anyone knowing, by having regular contact with people you care about, it might help to prevent a relapse? More so if there are certain times that may be more triggering to you.

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Re: Moving out, on my own. - October 29th 2016, 01:37 PM

Hey Jessie,

I have some ideas that you could try, some of which is what I did when I moved into my apartment. These suggestions may or may not help but it is worth to give it a try.

When you move, remember your bedroom should only be used to sleep and change in. So, keeping other things out of your room will decrease your stress and help you to relax.

Spend more time out of your bedroom and in your kitchen, dinning room, sitting room, living room, etc., this will allow you to feel you have the needed space to breathe. I found being in my room all the time it's very small and I would feel that way.

When I come home I lock the door behind me. When you do move in you can go around and ensure all your windows and doors are locked. Doing this will allow you to unlock and then lock so you won't miss anything. For instance if you unlock a window and open it for air, when you close it you can lock it.

I have this thing where I don't like open windows at night so I have to have curtains. Get a bunch of curtains if your new place doesn't already have them. When you have the curtains ensure you open them during the day for light, this is help your overall mood, then when it's dark you just close them for privacy.

You can set your place up so you have places to do activities. For instance if you enjoy crafts and art you can have a area where you have everything you need. Then an area that is separate for homework, or anything else. For your kitchen you can spend time baking or cooking if you enjoy those things. If you enjoy baking and it's something you enjoy but have too many of them you can freeze them or donate them, or give some to friends and family. It's an idea.

I also recommend getting a low maintenance plant, this is something I never did but I wish I had done. Plants make the space lively. If you like plants then this is bonus for you. You could always adopt a pet, pets are wonderful therapy buddies, if you don't already have a pet that you will be bringing to your new place.

An idea that might be helpful is you can invite your friend over for sleepovers that way you aren't home alone during the week. You can invite them over for the day, to study, or play board games. You can also set a schedule to go for walks, making phone calls to your supports, and keeping busy is one of the best ways to help you feel more comfortable.

Another option is putting up "hope" "you are strong" etc., those encouraging words and sayings around your place. It will also help to make it feel more like home. You can also put up art or paintings (you can buy them or put your own art up) on your walls.

I hope this is helpful, let us know when your application was accepted. If you need anything let me know.

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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Palmolive Offline
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Re: Moving out, on my own. - November 7th 2016, 05:34 PM

Thank you for all the advice. Today I got the news that I have been accepted s I get the keys on Thursday and move in properly a week on Saturday.

I will be taking my hamster and rabbit and I am considering asking if i can get a cat after a few weeks.

I have bought pretty little things to make it feel cozy already including things like candles, a big photo frame that puts 6 photos in, postive quote signs etc.

I HAVE curtains!

I am buying a bolt for the front and back door to make me feel more safe

I will be slamming quotes on post it notes and dbt posters everywhere.

My closest friend live not next door but too which might help and i have other friends to imvite over too. I told mum ill see her most days even if its her coming for a coffee or me coming back home for one. Its less than a 10 minute walk.

Im trying. Im so excited but nervous too and ugg.

But thank you xx

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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